HPN Movie Series: The Frog Prince (Cannon), Sun @ 2200 EST

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Shalabi » Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:59 pm

use the search box!
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Postby dan » Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:12 pm

both should be in the proper boxes by now
I just felt that people might want to see Billy Bob's handsome mug in higher quality
if you still have the old file and really don't want to re-download, it's 9 seconds shorter so I think the syncing difference should not be insurmountable
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Postby loaf angel » Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:21 pm

dan wrote:why's he riding the horse away from the rocket?
or at all for that matter?


they've already landed. now they farm
goldsoundz wrote:i'd bang that moron
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Postby ratbags » Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:22 pm

dan wrote:both should be in the proper boxes by now
I just felt that people might want to see Billy Bob's handsome mug in higher quality
if you still have the old file and really don't want to re-download, it's 9 seconds shorter so I think the syncing difference should not be insurmountable


thanks dan!
session to session
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:11 pm

2 hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:47 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Astronaut Farmer
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 22, 2018 10:03 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Astronaut Farmer
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 22, 2018 11:59 pm

Code: Select all
[22:11] <@Ampersand_> 3
[22:11] <@Ampersand_> 2
[22:11] <@Ampersand_> 1
[22:11] <besoin> i got the 2 gb one
[22:11] <astrorat> i got the one in the db
[22:11] <autarch> mine is 4 gb.
[22:11] <AstroDonna> i dunno if i got the bigger one, just got the one in db
[22:11] <sideshowraheem> I got whichever one was in the movie series DB
[22:12] <lhs> i got the one with the handjob
[22:12] <dan2> this one isn't great either but the first one was like...painful
[22:12] <bbm> palying whatevers in the dropbox
[22:12] <dan2> thats it
[22:12] <@Ampersand_> i upgraded to the 75 GB file
[22:12] <besoin> where the hell is this supposed to be
[22:12] <autarch> oh sick billy bob thornton is in this?
[22:12] <astrorat> is this on the moon?
[22:12] <@Ampersand_> i want to see every star
[22:12] <astrorat> this is the moon correct?
[22:12] <bbm> this has the gravitas that i require
[22:12] <AstroDonna> arabian niiiiights
[22:12] <besoin> they'd better not tell me this is texas
[22:13] <impdentist> ah fuck we started?
[22:13] <AstroDonna> like arabian daaaayyyyss
[22:13] <astrorat> this cast is like a Coen bros movie
[22:13] <impdentist> what's the next minute
[22:13] <sideshowraheem> yeah pretty good cast
[22:13] <dan2> 2:00 in 15
[22:13] <besoin> 2:00 in 15 secs
[22:13] <dan2> billy's already made it to mars tho
[22:13] <impdentist> gimme 2
[22:13] <dan2> 2:00
[22:13] <autarch> where are the plants?
[22:13] <trebbers> If they play 'A Horse With No Name' I'll die
[22:13] <autarch> not a very good farmer
[22:13] <astrorat> it seems like that would be unbearably hot
[22:13] <impdentist> oh damn
[22:13] <autarch> ok there's plants but it's allw eeds
[22:13] <sideshowraheem> he looks more like an astronaut rancher
[22:13] <autarch> all weeds
[22:13] <impdentist> what is it now
[22:13] <autarch> this guy can't farm for shit
[22:14] <bbm> huh
[22:14] <astrorat> pancakes suck
[22:14] <astrorat> waffles are better
[22:14] <dan2> maybe this takes place in the Interstellar timeline
[22:14] <impdentist> ok gimme 3
[22:14] <bbm> very bright on the surface of the sun
[22:14] <autarch> the girls are loopy? the dad is dressed like a fucking spaceman
[22:14] <dan2> 3:00 NOW
[22:14] <besoin> 3:00
[22:14] <besoin> the polish bros
[22:14] <trebbers> His breath must stink after wearing that stillsuit all the time
[22:14] <impdentist> thx
[22:14] <autarch> the wall of legends
[22:15] <dan2> BBT must have huffed so much jet fuel
[22:15] <bbm> i think the only thing i knew or know about this film is that it existed and the title
[22:15] <AstroDonna> bill bob's child face is unsettling
[22:15] <sideshowraheem> writing by polish? is he going to try to fly to the sun at night?
[22:15] <@Ampersand_> Making Better Paper Airplanes
[22:15] <lhs> he drank all his thigh-pad poopoo water
[22:15] <billybob511> Photoshopped his face onto the winning science project.
[22:15] <autarch> is that a younger Mace?
[22:15] <dan2> Red's Branding Barn?
[22:15] <impdentist> i love how this starts in medias res
[22:15] <@Ampersand_> black market rocket fuel
[22:15] <astrorat> lol
[22:16] <trebbers> jokes
[22:16] <autarch> lol good one BBT
[22:16] <bbm> ha
[22:16] <bbm> no.
[22:16] <AstroDonna> hey-o
[22:16] <impdentist> yoiks
[22:16] <autarch> he is the least charming man
[22:16] <trebbers> What a catch
[22:16] <billybob511> This diner charges for water.
[22:17] <autarch> what a fucking loon
[22:17] <besoin> what year is this supposed to be?
[22:17] <bbm> "who are you"
[22:17] <@Ampersand_> "why are you dressed like that?"
[22:17] <lhs> he should modify his engine to run on corn syrup
[22:17] <dan2> teacher is pressing the emergency button under her desk
[22:17] <sideshowraheem> 2057
[22:17] <trebbers> *teacher writes 'Suicide - cry for help' behind BBT*
[22:17] <dan2> good lord
[22:17] <bbm> did that orange ascot come with the suit
[22:17] <impdentist> this is educational malpractice
[22:17] <besoin> some real conservative fantasy bullshit here
[22:17] <autarch> holy shit sick own
[22:17] <bbm> space clown
[22:17] <@Ampersand_> space clown is a new one
[22:18] <@Ampersand_> lol
[22:18] <bbm> haha
[22:18] <astrorat> she cut him open
[22:18] <astrorat> to the core
[22:18] <astrorat> destroyed him completely
[22:18] <dan2> I wanna say that to every survivalist decked out in camo that I meet
[22:18] <astrorat> now he needs to get real hammered
[22:18] <autarch> RIP BBT
[22:18] <impdentist> why would he go with 13 of all the apollos
[22:18] <@Ampersand_> Jean Candy
[22:18] <besoin> #astronautteens
[22:18] <bbm> is the story that he's a terrorist threat
[22:19] <bbm> i hope so
[22:19] <AstroDonna> yeah
[22:19] <bbm> hahaha
[22:19] <AstroDonna> i was gonna say, the NSA would care about this
[22:19] <autarch> tomorrow
[22:19] <autarch> HAHAHA
[22:19] <trebbers> Frogot that BBT had a period where he looked like a fucking elf
[22:19] <lhs> "are coins okay"
[22:19] <autarch> "We're gonna lose the house"
[22:19] <billybob511> Rocket fuel less expensive than mediocre steak.
[22:19] <autarch> "but i gonna go to space"
[22:19] <impdentist> he's just trying to escape his creditors
[22:19] <bbm> what the fuck is this movie
[22:20] <dan2> Hell or High Rocket
[22:20] <trebbers> ah
[22:20] <Shalabi> "ill pay you back once I get the space gold"
[22:20] <bbm> i think you're a piece of shit
[22:20] <bbm> me, over here, in the audience
[22:20] <autarch> this guy is so selfish.
[22:20] <trebbers> On the side of the banker
[22:20] <besoin> this is before gofundme i guess
[22:20] <astrorat> is his name farmer?
[22:20] <sideshowraheem> The Payment Farmer
[22:20] <AstroDonna> how is building a rocket gonna pay for his house
[22:20] <astrorat> a farmer named farmer
[22:20] <besoin> Why No Launch?
[22:20] <astrorat> building a rocket
[22:20] <impdentist> one billboard outside bullshit, texas
[22:20] <autarch> He is so fucking selfish how is he the good guy? he doesn't care about his kids or family at all.
<dan2> *BBT changes crash coodinates to the bank on his whiteboard*
<bbm> is this a sequel to another movie
<bbm> this just started like this
<dan2> what is HAPPENING
<lhs> that must mean his first name is astronaut
<dan2> daddeh
<AstroDonna> wow, kind of a mean game
<besoin> when does james earl jones show up
<bbm> HA HAHAH A u fuggin idiot
<billybob511> Very unrealistic that any of this man's children would attend a school he could visit for show-and-tell.
<Ampersand_> this weird moon-obsessed family
<Ampersand_> are they a cult
<AstroDonna> oh, i wuld love that plot twist
<trebbers> High chance of eventually finding 5 bodies in matching space suits in that house
<AstroDonna> movie ends with them donning nikes and drinking fuel
<impdentist> oh the girl's name is actually sunshine?
<besoin> space suits and fresh nikes
<lhs> heh
<bbm> he finally asks for her input
<dan2> is this all a parable about erectile disfunction?
<AstroDonna> lol
<bbm> "i've been at it for the last 15 years but maybe i should ask my wife what she thinks"
<autarch> shit what time are we at?
<dan2> 12:00 in 15
<astrorat> ready to launch now eh
<dan2> 12:00
<trebbers> uh
<autarch> tell me when we're at 12:11
<dan2> Charles Rocket
<dan2> right now aut
<besoin> fuck
<Shalabi> "your rocket smells like the rocket"
<Ampersand_> "that's moon juice, honey"
<autarch> thank you
<sideshowraheem> oh god dan, that portends poorly
<astrorat> is he senile
<trebbers> "Are you cheating on me with the capsule?"
<Shalabi> the whole family is brain damaged from the rocket fuel fumes
<billybob511> Gotta let the space women think he's available.
<bbm> this family can't afford name brand cereal
<AstroDonna> i hope the one day be married to an eternal child
<trebbers> Farm is going to be a superfund site before it's over
<bbm> they get the bagged shit
<astrorat> bruce fuckin dern
<autarch> gary busey?
<dan2> a space drifter
<Ampersand_> "found this drifter"
<Ampersand_> lol
<impdentist> it's true i couldn't picture bruce dern in a salmon turtleneck
<dan2> Grandpa lives in the silo
<AstroDonna> staring to see why his wife thinks this is normal
<sideshowraheem> I feel like Dern is really half assing this
<autarch> can you imagine having to spend time with this guy and constantly have to talk about the moon and nothing else?
<astrorat> bruce dern doesnt know hes in a movie
<Ampersand_> Rick and Morty Season 10
<astrorat> he was just invited over to billy bob's house
<autarch> jfc nobody knows EVERY person in town
<bbm> invitation to the moon
<trebbers> "Stay away. Yours, The Moon"
<bbm> finally!!!
<bbm> haha
<autarch> haha
<besoin> uh
<astrorat> lol
<trebbers> ahaha
<billybob511> Bank wouldn't accept his moon land as collateral.
<Shalabi> lol
<dan2> our hero
<bbm> moon rocks?
<AstroDonna> will be needing a gif
<sideshowraheem> Black Bloc Thornton
<besoin> astronaut farmer privilege
<autarch> send him to jail pls
<Shalabi> audience surragate
<bbm> huh?
<autarch> YES
<impdentist> chopper?
<bbm> if i didn't love you i wouldn't put you and your family out on the street
<dan2> love the burns
<Ampersand_> is this a period piece
<dan2> is that a swastika on the police seal?
<bbm> haha
<autarch> is his name actually farmer?
<AstroDonna> this is clearly pre housing crisis
<AstroDonna> ew what
<lhs> yes, astronaut farmer
<trebbers> The fuck
<AstroDonna> what the fuck fuck fuck
<astrorat> the judge has a spanking paddle
<autarch> this is so problematic
<impdentist> that's texas law actually
<bbm> hope there's a spanking
<bbm> dammit
<AstroDonna> this is so far past problematic
<besoin> he's a rancher?
<billybob511> Yeah, that's probably the most realistic detail so far.
<autarch> I have no respect for this character
<dan2> dust rancher
<autarch> he is so selfish
<lhs> the school nurse is the psych
<Shalabi> boys will be boys!!!
<trebbers> "How often do you think of the moon? 1.....5.....10"
<autarch> this is so fucking unbearable
<sideshowraheem> this is basically his first scene with Martin Freeman in Fargo
<impdentist> this man is a dangerous influence on these kids
<billybob511> "You think you can squeeze into a nosecone?"
<besoin> the score is the worst part
<besoin> trying to normalize him
<AstroDonna> why does this kid need to see the nurse for sleeping?
<lhs> at this point it just seems like he's a product of his environment
<trebbers> Wish the punchline is that another farmer one town over beats him to space.
<dan2> "normal thing, everyone does it"
<dan2> lol treb
<AstroDonna> oh my god
<Ampersand_> this man has never grown an onion
<bbm> thank you donkeh
<autarch> ogres are like onions
<AstroDonna> she's quoting the donkey in shrek
<AstroDonna> lol bbm
<Shalabi> haha psychologists are the real crazies amirite???
<AstroDonna> oh my god
<impdentist> this movie is somehow about reagan
<astrorat> the rocket is a penis
<AstroDonna> penises aren't responsible
<Ampersand_> Astronaut Flatterer
<trebbers> waht
<Shalabi> ...
<dan2> bout to get nude on that moon
<besoin> so he's specifically going to the moon?
<autarch> love the sexual tension
<billybob511> The military?
<trebbers> Just fucking drop a dime to the FAA
<trebbers> The EPA for the fuel
<besoin> wish the teacher was armed
<autarch> holy shit, his name really is farmer
<autarch> insane
<AstroDonna> what in the hell
<trebbers> Homeschool time
<dan2> "so what"
<Shalabi> lol
<AstroDonna> sick burn
<Shalabi> I hate Astronaut Farmer
<impdentist> is the kid's name shepherd
<impdentist> shepherd farmer
<astrorat> lol
<AstroDonna> is this a cult documentary
<dan2> this is in the same vein as Patch Adams where a whole group of people keep letting off this insane destructive person just because he's a "dreamer"
<autarch> yeah this is really bad
<besoin> *white male dreamer
<AstroDonna> these kids are just like, yeah, this seems normal
<sideshowraheem> that's spot on dan
<impdentist> pretty sure absolutely not joking this would be legal in texas
<autarch> i hate to say it, but billy bob is fucking terrible in this
<Ampersand_> "yeah his rocket is huge"
<Shalabi> the rocket is indeed a penis
<AstroDonna> is that neko?
<Ampersand_> yep
<besoin> texas is used to spacecraft breaking up over it
<astrorat> billy bob has rarely been "Good"
<AstroDonna> neko did not give permission forthis
<Ampersand_> neko spacecase
<autarch> neko case?
<trebbers> "Back at school, or dead"
<autarch> it's neko case
<AstroDonna> is this an underground libertarian movie?
<sideshowraheem> it's pretty overground
<autarch> yeah he's a sovereign citizen for sure
<astrorat> the polish brothers are def libertarian
<AstroDonna> no, lady, take yoru kids and leave
<besoin> hopefully the mother will summon the candyman
<dan2> time for the standoff
<sideshowraheem> r/Ifuckinglovescience
<impdentist> what the hell science teacher in rural texas is teaching astrology
<astrorat> here comes the govt
<Shalabi> finally, the feds will save us
<autarch> it's not just overground, it's out of this world
<besoin> the real boogeymen
<besoin> in their cadillacs
<autarch> please kill astronautfarmer
<AstroDonna> jesus what's up ET
<autarch> big govt
<astrorat> they look the same
<AstroDonna> this is some x files shit
<trebbers> "It's so big where will we keep it?" "The FEMA camp, Chad"
<besoin> it's lazlo from real genius
<besoin> what the fuck
<trebbers> what
<astrorat> what
<Ampersand_> oh rad
<dan2> oh my do
<Shalabi> LOL
<dan2> go
<autarch> oh my fucking god
<bbm> oh man
<bbm> here it is
<AstroDonna> what is this movie?
<Ampersand_> "we'll send him back to space if you don't cooperate"
<dan2> "yet"
<autarch> "oh no, they're abusing the animals that we were going to kill"
<trebbers> Is this going to turn into a courtroom drama
<sideshowraheem> if he wasn't white they would have shot him by now
<Ampersand_> absolutely yes
<billybob511> "The Smell of Success is a 2009 Initiate Productions film directed by Michael Polish and starring Billy Bob Thornton, Téa Leoni, Kyle MacLachlan, and Ed Helms."
<dan2> the MAN always trying to keep the little guy down
<besoin> god, only 25 mins in
<billybob511> "It all begins when a tragic fan accident ends the life of Mr. Roses, the scientific genius behind Roses Manure Company, forcing his cosmetics salesgirl daughter Rosemary (Téa Leoni) to take control of the company. Rosemary isn’t sure if she has a nose for the family business."
<billybob511> "The film’s original title was Manure."
<Ampersand_> ...
<autarch> jesus it feels like a lifetime
<dan2> and on the list it goes
<AstroDonna> oh my god
<Ampersand_> yep
<AstroDonna> It's God's Not Dead for libertarians
<autarch> this is so libertarian
<impdentist> how many movies have the patriot act as a plot point
<sideshowraheem> well at least the movie doesn't like the patriot act
<impdentist> "god's not dead (so let's go to space and kill him)"
<dan2> "well at least they didn't find the other barn filled with guns"
<astrorat> cases like this?
<AstroDonna> wait you can specialize in cases liek this?
<trebbers> srsly
<autarch> BBT please download tor
<astrorat> "he's an astronaut farmer lawyer"
<AstroDonna> space cowboys!!
<AstroDonna> have we done that movie?
<astrorat> we were talking about it earlier
<astrorat> probably gonna do it
<AstroDonna> yessss
<trebbers> Doesn't matter if you want to die on a sub, hot air balloon, or spaceship. This guy will rep you
<Shalabi> dishonorable discharge for launching missiles at the moon
<Ampersand_> downloading Space Cowboys and Smell of Success now
<autarch> roy moore riding his horse
<dan2> fuuuuCK
<AstroDonna> har har
<trebbers> what
<autarch> this guy probably graduated from the School for Scoundrels
<sideshowraheem> that might be the worst joke ever made
<bbm> we never walked on the moon
<impdentist> this man has captured the imagination of the world
<bbm> uhh
<trebbers> sikkkkk
<autarch> holy shit
<dan2> this is also Swing Vote
<autarch> TORCHED
<besoin> oh no
<lhs> more of an astro-NOT amirite
<AstroDonna> oh no
<bbm> fuckin yes
<impdentist> DJA HEAR ABOUT THIS
<bbm> Leno
<AstroDonna> leno
<AstroDonna> goddamnit leno
<sideshowraheem> it wouldn't be a movie from 2006 without leno talking about the movie
<autarch> leno
<besoin> everyone take a shot
<bbm> HAHAHAHAH
<besoin> leno drop
<autarch> this is so bad
<Shalabi> actually good Leno joke
<bbm> * whistles *
<autarch> i can't take how bad this is
<Ampersand_> god, should we do Swing Vote?
<AstroDonna> i don't think billy bob can't talk about what's funny
<sideshowraheem> I assumed we'd done swing vote and I'd just missed it
<astrorat> lol swing vote
<dan2> the more you hate it the more I laugh
<autarch> swing vote did look bad.
<dan2> in fact I'm wearing a shirt that says that
<trebbers> "Sure he can"
<besoin> not my tempo
<AstroDonna> oh my farmer's insurance is gonna insure this
<autarch> jk simmons is the perfect guy for this role
<sideshowraheem> well at least JK gives it 110% in every movie
<Shalabi> here we go
<Ampersand_> J. Jonah Gman
<impdentist> by definition, donna
<astrorat> he always plays this role
<dan2> "We hate Farmer, bum duh dum da dum dum dum"
<trebbers> Loving the fake papers
<impdentist> haha dan
<besoin> heh, dan
<lhs> his daughters, olive farmer and bea farmer
<astrorat> where did the mexican ranch hand come from??
<autarch> I fucking hate movies that take place in texas
<AstroDonna> well
<AstroDonna> if the rocket fits
<billybob511> Well, if the shoe fits...
<Ampersand_> "someday, darling"
<sideshowraheem> well....
<billybob511> Ha
<dan2> lol
<besoin> a second montage
<autarch> "1st amendment protects freedom of speech"
<dan2> "they'll all get theirs in the end"
<AstroDonna> wait why are we at the fair
<autarch> god i hate this
<dan2> he wants to make it the moon and he can't even guide a skee-ball into the 50pt
<autarch> because they're wholesome white texans
<trebbers> Pays 10000 gallons of rocket fuel to get a rasta banana
<Ampersand_> damn they got GETEVEN for this carnival
<sideshowraheem> lol treb
<Shalabi> SEE! conservatives have fun too!
<astrorat> why is the fbi at the fair
<billybob511> Fair food?
<astrorat> this and gotti would've been a good double feature
<impdentist> fbi needs leisure time too
<dan2> two american heroes rat
<AstroDonna> why on earth is she tahnking him?
<Ampersand_> "if you're happy and you know itttt, spring your rocket"
<AstroDonna> he's done nothing but decide to torpedo his family's life wihtout her input
<impdentist> how is he
<besoin> what
<astrorat> "the carnival ride farmer"
<sideshowraheem> you don't have any fuckin money man, what are you doing
<Shalabi> um
<lhs> backup rocket plan
<Ampersand_> that man pushes the buttons for 5 dollars an hour
<autarch> HE CANT AFFORD THIS
<sideshowraheem> he took out a ninth mortgage on his house
<AstroDonna> is this the same movie?
<astrorat> is that bruce willis
<impdentist> he's just gonna turn the speed way up and launch one of those babies into space
<dan2> I mean, he can afford to spend $10,000,000 on a rocket
<AstroDonna> what?
<besoin> the illegal immigrant is operating it
<astrorat> HOLY SHIT
<Ampersand_> uh
<AstroDonna> do things just happen in this movie for no reason?
<impdentist> wait is it
<dan2> but he'll be damned if he has to pay his mortgage
<impdentist> how
<Ampersand_> was this advertised???
<Shalabi> he's secretly selling huge batches of LSD to fund this
<sideshowraheem> I didn't know he was in this
<autarch> Even if he launches successfully, he'll still be in debt when he comes back down to earth
<impdentist> he's talking about his experience in armageddon
<sideshowraheem> this is like when Tom Cruise showed up in Tropic Thunder
<Ampersand_> i can't believe this is another Unbreakable sequel. what a twist
<AstroDonna> oh what if this is part of the armageddon universe
<AstroDonna> maybe a prequel?
<autarch> challenger
<trebbers> Fucking noob
<sideshowraheem> "it's the one where Steve Buscemi got space madness"
<AstroDonna> or, what if it's after armageddon, but it's like sixth sense and bruce is dead and doesn't get it
<besoin> dog dick
<astrorat> if the rocket is a rockin dont come a knockin
<sideshowraheem> man Willis is a real cut up
<trebbers> Real beer in that bottle
<Ampersand_> Bruce looks digitally inserted
<lhs> el gringo loco
<AstroDonna> bruce probably would only come on for a few days
<dan2> translates to "please let me see my family"
<AstroDonna> and green screened his shit
<impdentist> that's pretty good
<sideshowraheem> yeah definitely the best one so far
<AstroDonna> i think his wife is the other woman
<autarch> is the latino guy their slave?
<dan2> it took 200,000 Coors cans, but it was worth it
<astrorat> that laugh
<sideshowraheem> there are multiple Bruces sleepwalking through this movie
<trebbers> HA HA HA HA HA
<Shalabi> god there's an hour left
<Ampersand_> yup, time for another drink
<Shalabi> 30 minutes of it better be moon walking
<lhs> he laughs like satan in a jack chick tract
<sideshowraheem> I feel like this has some pacing problems
<astrorat> this movie should've been called TWO BRUCES
<dan2> I feel like with that amount of runtime he has to make it to the moon, right?
<sideshowraheem> Two Bruces one bad end
<Ampersand_> or die tryin
<AstroDonna> oh dear god woman stand up for yourself
<autarch> imagine having to shoot multiple takes of any of these scenes
<astrorat> what if he does die and the movie turns out to be pro-government
<autarch> it will have redeemed itself
<astrorat> its amazing to think of all the weird airstreams filled with stuff like this in the real world
<bbm> wait i didn't know bruce willis is in this
<besoin> they don't let civilians go up into outer space
<AstroDonna> bruce has a point
<bbm> was that announced
<besoin> proto-musk
<dan2> space is our GOD GIVEN SOVEREIGN LAND DAMMIT
<sideshowraheem> the only musk is him stinking from rocket fuel in bed
<lhs> microsoft flight simulator gave him all the training he needs
<trebbers> Wait that's on the table
<AstroDonna> how's that on the table?
<sideshowraheem> they're gonna kill him like that teacher lady
<Ampersand_> okay movie over
<bbm> suicide
<dan2> for a bunch of ASTROLOGY CLASSES I bet
<besoin> oh gosh
<astrorat> this entire movie was just made to team up bbt and bruce willis again
<trebbers> this farmer is disrupting the space industry with one weird trick
<astrorat> but reverse their roles
<astrorat> from armageddon
<bbm> hahahaa
<bbm> this is gonna be a courtroom drama now?
<astrorat> thats a gym aactually
<impdentist> well not technically
<bbm> yea true
<besoin> who are these people
<sideshowraheem> Tim Blake Nelson borrowed his suit from an NBA draft pick from this time
<Ampersand_> judas
<bbm> free throws for dibs
<astrorat> its the FAA
<AstroDonna> oh my god, the review on IMDB: There are many layers to this movie that haven't been written about on this site. More like frustration and negativity seem to fuel these message boards. Cynicism is alive and well.
<lhs> they're going to fuck up the floor with their shoes
<bbm> LOL
<trebbers> Back to School esque
<besoin> just launch from another country
<bbm> hahha
<Ampersand_> expecting a tall jar of Granny's Peach Tea to show up
<AstroDonna> The knit-pickers can make a nice lint blindfold if they choose not to see this movie for what it is: entertainment. Like Spielberg, Capra and many others
<autarch> god i hate this
<AstroDonna> Capra
<dan2> I love how much I hate this
<impdentist> they got the head of the FAA here?
<bbm> this is the worst movie ever
<sideshowraheem> a potted plant, hey man that's an easier way to get to space bro
<AstroDonna> this movie grossed $10M on a $13M budget, all of which feels like too much
<trebbers> ...
<bbm> ohhhh
<bbm> hoooo
<besoin> didn't really get that quip
<sideshowraheem> lol they invaded iraq for no reason
<besoin> oh i see
<astrorat> yeah
<astrorat> its a bush joke
<billybob511> "No, that's Charlize Theron."
<lhs> he is indeed building a white man's dream
<bbm> oh man
<AstroDonna> 2006: a wannabe farmer astronaut farmer blew himself up
<AstroDonna> we insured that
<bbm> the CPS too!!
<autarch> only WMD in this room *grabs crotch* is right here
<dan2> lol donna
<AstroDonna> this woman has a point
<AstroDonna> a lot of points
<bbm> uhh
<astrorat> this woman should be protagonist
<bbm> that's not how CPS is
<bbm> thats like aggro CPS
<besoin> we're not even halfway through
<autarch> god
<autarch> he sounds exactly like hank hill
<autarch> how is this so slow
<AstroDonna> tbf he always sounds like hank hill
<sideshowraheem> I'll kick your ass into space I tell you hwhat
<trebbers> ahahah
<Ampersand_> a colonel of truth
<astrorat> lol
<bbm> and he needs to work on his lowercase script writing
<Ampersand_> wish i was that kid
<bbm> hahaha
<autarch> wtf
<sideshowraheem> best gag of the movie
<bbm> space rice?
<autarch> 69
<impdentist> "now that just doesn't seem possible to me"
<autarch> spiced rice
<astrorat> the rocket should be named MOON 69
<autarch> it's NAWT
<sideshowraheem> "I have constructed a sound stage in my barn"
<impdentist> i mean... yeah
<autarch> it's 'naut. ASTRO naut
<AstroDonna> jesus christ
<sideshowraheem> oh gimme that libertarian shit, right to my veins
<besoin> imagine the trump tweets about this
<bbm> here we go
<bbm> fuck me
<dan2> play this soundclip at the libertarian presidential nomiation debate and you will win on the spot
<AstroDonna> goddamn special snowflakes
<AstroDonna> millenials are ruining hte housing industry by trying to build rockets fueled with avocado
<sideshowraheem> what the FUCK are you talking about
<astrorat> wow
<astrorat> MR. FARMER GOES TO THE GYM AND MEETS WITH FAA GUYS
<dan2> "so please, let me fly this rocket I made in my garage with my 15 year old over this town"
<bbm> "i can't LIEEEEE"
<autarch> YES
<autarch> YESSSS
<bbm> "im kicking my own ass do you mind???"
<astrorat> "you're the threat"
<sideshowraheem> oh hell yeah, get him bureaucrat
<dan2> you know its the free thinkers that they're REALLY afraid of
<AstroDonna> what's the time?
<besoin> i mean, they control the airspace
<trebbers> ahah
<impdentist> hang on whwat
<bbm> space time
<sideshowraheem> oh hell yeah!
<autarch> what are they talking about? there's so many laws against this.
<dan2> 48:20
<sideshowraheem> the FAA killed MLK
<autarch> probably.
<AstroDonna> k
<billybob511> Federal Assassination Agency
<sideshowraheem> you heard it here first
<astrorat> that rocket ride looked like a dick and balls
<dan2> lol raheem
<besoin> remember when this guy took ferris's car out
<autarch> declined
<autarch> so predictable
<bbm> jlaw's first role
<impdentist> i sort of thought that too
<astrorat> this is genuinely sad
<dan2> "sorry, my husband had to buy $50,000 of rocket fuel from a guy in a bar"
<bbm> piano of starvation
<impdentist> is it actually
<astrorat> her husband is killing their family
<dan2> its amazing
<sideshowraheem> she's taking out a 12th mortgage for groceries
<lhs> think of all the food they'll be able to grow on the moon though
<dan2> I think the worse a person the hero of the movie is, the more I enjoy it
<autarch> light him up
<autarch> get him
<Ampersand_> the brick is their new dad
<bbm> private?
<bbm> hmm
<autarch> get him
<besoin> she thought he had 100s of thousands of dollars
<Shalabi> I kinda want her to Reginald Denny him
<autarch> "i don't wanna talk about it"
<bbm> if we bring in enough bricks, we can build our own home
<besoin> eesh, shalabi
<Ampersand_> if only they grew food
<sideshowraheem> he's gonna do Homer's Under the Sea song but for space
<bbm> are they rations??
<lhs> he's just going to the moon for a pack of cigarettes
<Shalabi> sorry!
<AstroDonna> what'd she think was gonna happen?
<bbm> please be rations
<bbm> HAHAHHAAH
<trebbers> "Space ice cream!!!!"
<autarch> space food?
<impdentist> did that just say "SPACE FOOD" on the box
<autarch> jesus fucking christ
<Ampersand_> this man is insane
<sideshowraheem> wait
<Ampersand_> ahahahahaha
<besoin> you want dippin' dots?!
<Shalabi> this is disturbing
<autarch> please get divorced
<sideshowraheem> his name is Sheppard Farmer?
<bbm> oh man
<dan2> "I TOLD you woman, I'll be bringing back all the cheese we can eat!"
<billybob511> So many boxes of Tang.
<bbm> too many fucking puns
<AstroDonna> i mwan
<sideshowraheem> finally she smartens up
<bbm> but not the moon right
<bbm> she's gonna apologize
<autarch> "You wanna see FLYING SAUCERS?" *rips off shirt to reveal huge flying saucer-like nipples*
<impdentist> "salmon with white sauce is my least favorite"
<bbm> she was way out of line
<trebbers> The time for this convo was before marriage, maybe
<bbm> hahhaha here we go
<besoin> time to call candyman
<bbm> haha
<AstroDonna> is her name audi
<AstroDonna> but those moons, they're out of this world
<impdentist> attention: we are HALF WAY THROUGH
<AstroDonna> i love them more
<AstroDonna> nooooooooo
<dan2> "I love you more than anything, other than my rocket that will almost certainly kill me"
<Ampersand_> brutal
<trebbers> fucking god
<sideshowraheem> "you're an idiot"
<astrorat> its insane that we dont know what the wife's name is
<autarch> holy shit
<astrorat> and we're halfway through the movie
<dan2> Mrs. Farmer
<sideshowraheem> it's only his second wife that matters
<impdentist> this is a little too close to "harvest moon"
<autarch> this is the worst fucking movie I have ever seen
<besoin> audie murphy farmer
<AstroDonna> no it's not
<AstroDonna> bicentennial man
<trebbers> I think that's her first name
<autarch> can we watch bicentennial man?
<dan2> Bicentenial Man had a kind spirit at least
<impdentist> "not church, audie!"
<sideshowraheem> this is kinda like bicentennial man in a way
<AstroDonna> take that back
<autarch> bi milennial man
<AstroDonna> no it's rocket man
<impdentist> totally forgot about bruce dern
<sideshowraheem> it's the opposite of bicentennial man in a way because at the end Billy Bob wil lbecome metal
<dan2> all I'm saying donna, is that I'd rather have Bicentenial Man as my dad rather than Astronaut Farmer
<Shalabi> this guy is an enabler
<bbm> time?
<AstroDonna> that's a real sophie's choice dan
<impdentist> 5430
<autarch> god this is so bad
<astrorat> dreams dont pay the bills pops
<sideshowraheem> Dern is sitting in the same chair as hateful eight
<trebbers> This guy is sly, breaking them up with his fingerprints on it
<trebbers> just encourage the dad
<impdentist> oh no bruce no
<dan2> I truly have been laughing 90% of the runtime
<besoin> rising action
<billybob511> Red Bull Presents a Crazy Man's Death
<sideshowraheem> oh my fucking god
<lhs> but sometimes dreams ... are nightmares
<Shalabi> THE FREE MARKET WILL PROVIDE
<impdentist> there's no dunkin donuts in texas
<astrorat> the dunkin donuts rocket
<besoin> lots of dunkin donuts in rural texas
<AstroDonna> dear god
<impdentist> "then people will have heard about dunkin donuts!"
<autarch> he's selling out to corporations. this is so shameless
<AstroDonna> this movie is setting records for how many times i say dear god
<besoin> farmer runs on dunkin'
<astrorat> the manure farmer
<sideshowraheem> I think she was in No Country for Old Men, this really is a coen's cast
<billybob511> Oh, a Smell of Success crossover.
<Shalabi> so these local minimum wage managers make decisions on product placement?
<bbm> can i get time again?
<dan2> special promotianal donuts sprinkled with BBT's ashes
<sideshowraheem> 56:30
<bbm> ok
<autarch> There's no way in hell this guy frequents enough places of business to have personal relationships with all of them
<AstroDonna> what in the fuck
<billybob511> My kitchen table on T-Mobile Tuesdays
<impdentist> they are gonna subsist on donuts now
<impdentist> OMG NO
<astrorat> hes dead
<besoin> dead i'm afraid
<astrorat> omg
<trebbers> ahahahah
<AstroDonna> oh fuck he's dead
<astrorat> lol
<Shalabi> the family food problems are solved!
<AstroDonna> oh der
<autarch> please be dead
<trebbers> TOO SooON
<sideshowraheem> oh my fucking god
<autarch> SQUIRREL!!!
<bbm> definitely dead
<Shalabi> this is horrible
<besoin> grampa no wake up
<impdentist> unbelievable
<sideshowraheem> he's just like squirrel!
<sideshowraheem> dammit autarch
<autarch> I'm still reeling from squirrel's death
<billybob511> Like three days of homeschooling, and she's reverted to barely intelligible.
<trebbers> Dunkin Day ruined
<trebbers> ahh
<besoin> od'd on x
<AstroDonna> this woman is having a bad life
<lhs> bury him in donut boxes
<sideshowraheem> unlike squirrel dern wasn't the best character in this movie
<Shalabi> died doing what he loved, going into hypoglycemia from eating too many donuts
<astrorat> hes going to take grampa's dead body in the rocket
<autarch> that was so unnecessary
<astrorat> guaranteed
<besoin> off to white sands
<sideshowraheem> now this is turning into As I Lay Dying
<impdentist> wait who is the best character in this movie
<autarch> I didn't even realize he was their grandpa
<bbm> resurrected on a rocket
<impdentist> jk simmons i guess
<dan2> is that steel drum?
<autarch> jk simmons
<sideshowraheem> the son is gonna burn down the rocket barn
<astrorat> lot of john ford worship in this
<autarch> some gentle dads
<impdentist> steel drum?? billy bob should grab it for his rocket
<besoin> so did he get the rocket fuel or not
<AstroDonna> oh we time traveled to 1865
<impdentist> what happened to this movie
<autarch> this is like robert ashley
<AstroDonna> this is some legends of the fall shit
<sideshowraheem> the FBI guys are carrying the coffin?
<sideshowraheem> this seems completely tonally off
<impdentist> this narration makes no sense
<AstroDonna> i love lamp
<dan2> some interesting hats on these dunkin donuts employees
<astrorat> terrence malick directed that part
<AstroDonna> audience surrogat
<trebbers> "Billy, for the next take, can we do less energy"
<autarch> "Well Im just a dumb ole hick"
<dan2> "I dunno, one of these people I have do all the work for me"
<besoin> maybe wait until after the funeral
<bbm> huh
<dan2> wow
<astrorat> omg
<autarch> jesus
<sideshowraheem> jesus
<bbm> that's not
<autarch> what the fuck
<dan2> "that would be me"
<bbm> that's not how you do things
<besoin> cliven bundy watched this during his siege
<autarch> he's so toxic
<trebbers> Pay your fucking bills, dick
<lhs> "you wanna play easter egg hunt for my dead dad?"
<besoin> didn't the govt nix his fuel purchase?
<astrorat> hes gonna use manure?
<dan2> BBT is nearing the top of the most hateable shitflix character
<impdentist> this 15 year old is way too old to be buying this
<astrorat> he's powering his rocket with poo
<AstroDonna> for the last hour i forgot bbt was billy bob and not hte bank
<impdentist> little known fact: all of your debts reset every time you get to space
<AstroDonna> okay, again, how does luanching the rocket handle the house
<sideshowraheem> they had to kill Bruce Dern because he was the only person getting screentime without 3 names
<impdentist> haha raheem
<astrorat> there's an old law from 1791 that says if any american gets into space they get to keep their house
<AstroDonna> she calls him by his last name?
<astrorat> only libertarians know this
<autarch> there's no debt in space because it debt needs to travel through matter and the matter is not dense enough in space for there to be debt
<besoin> field of the audience's screams
<astrorat> hes never told her about his dad?
<impdentist> i have no idea what i hope or happens, or even what a viewer is supposed to hope happens
<AstroDonna> foreshadowing
<astrorat> so this is generational
<astrorat> generational toxicity from familial trauma
<bbm> this is like lacing up for the final half of the basketball game
<bbm> weird edit there
<Ampersand_> hereditary degeneration
<dan2> dad killing himself was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me, that's why I have to lauch myself into space in front of my kids with this homade rocket
<trebbers> 40 minutes left
<Shalabi> he's halfway the moon(/hell)
<Ampersand_> lol
<besoin> wow
<trebbers> woah
<astrorat> what
<autarch> what the fuck
<impdentist> what
<bbm> HAHHAA
<trebbers> fuck yes do it die
<sideshowraheem> wow he almost killed his wife
<Ampersand_> wow
<autarch> holy fucking hell
<sideshowraheem> or least seriously hurt her
<autarch> please die
<Shalabi> gotta be a dream sequence
<Ampersand_> i think i woke up my neighbors with my laugh
<sideshowraheem> yeah dream for sure
<impdentist> wait is this real
<Shalabi> lol
<astrorat> WHAT
<AstroDonna> amazing
<bbm> incredible clip
<Shalabi> WHAT
<bbm> this is the funniest thing ive ever seen
<dan2> my fucking ribs hurt
<trebbers> 10 counts of homicide if he lives
<dan2> DAMN
<sideshowraheem> space available was a good gag
<lhs> this is a road runner cartoon
<Ampersand_> LOL
<impdentist> the cgi is really terrible
<autarch> imagine being the cgi guy and the director is like "this is what we need you to make"
<bbm> its a fucking wiley e coyote clip
<Ampersand_> every dollar on screen
<astrorat> HOLY SHIT
<bbm> haha lhs
<Shalabi> gonna need about 50 more mortgages to pay for that
<AstroDonna> rest of the movie is sam waterson trying him for neglegent homicide
<AstroDonna> lenny briscoe shows up
<sideshowraheem> wait this isn't a dream?
<autarch> that was so awesome
<dan2> like...I was positive that was a nightmare sequence that the wife was having
<Shalabi> uh
<astrorat> how is that not a dream
<bbm> i figured it had to be a dream
<dan2> until it actually happened
<AstroDonna> was that fucking real?
<sideshowraheem> yeah there was no way that wasn't the wife's dream
<autarch> if all he gets is a little booboo on his head then that is so fucked up
<besoin> gonna be one long gif, dan
<autarch> he needs to be dead
<AstroDonna> what in the hell
<Shalabi> cinema magic, folks!
<bbm> hahahahaha
<lhs> indiana jones survived in the fridge
<besoin> my lord
<autarch> no
<Ampersand_> the cabin was made of fridge material
<AstroDonna> oh my god
<autarch> you don't get to survive
<trebbers> "Need....Dunkin"
<AstroDonna> this movie got really fucking dark
<autarch> i can't believe that wasn't a dream
<astrorat> THAT WASNT A DREAM????
<dan2> "uh are you telling me what I CAN'T do woman??"
<impdentist> IT WASN'T A DREAM IT REALLY HAPPENED
<bbm> i have to say
<trebbers> two drips in the shot
<lhs> he gets sectioned and meets kpax
<bbm> this movie did surprise me
<dan2> 10 minute dream sequence
<bbm> in that the dumbest part wasn't a dream
<Ampersand_> one could say he was living his dream
<autarch> how the hell is he going to afford more fuel
<billybob511> "...is there any GOOD news?"
<autarch> "I asked for good news"
<astrorat> what is the rest of this movie gonna be
<AstroDonna> oh my god
<besoin> i'm sure the hospital bills will be affordable
<AstroDonna> yeah this will really help the debt problem
<impdentist> it's gonna turn into million dollar baby
<trebbers> Spent 500 on that fucking ride
<autarch> 2 deaths in 10 minutes would be awesome though
<sideshowraheem> oh right this is america so his family is going to be more bankrupt
<dan2> Story, Texas
<dan2> good god
<lhs> don't all babies cost a million dollars eventually
<AstroDonna> these kids are going to spend a lot on therapy
<bbm> mother and daughter hitting the bar
<Shalabi> he's on so much morphine that he thinks he's in space!
<autarch> pull the plug, shepherd
<AstroDonna> her daughter is named stanley?
<astrorat> yeah
<astrorat> sounds like it
<astrorat> stanley farmer
<AstroDonna> that's...a choice
<lhs> stan lee
<sideshowraheem> The Book of Astronaut Farmer
<bbm> "i want to learn to ride spaceships"
<astrorat> i still cant believe that rocket scene happened
<sideshowraheem> leafs instruction on how to assassinate JK Simmons with a rocket
<bbm> oh shit i was just kidding
<sideshowraheem> leaves
<Shalabi> hurt people hurt people
<autarch> what the fuck
<AstroDonna> this man is horrible
<bbm> HAHAHH
<autarch> how can you still be encouraging him
<Shalabi> LOL
<dan2> "all we need is another 5 million dollars and 10 years of you not working on anything else"
<AstroDonna> he should probably die for the betterment of all
<lhs> GOD PEED
<besoin> the daughters are the director's real daughters
<trebbers> Puts up 'god is dead' sign
<impdentist> he rips off his "farmer for president" sticker to reveal the remains of a "dole for president" sticker
<dan2> lol treb
<autarch> should be interesting to see how he comes back from this
<besoin> somehow i think we'll be in the wrong
<astrorat> he's going to space
<astrorat> there's no way he doesn't go to space
<impdentist> were there any copycat astronauts after this
<impdentist> or was it too dumb to influence anyone
<bbm> time?
<astrorat> balloon boy
<dan2> he's gonna flip off the FAA from space
<astrorat> was a copycat
<dan2> 1:10:45
<sideshowraheem> you'd think the physics guy would know enough not to put his rocket where it would blow out all the windows in his house
<impdentist> he's going to the real space, which turns out to be the friends we made along the way
<lhs> his doctor will tell him "you gotta walk before you fly" and then it's 40 mins of physical therapy
<besoin> they returned his rocket?
<autarch> will this movie ever end?
<impdentist> ah see he's fine
<dan2> no way he would not be sued by 500 different people
<Shalabi> so I guess they're losing the house and living in a rocket
<impdentist> wait what's her name? olson?
<impdentist> oh wait is that sunshine
<sideshowraheem> sunshine is the younger one i think
<lhs> alisunshine
<astrorat> this is soe great physical comedy
<besoin> they're stanley and sunshine
<impdentist> and shepherd
<impdentist> and farmer
<autarch> he is so fucked. he is in so much fucking debt. the insane deus ex machina that will be required to solve his problems is going to be OUT OF THIS WORLD.
<impdentist> is that from the back of the box autarch
<besoin> trump is going to write him a check from his foundation
<autarch> haha
<besoin> the dad sure was loaded
<sideshowraheem> Trump would give him a $150 credit at Trump university
<impdentist> dern ex machina
<Ampersand_> "oh, an a fully functioning rocket ship"
<autarch> there it is
<trebbers> "I'd have killed him years ago if I knew all that"
<Shalabi> great
<AstroDonna> doesn't he owe $600K?
<Shalabi> happy ending I guess
<besoin> if only it were over
<lhs> he's going to break into area 51 and steal an experimental aircraft
<impdentist> they just have that shit on their lawn??
<besoin> bruce willis will land the space shuttle in his yard
<lhs> the last egg is in dead grandpa's mouth
<autarch> there's no fucking way he's walking right now
<besoin> the mother must have a time machine
<besoin> #noworries
<astrorat> HOWD HE GET HIS WINDOW REPLACED SO FAST
<besoin> so this is an anti inheritance tax film
<AstroDonna> no worries, your husband just forced you to use all that damn money you had to save your family
<AstroDonna> oh no no no
<Ampersand_> finally
<bbm> time again
<trebbers> Rocket madness
<astrorat> they have a pond?
<sideshowraheem> yikes
<Ampersand_> 1:16:10
<trebbers> what man doesn't say
<besoin> texas and its famous fall colors
<AstroDonna> take my wife please
<lhs> oh he's had malaria the entire time
<astrorat> its april?
<Ampersand_> 1:16:25
<impdentist> this is an abrup about face
<autarch> she wants him to kill himself
<impdentist> abrupt
<dan2> "and so I'm sure they're fine with us selling the house"
<impdentist> "you have life insurance right"
<astrorat> oh god
<astrorat> dont do this audie
<Shalabi> my god what
<sideshowraheem> she's addicted to insurance money now
<Shalabi> uhhh
<autarch> haha
<dan2> the saddest movie we've done
<impdentist> it's just a paper bag of cash?
<astrorat> lol
<astrorat> this music
<Shalabi> space music!
<Ampersand_> The Space Enablers
<autarch> more gentle dads
<AstroDonna> wait am i tripping?
<billybob511> As the original that nearly killed him?
<besoin> i guess the hospital stay was free
<Ampersand_> turns out he has brain worms and can't go to space, RIP
<autarch> BBT x emeralds
<lhs> he paid them in beefs
<besoin> rocky IV reference there
<AstroDonna> he's sill pissing money away on that thing?
<lhs> still blowing $500 a month on the ride
<dan2> 0.00005 G training
<impdentist> augh
<besoin> *groan*
<trebbers> COFFIN II
<dan2> lol
<lhs> REAMER
<Ampersand_> oxygen will last 3x longer than needed. his children's food supply will run out in 3 weeks
<lhs> oh
<impdentist> hey apollo 14 went well right
<autarch> god can you imagine the farts BBT is gonna rip in that tiny capsule?
<dan2> THE DEADER
<besoin> angelina jolie really dodged a bullet here
<autarch> I did see on the box that it was called "The Dreamer" but I thought that was such a good detail that I didn't want to spoil it
<sideshowraheem> I mean blowing your brains out because of debt is kinda giving up
<astrorat> this is making me think of a new category of film
<astrorat> unintentional tragedies
<impdentist> these guys are doing a bad job if they have no idea this is coming
<AstroDonna> dad blew hsi brains out, bbt is gonna blow his whole self up
<autarch> these guys
<Ampersand_> on the fuckin nose
<astrorat> lol the ringtone
<sideshowraheem> real subtle
<lhs> only as subtle as their fake mustaches
<impdentist> oh it's not him huh
<autarch> "Suspect is a big-dicked asian male"
<besoin> so he's evading arrest
<dan2> gonna get his son arrested for his sake
<sideshowraheem> they're weekend at bernie'sing Bruce Dern
<trebbers> This guy is going to jail too
<dan2> "not all in one piece of course"
<impdentist> everyone involved in this deserves to go to jail
<autarch> the dreamer
<autarch> this is so bad
<dan2> both in the film's story and in the actual making of this, you mean dentist
<lhs> are we supposed to be rooting for him?
<impdentist> is their plan just to drive behind him the entire time and not try to actually stop him
<AstroDonna> that doesn't seem to be true
<lhs> i honestly can't tell
<autarch> the cops are gonna get incinerated by the rocket
<trebbers> "Whatever happens, I'll have a killer college admissions essay"
<besoin> successful launch also clears his legal problems
<astrorat> jeeeesus
<Ampersand_> you've broken my bank, spare my heart
<sideshowraheem> where's the fuckin dunkin ad
<impdentist> it's gonna be bruce willis
<trebbers> Bruce Dern is alive?!
<besoin> nice
<impdentist> OH NO
<AstroDonna> he should probably hustle, they' reabout to figure him out
<trebbers> NO
<besoin> sacrifice pepe
<sideshowraheem> of course
<AstroDonna> WHAT
<Shalabi> oof
<impdentist> he's gonna get deported wtf
<autarch> NO
<astrorat> he used his mexican hand
<AstroDonna> no don't do that to him
<sideshowraheem> they're going to deport him
<autarch> THE ONLY GOOD GUY
<billybob511> He just got his only friend deportted.
<AstroDonna> he's gonna get deported
<Shalabi> that is horrible
<sideshowraheem> Billy Bob is a monster
<AstroDonna> twhat the tufkc fufk this movie
<AstroDonna> i hope they all burn in hell
<lhs> deported into space
<dan2> I thought he was gonna be the mission control guy!
<autarch> They've made him so expendable
<dan2> jesus fucking christ
<Shalabi> I don't like this movie
<autarch> Couldn't be more unrealistic. he'd be shot as hell.
<sideshowraheem> well they thought he was white
<besoin> i hope a patriot missile hits him
<dan2> these are officially the most monsterous protagonists in Movie Series history
<dan2> at least the Soul Man learned a lesson in the end
Last edited by Ampersand on Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 22, 2018 11:59 pm

Code: Select all
<Ampersand_> wow we've broken the chat again with this movie
<autarch> COPS! FREEZE!
<dan2> I saved the first half
<trebbers> ahah
<astrorat> YES
<besoin> incinerates all his cows
<trebbers> wire vision
<dan2> WE HAVE LIFTOFF
<Shalabi> the whole barn lifts off
<impdentist> i thought the countdown was supposed to be like pretty exact
<Ampersand_> excellent. good thinking, dan
<autarch> i thought the whole barn was gonna blast off.
<impdentist> they're not like watching it
<sideshowraheem> is he going to blow out all his windows again?
<autarch> cut off all communication now
<trebbers> ah
<sideshowraheem> oh great that joke(?) again
<astrorat> IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A GIANT
<autarch> it would probably be so loud they'd be deaf
<astrorat> HOT DOG
<impdentist> what is with the recurring dick joke from the other waitress
<astrorat> GET YOUR HOT DOG
<impdentist> AH
<astrorat> lol
<Ampersand_> "shoot it down"
<besoin> need a gif of that, dan
<dan2> "It looks like a giant...BILLY"
<autarch> lol the pixelated image of earth in the background
<Shalabi> oh god Russia nukes America
<trebbers> "How do I land?"
<AstroDonna> i might hate this more than bicentennial man
<autarch> THEEEEEEEEEEEE dreamer
<impdentist> this is all gonna be a dying hallucination
<Ampersand_> give me bicentennial man any day
<AstroDonna> maybe this is a jacob's ladder sitch and he died in the first attempt
<impdentist> is that supposed to happen
<autarch> bewwwwwww
<besoin> this isn't the moon
<sideshowraheem> this movie only feels like it's 200 years long
<AstroDonna> i've aged 200 yaers
<Ampersand_> successful shepherding
<sideshowraheem> his name being Sheppard Farmer will never stop being insane
<impdentist> damn it forgot my sunglasses
<AstroDonna> i mean his daughter is stanley shepard
<dan2> Sheppard Farmer, from Story Texas
<autarch> oh. i get it. like ALAN SHEPHERD
<lhs> his cell phone bill is going to be insane
<trebbers> Capsule lands in North Korea
<Ampersand_> praying he experiences an Event Horizon
<autarch>  should've named him Yuri, am i right/
<billybob511> He could have just paid Branson or someone a fraction of what he put into this whole thing, right?
<besoin> the vanilla place
<Ampersand_> "and they said i africam
<Ampersand_> n't
<Ampersand_> fuck
<AstroDonna> oh no sequel
<AstroDonna> he's gonna take the whole farmer family
<billybob511> "Elon, let me drive the Roadster."
<astrorat> i wanna know whos fave movie this is
<dan2> no way
<besoin> nice zero gravity effects
<AstroDonna> farmers in space
<AstroDonna> astrorat check the imdb page
<autarch> this would be totally unnecessary today, what with VR and all.
<AstroDonna> very passionate defenses
<impdentist> oh no they're gonna crack the glass
<astrorat> COLLISION COURSE
<autarch> please collide
<besoin> slams into the cnn satellite
<impdentist> oh no he's gonna get picked up by the space police
<impdentist> that seems like way too close a call
<dan2> "I'll be DAMNED if they tell me I HAVE to move out of their orbit"
<autarch> hacked by aliens
<sideshowraheem> ok if there were aleins all of a sudden the movie would be redeemed
<lhs> mom remarries instantly
<besoin> well, no, he's on the other side of the earth
<impdentist> ah welp
<astrorat> thats a nightmare
<autarch> ah shit, forgot about batteries
<AstroDonna> it worked otu fine for apollo 13
<sideshowraheem> Abobllo Thornteen
<autarch> lol raheem
<lhs> heh
<impdentist> well done
<Shalabi> sweaty, but I like it
<impdentist> daylight is way longer than that in texas in late may
<lhs> when is he going to the moon though
<AstroDonna> guess they didn't think of everything
<autarch> wasn't it just supposed to be one orbit?
<autarch> what a dumbass
<dan2> "now of course Dad never trusted public school to teach me math, so this all may be off"
<Shalabi> "here take this insurance money and build another rocket to delivery him oxygen"
<autarch> lol
<AstroDonna> this is an awful thing to do to your son
<impdentist> i think doing one orbit was hinging on him having controls that work
<dan2> anf family
<dan2> and community
<astrorat> theyre really dragging this out
<dan2> and guy who worked for you for years
<besoin> sure
<besoin> that circuit board is controlling the power
<autarch> this simple trick lets you do one orbit every time
<trebbers> oh that's it
<astrorat> hotwired
<impdentist> ah of course, forgot about that
<AstroDonna> thats...it?
<lhs> boost your own capsule
<AstroDonna> so he forgot to plug stuff in?
<sideshowraheem> man the FAA were really stupid to try and stop this guy who very nearly killed himself twice
<autarch> can you hear me major tom
<dan2> literally punching his daughter
<impdentist> ah
<astrorat> omg
<autarch> his promise ring
<trebbers> screenwriting!
<AstroDonna> aha fuck you movie
<sideshowraheem> holy guacamole
<sideshowraheem> this is the corniest fucking shit
<autarch> His Purity Ring.
<besoin> welp, i guess all the oxygen just left his suit
<sideshowraheem> ilovitz
<Ampersand_> wow he's never had sex
<AstroDonna> everyone associated with this movie should die
<dan2> genuinely impressive how this has managed to get stupider for over 90 minutes
<besoin> baja
<astrorat> the oxygen is in the cabin actually
<AstroDonna> wait no
<impdentist> i think there's oxygen in the cabin
<astrorat> he opened his mask earlier
<AstroDonna> he lost his ringin the FIRST rocket
<besoin> yeah, but also in his suit
<AstroDonna> which crashed
<besoin> and he needed all he could get
<astrorat> i dont know why hes wearing the suit
<AstroDonna> how the fuck did it get in the second rocket
<autarch> he said the title?
<dan2> usually there are highs and lows, with this the graph goes straigt up
<sideshowraheem> it's chef?
<autarch> lol
<autarch> god this cgi rules
<Ampersand_> what a stupid life goal
<dan2> my favorite Civ IV cutscene
<astrorat> if he lands right in his driveway
<autarch> haha
<astrorat> i swear to god
<autarch> dan
<billybob511> Very safe to have a piece of metal rattling around while flying at 25K mph.
<autarch> jesus fucking christ he is dropping like a rock
<AstroDonna> i still want to know how the fuck the ring got in his second rocket
<impdentist> this seems like it will not be a good landing
<autarch> no way he survives
<sideshowraheem> I always fucked this up in kerbal space program
<Ampersand_> lol
<besoin> boy, rough landing
<trebbers> Taliban surround the capsule
<impdentist> gets eaten by coyotes
<billybob511> Curious cow moo
<sideshowraheem> don't they usually land in water?
<autarch> blood rushes to his head and he dies
<dan2> now for the final touch: irradiating his entire family
<AstroDonna> aww yeah there should have been a cow
<sideshowraheem> because it's less likely to fuckin kill you
<besoin> jesus
<dan2> *audience begins clapping*
<Ampersand_> worth every penny
<trebbers> The rocket fuel has probably given them cancer already
<AstroDonna> takes helmet off, has aged 20 years
<sideshowraheem> he's in mexico and see his deported servant
<impdentist> he's in utah, it takes his son two days tot reach him
<autarch> lol dan2 it happened when i saw seabiscuit in the theater
<besoin> time to check his bank account balance
<AstroDonna> i hate this movie
<Ampersand_> apes on horses ride up on him
<lhs> i'm past 100,000 minutes / i'm feeling very ill
<trebbers> Fart
<Ampersand_> by home he means space
<besoin> how was the moon
<autarch> this is so bad
<AstroDonna> i feel so bad for the son
<autarch> i hate this movie so much
<dan2> "wasn't as good as the carnival ride I gotta say"
<AstroDonna> that kid is gonna have serious dad issues
<sideshowraheem> he's just coated in a space radiation
<impdentist> that's gonna be it isn't it
<impdentist> NO
<astrorat> weird movie
<lhs> haha dan
<sideshowraheem> man that sucked ass
<autarch> god damnit
<sideshowraheem> AHAHAHAA
<Shalabi> fuck
<AstroDonna> oh my god FUCK FUCKFFUCK YOU
<besoin> there goes the budget
<dan2> HE GETS A PARADE
<astrorat> lmao
<trebbers> it's still goin
<AstroDonna> this cost fucking $13M
<autarch> of course it's this song
<dan2> un FUCKING real
<sideshowraheem> Elton deserves better than this
<autarch> still never really figured out the year
<trebbers> More jAY
<sideshowraheem> JAY
<autarch> leno agagin?
<besoin> fuck us up, leno
<AstroDonna> elton doesn't care, he made $
<dan2> Forrest Fyre
<trebbers> forrest fyre
<AstroDonna> charlie's gonna have a behind the space suit episode on vh1
<autarch> haha
<AstroDonna> about how the fame destroyed his life
<autarch> lenos fucking face
<autarch> baloney
<impdentist> whoa the fbi agent was uncle rico
<dan2> "Well, I'm the most entitled person in the history of humankind"
<sideshowraheem> I feel like Billy can barely stomach a regular talk show appearance
<sideshowraheem> he's in total contempt here
<autarch> imagine having to be the actual live studio audience for this bit
<sideshowraheem> "I almost died twice"
<autarch> and having to force laughter, pretending this was real
<Shalabi> heeyuck
<autarch> this is a really long interview
<Ampersand_> that did not answer the question
<AstroDonna> this is .... offenseive
<Ampersand_> aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
<besoin> hit the desk again, leno
<astrorat> OMG
<sideshowraheem> oh my fucking god
<AstroDonna> oh my god god god
<Shalabi> jesus
<impdentist> every movie should have the lead character being interviewed by jay leno over the end credits
<autarch> fuck
<billybob511> For what it's worth, the other FBI agent is the director's twin.
<Shalabi> the contempt for government
<dan2> head is buried in my hands
<Ampersand_> shoot it into the sun
<autarch> i actually like the song
<trebbers> This was a movie
<astrorat> just the weirdest movie
<AstroDonna> i'm laughing like a crazy person
<sideshowraheem> I guess they couldn't get the rights for space oddity
<autarch> OH no no no
<AstroDonna> why wasn't matthew macanaughey in this?
<billybob511> So if you want a mental picture to go along with the hate.
<dan2> this was, and I never thought I'd say this, more offensive than Patch Adams
<impdentist> this movie was almost literally made by a cop
<sideshowraheem> that's a good point donna this is a very mid 2000s McAnaughy movie
<AstroDonna> yeah, i agree dan
<autarch> god this was the worst thing ever
<Ampersand_> you say that
<impdentist> i mean at least the astronaut farmer was mostly only toying with his own life
<autarch> the photos during the credits make it seem like it was based on a true story
<Ampersand_> but CLOUD 9 on THURSDAY!
<Ampersand_> night all
<besoin> who the hell
<dan2> wait who is that
<impdentist> there's him with some other guy
<autarch> who careas
<impdentist> that's one of the martians he met
<sideshowraheem> that's just some guy in a cowboy hat
<dan2> looked like Amish Dave
<besoin> av material
<autarch> who the fuck cares
<besoin> thought that was whataburger for a sex
<impdentist> that's him with the monolith from 2001
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Postby Shalabi » Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:58 am

i made an alternate ending to the movie

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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:08 pm

Incredible, shalabi
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:13 pm

I hate to distract from it, but we have an important announcement
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Postby donna martin » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:56 pm

having just watched that, i have some questions/concerns:

1) was that the whole movie or a trailer?

2) why dd i have to see neil breen w/o a shirt?

3) can we please discuss that mustache?

4) why does this movie/trailer include a random insert of him harassing some woman?

5) he's stealing the star wars gun noises, right?
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Postby Shalabi » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:57 pm

the green screening, more like meme screening
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Postby donna martin » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:57 pm

Shalabi wrote:i made an alternate ending to the movie



i really wish this had been the ending, right before he collided with a satellite.
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 24, 2018 11:01 am

This Thursday,

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Postby Shalabi » Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:50 pm

I think we should find this

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Postby jalapeño ranch » Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:00 pm

Has Shitflixe ever had a viewing of Rock n' Roll Nightmare?

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Celiac Cruz wrote:This one has no real explanation:
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 1:26 pm

We sure have had that collective rock n roll nightmare.

TONIGHT:

PM me of check the hpn db to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 7:05 pm

bump
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 8:59 pm

1 hour until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:49 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Cloud 9
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https://webchat.freenode.net/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:05 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Cloud 9
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https://webchat.freenode.net/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 26, 2018 11:47 pm

Code: Select all
<Ampersand_> 3
<Ampersand_> 2
<Ampersand_> 1
<ratreynolds> opening beach shot
<ratreynolds> nice
<ratreynolds> very two and a half men
<ratreynolds> "hello mtv, im burt reynolds and this is my crib"
<sideshowraheem> this might be the most generic song ever
<lhs> glancing at the imdb keywords, i misread "sex scene" and "sex in bed" as "sex crime" and "sex is bad"
<besoin> sounds like netflix couldn't get the music rights to an episode of party of five
<ratreynolds> california rules
<sideshowraheem> this is 2006?
<besoin> was scoundrel an imdb keyword
<Treb_Ferguson> OR MOVE OUT
<sideshowraheem> I assumed it was older based on the trailer
<Treb_Ferguson> what
<besoin> it's the limo from die hard
<sideshowraheem> this is a good scam
<Treb_Ferguson> uh
<dan2> living in celebs houses while they're on vacation is a pretty good concept honestly
<ratreynolds> lol
<ratreynolds> how did he know that
<dan2> too bad the rest of the movie won't be about that
<ratreynolds> tasteful
<besoin> very respectful scene inbound
<bob511> Oh
<Treb_Ferguson> fukkkk
<sideshowraheem> I don't like where this is going
<lhs> sigh
<ratreynolds> a racist nursery
<dan2> 2006 was a different time
<Treb_Ferguson> I don't like where it's at
<besoin> didn't learn from breakfast at tiffany's
<dan2> when this was totally acceptable
<ratreynolds> this was post brett ratner
<ratreynolds> you could do this
<Ampersand_> you were *encouraged* to do this
<lhs> so far two of the three characters are based on ruby rhod
<besoin> what on earth
<ratreynolds> costco vince vaughn's racist accent is insane
<Ampersand_> 50 for the salad bar
<dan2> lol
<lhs> transition lenses in a strip bar
<besoin> brooklyn in la
<Ampersand_> "cummy, you mean"
<ratreynolds> this variety of side character is always wild to me
<Treb_Ferguson> wheels turning
<besoin> why did gabrielle reece do this
<bob511> "Dental plan!" "LIsa needs braces!"
<ratreynolds> Epiphany at the Strip Club: The Burt Reynolds Story
<Ampersand_> this definitely happened to the screenwriter
<ratreynolds> holy shit
<besoin> take that, russians
<Ampersand_> HUGO STIGLITZ
<ratreynolds> racist character cards
<Treb_Ferguson> This movie cant require reading
<dan2> hooooo boy
<besoin> oh no
<Treb_Ferguson> owah
<lhs> not a single turn-off for crystal
<Ampersand_> N'Style
<Treb_Ferguson> It's still sweaty
<Ampersand_> lol
<besoin> there was probably a time when he thought cop and a half was rock bottom
<lhs> he used a fighter jet stencil to do his mustache
<Ampersand_> lol lhs
<ratreynolds> lol
<ratreynolds> holy shit the phone line
<Treb_Ferguson> who is that guy in the trailer
<Ampersand_> please don't touch anyone, burt
<ratreynolds> thats jackson
<Ampersand_> omg
<ratreynolds> holy shit
<ratreynolds> toilet fish
<ratreynolds> omg
<sideshowraheem> as dan said him living his day to day scam life is way more interesting than this caper with volleyball
<ratreynolds> im dying
<Ampersand_> the Zubaz pants
<Treb_Ferguson> Landmark film in the freeganism movement
<lhs> how the fuck is gary busey the most reasonable man in this movie
<ratreynolds> oh my fucking god
<Ampersand_> this is a good scene
<dan2> a phrase I've said more times than I can count
<ratreynolds> "these are huge toilet fish for a dog"
<besoin> porn parody dawson here
<ratreynolds> The Volleyball Association
<bob511> Well, someone in this movie's getting a series on UPN, anyway.
<Ampersand_> dudey
<lhs> such a sweet moron
<Ampersand_> porn parody Dawson is one of the leads on The Vampire Diaries, so, close
<bob511> Yeah, I guess technically the CW by then.
<Treb_Ferguson> gonna hear the whole song
<Ampersand_> how is every song this bad
<sideshowraheem> none of these people have ever seen attractive women at a beach in LA before
<dan2> let the bang a hang
<Treb_Ferguson> 'Shake your chocolate maracas'
<lhs> how many do you need for a team
<ratreynolds> jackson fargo
<besoin> jackson played...LINE?...varsity volleyball
<ratreynolds> oh good another stereotype
<besoin> no culture will be spared
<bob511> Oh jesus christ.
<Treb_Ferguson> goddamn
<besoin> more excellent music
<bob511> Fortunately, they had Paul Rodriguez on set to run every gag by for ethnic sensitivity.
<ratreynolds> jesus christ
<besoin> that sound effect
<sideshowraheem> ah literal boing sound effect?
<Ampersand_> she has springs for nipples?
<ratreynolds> BOING
<dan2> don't they all make that sound?
<sideshowraheem> oh shit it's that Koch son
<Ampersand_> Wyatt Koch shirty
<Ampersand_> lololol
<Treb_Ferguson> Crew Darry
<ratreynolds> that shirt is racist
<besoin> yeah, wtf
<ratreynolds> its covered in racist cartoon
<ratreynolds> literally everything in this movie is racist
<Ampersand_> 00s nostalgia is going to be the worst
<lhs> surprised that bonsai tree didn't have buck teeth
<sideshowraheem> honestly this movie seems like it was made on a bet to make the laziest movie
<bob511> They had to form a volleyball team to book a bachelor party?
<ratreynolds> what one arth
<besoin> couldn't have guessed i could feel so bad for dl hughley
<ratreynolds> jesus christ
<sideshowraheem> wouldn't be a movie about strippers without some trans panic
<besoin> unnecessary crane shot
<Ampersand_> i prefer Nice Beach Parties
<sideshowraheem> he actually just can't pronounce Villanch
<ratreynolds> theres like ten people there
<Ampersand_> wow this is sad\
<Ampersand_> what channel does he work for? Noggin?
<lhs> never before seen on a beach in california
<dan2> I think you may have found a movie more offputting than Tomcats, quite impressive amp
<sideshowraheem> this is like less well put together than From Justin to Kelly
<Ampersand_> i wanted to see Tomcats so badly when it was in theaters
<Ampersand_> big Sliders fan
<besoin> we should have known ferris bueller would end up like this
<sideshowraheem> I have a feeling his severe alcohol problem won't be reckoned with
<ratreynolds> UH OH
<ratreynolds> tom cruise???
<ratreynolds> even better
<bob511> Well, close.
<besoin> should have known
<dan2> "the hell...this isn't my house"
<ratreynolds> and THAT is how he booked roseanne
<dan2> this man will bring down Trump don't you forget
<besoin> little sound editing error there
<Ampersand_> little movie error here
<ratreynolds> imagine working your whole life to be an elite volleyball player and then you get asked to be in this movie
<ratreynolds> oh good more racist vince vaughn
<Treb_Ferguson> Weird to make such a thoroughly tasteless movie, but have no nudity
<ratreynolds> there has been one instance
<ratreynolds> back at the club
<ratreynolds> but i think that was it before they could keep the pg-13 rating
<ratreynolds> to reach their desired audience
<bob511> This is R, though.
<sideshowraheem> R for Reynolds
<ratreynolds> i know i was kidding
<ratreynolds> in canada this would be 14A
<bob511> I should keep reading before typing.
<sideshowraheem> he's even wearing a hat that is presumably for a racist sports mascot
<bob511> A lot of beach volleyball in Las Vegas.
<ratreynolds> rated R for Racist (and Reynolds)
<besoin> if gabrielle only knew this was all spurred by burt spying on her
<Treb_Ferguson> choke him
<dan2> get the beach cop lady from Justin to Kelly to shut this all down
<ratreynolds> for a second there i thought she was gonna be the voice of reason
<sideshowraheem> is she a real volleyball player?
<ratreynolds> thens he called them hookers
<besoin> she was one of the best volleyball players, raheem
<dan2> Sum 42
<sideshowraheem> like I meant in real life
<besoin> yes
<ratreynolds> she's real
<ratreynolds> volleyball player
<sideshowraheem> ah ok well that explains why her acting stands out even in this movie
<ratreynolds> DUDE YOUR BALLS
<Ampersand_> dude where's my balls
<lhs> the lunatic that contributed imdb quotes for this also added very uncomfortable stage direction
<lhs> Crystal: [cocking her blond head] Oh, it's so small.
<Treb_Ferguson> aye yah yoy
<Ampersand_> aaaaagh lhs
<ratreynolds> holy shit that cake
<ratreynolds> her accent went italian there
<ratreynolds> I BROKE-A MY NAILS
<besoin> love the joke reuse
<lhs> why doesn't the parents guide have a category for racism
<ratreynolds> because nudity is more morally upsetting to white parents
<sideshowraheem> oh shit they're in Burt Reynolds house
<dan2> thought it was PFT for a milisecond
<ratreynolds> no way anthony hopkins wears that
<Ampersand_> lol
<ratreynolds> OH NO
<ratreynolds> this movie isnt smart enough to do a meta burt reynolds house joke
<ratreynolds> and this house boy gag is........
<ratreynolds> somehow the most racist
<ratreynolds> in the whole film
<besoin> it keeps escalating
<ratreynolds> is this why D.L. Hughley left show business
<ratreynolds> burt was fucking SMACKED on bourbons the whole time they filmed this
<Ampersand_> oh my
<Ampersand_> that reaction
<ratreynolds> id like to believe that cabo wabo associates and executives all dress like this
<lhs> frownton abbey
<dan2> I picture D.L. Hughley walking back to his trailer every day on this and splashing cold water on his face for 10 minutes straight
<ratreynolds> hes gonna bring out the wrong tequila
<besoin> i think burt fell farther than oj, without even killing anyone
<bob511> Glad they had to class up their stripper volleyball team for Sammy Hagar.
<lhs> what a delightful comedy of manners
<dan2> this is the most tedious scene I've ever watched
<ratreynolds> OH NO
<besoin> !!!
<ratreynolds> TONY DANZA
<sideshowraheem> the cameos are easily the best parts of this
<lhs> low standard to meet
<dan2> weird that they got Tony Danza but had to hire an impersonator to dub his lines
<sideshowraheem> I guess because their a reprieve from the horrendous plot
<Treb_Ferguson> aha dan
<ratreynolds> theres no way danza and hopkins live in the same neighbourhood
<Treb_Ferguson> Apache gunship here to end this
<ratreynolds> HOLYSHIT
<Treb_Ferguson> yes yes
<Treb_Ferguson> The taste police
<sideshowraheem> they got SWATed by Tony Danza
<ratreynolds> wow
<ratreynolds> WOW
<Treb_Ferguson> most elaborate hot cops intro ever
<Ampersand_> heh
<ratreynolds> just when i think this movie isn't gonna surprise me again
<besoin> f lee bailey cameo
<bob511> Heh
<besoin> had we established a relationship here?
<bob511> They flirted at the beach.
<lhs> they were talking in the background
<besoin> completely forgot about angie everhart
<Treb_Ferguson> oof
<besoin> ho ho oh
<sideshowraheem> that's not even a joke
<Ampersand_> "what do you mean MY kind??"
<ratreynolds> do you guys think we could blackmail cabo wabo with this movie
<ratreynolds> honestly id love to live in a trailer on the beach but i dont see how it can be done without being a scumbag
<Ampersand_> how much would you need to be paid to take a supporting role in this film? min. 15 mins of screen time
<dan2> do I have to use my real name?
<Ampersand_> no
<ratreynolds> 800 thousand dollars
<Ampersand_> you can be Seymour Butz
<sideshowraheem> this is two movies in a row with a protagonist who is an absolute monster
<dan2> Busey's dog must have been busy
<Ampersand_> lollll
<ratreynolds> wow this is horrible
<Ampersand_> oil i have never seen before
<besoin> what's the point of the mud
<besoin> they can't even jump
<Treb_Ferguson> oh no
<Ampersand_> "but Billy, this is demeaning"
<besoin> the movie is in on the outrage
<ratreynolds> this is starkly degrading
<Treb_Ferguson> yeaaaaaaah
<ratreynolds> do i sense a moral awakening for billy
<bob511> Sale interlude.
<Ampersand_> aaaaaaaaaaah
<lhs> it's in on it and perpetuating it at the same time
<besoin> this is hilarious
<bob511> Er, Salo.
<besoin> this effort at commentary
<ratreynolds> this is like the scene where willem dafoe dies in platoon
<dan2> Addagio for string bikinis
<Treb_Ferguson> "I can start a second team in another city"
<ratreynolds> this is legit hard to watch
<sideshowraheem> this really took a turn for the fucked up
<Treb_Ferguson> Takes them to car wash, opens sunroof
<lhs> heh
<ratreynolds> jesus
<Ampersand_> lesson: learned
<besoin> boy, he's really being hard on himself
<lhs> here's the imdb lunatic again
<dan2> there are people who watched this who turned on Burt's character at this point
<lhs> Billy Cole: [change of heart after volleyball-in-the-mud fiasco] I have something to say... Everything I have done, up until now, has been for all of us, not just for me. [grimaces]
<sideshowraheem> ok the last two scenes were one of the bleakest things I've ever seen and this resolves it
<ratreynolds> imagine this being the movie that awoken a young 13 year old boy to misogyny
<besoin> maybe the chive was started on the set
<ratreynolds> like he saw that scene and turned it off and went outside and looked at the stars
<sideshowraheem> except tipping the volleyball over the net!
<dan2> guarantee this would become one of the Trump kids top 10 movies if they saw it
<ratreynolds> lol
<ratreynolds> "why are they mad at him? its just business"
<dan2> the true silver lining of this movie is that outside of us, probably less than 2000 people have been exposed to this
<ratreynolds> is d.l. hughley supposed to be his son for real
<Treb_Ferguson> 'Next time it's going to be pudding'
<besoin> burt ex machina
<ratreynolds> oh jesus
<Ampersand_> Derek Stiltz
<sideshowraheem> Trump has an edited version of this movie like bloodsport but it's just scenes of Reynolds ripping people off and demeaning women
<bob511> When you need multiple rapists to redeem your protagonist.
<ratreynolds> irish dirk nowitzki
<besoin> why is eric stoltz being so rude
<ratreynolds> DUDE YOUR BALLS
<dan2> Ed Begley Jr. Jr.
<Treb_Ferguson> ahah rat
<Ampersand_> god my finger tastes good
<besoin> bleeding spaghetti o's
<Treb_Ferguson> uh
<ratreynolds> oh god the thong to stop the bleeding
<lhs> should have given him a tampon
<sideshowraheem> well that plot point resolved easily enough
<besoin> 70?
<Ampersand_> charming?
<Ampersand_> smart>
<ratreynolds> anthony hopkins would never press charges against some hard workin gals
<Ampersand_> funny?
<sideshowraheem> I'd say charming is probably the closest of the 3
<ratreynolds> charming in the way your deadbeat father who takes  you to one baseball game a year and never sees you again is
<Treb_Ferguson> this song is taking the cake
<ratreynolds> wild montage
<ratreynolds> how is d.l. hughley making any money as a chaffeur
<Treb_Ferguson> still not ok
<lhs> fuck are you supposed to tip your mail carrier
<Treb_Ferguson> All the Thong Things
<Ampersand_> i think my mail carrier has permission to shoot me on sight
<besoin> not really fair to have 4 against 2
<ratreynolds> we can blackmail nissan now too
<lhs> worse than ezra
<ratreynolds> lol
<sideshowraheem> lol lhs
<ratreynolds> OH NO
<Treb_Ferguson> fuck
<Ampersand_> "walk it off, honey"
<ratreynolds> julie is gonna have to go in
<besoin> welp, she's bankrupt
<ratreynolds> "i use racism to make money"
<ratreynolds> "you know? the american dream?"
<lhs> carlos mendacious
<besoin> in the movie and in real life
<dan2> strong "I love to racism bro" scene from Eastbound vibes
<ratreynolds> the student has become... the teacher
<ratreynolds> if i was a film professor i would show this in all my classes
<Treb_Ferguson> the fuck
<besoin> this is that guy from that married with children ripoff show right
<bob511> Harry Hawk still more tolerable a sports broadcaster than Hawk Harrelson.
<besoin> with nikki cox and kevin connelly and the dog
<Ampersand_> As a Guy
<dan2> Black in Back
<Ampersand_> Black in Bac
<Ampersand_> fuck
<bob511> Ha
<besoin> tell me gabrielle reece didn't consent to lose
<ratreynolds> teh cabo boys back
<lhs> you're standing on my dick
<besoin> la la la la laaaa
<ratreynolds> this is a creepy scene
<sideshowraheem> he should have followed every line in this movie with that
<besoin> ugh
<ratreynolds> the great burt hero
<lhs> miserablelou
<Treb_Ferguson> whatt
<ratreynolds> oh good mental health stuff
<bob511> Improv too good to cut.
<sideshowraheem> he's talking to us now
<ratreynolds> jesus christ
<bob511> Oh good lord
<ratreynolds> im gonna need more wine
<besoin> :P
<sideshowraheem> this fucking music
<dan2> wow he's so happy
<lhs> all these are original songs that didn't make it into guitar hero
<besoin> wait a minute
<besoin> is this a real song
<besoin> might be shaking and baking us
<ratreynolds> noooooo
<lhs> "cramps in both legs? i told you not to play on your period!"
<besoin> they shoot horses don't they
<ratreynolds> are their shirtss different
<bob511> Ignoring Reality and Just Going for It: The Making of Cloud 9 (2006)
<Ampersand_> lol
<besoin> julianne less
<ratreynolds> lmao
<ratreynolds> that slow mo
<ratreynolds> OK
<Ampersand_> ohhhhh noooooooooo
<dan2> WEEEE ARE THE VICTORS, WEEEE ARE THE VICTORS
<Treb_Ferguson> ah
<ratreynolds> lol dan
<ratreynolds> WOW
<ratreynolds> somehow the worst joke
<ratreynolds> saved for the very end
<dan2> of the EARRRRTH
<ratreynolds> oh mY GOD
<bob511> Ugh
<besoin> burt on a box
<Treb_Ferguson> yarrg
<dan2> jesus
<ratreynolds> i am going to take a bath
<sideshowraheem> look at these idiots who were mad at a guy who got submachines guns pointed in their faces
<dan2> amp how about a few months without intensely, proudly gross movies to give us a cooloff period
<Ampersand_> i
<Ampersand_> 'll see what i can do
<Treb_Ferguson> Why is this movie still going
<Ampersand_> but no guarantees
<bob511> STOP
<sideshowraheem> really setting the stage for Cloud 10
<besoin> oof
<ratreynolds> i need to go outside
<Ampersand_> i'd like to remind you all that "problematic comedies" was the bronze vote leader in our poll
<Ampersand_> so you're welcome
<ratreynolds> lol
<dan2> gonna need you guys to vote on the 46 songs in this to determine which one gets on the next movie series music comp
<ratreynolds> OMG
<Treb_Ferguson> insert taped audio of Dom Delouise laughing
<ratreynolds> THIS JOKE
<ratreynolds> OMG
<ratreynolds> THESE ARE THE JOKES THEY CUT
<Treb_Ferguson> fuckckkc
<Ampersand_> the Gary Busey scene sure was a scene though
<sideshowraheem> oh what a hilarious blooper!
<ratreynolds> i would've watched two hours of busey saying stuff to his dog while scooping poo
<ratreynolds> happily
<Ampersand_> NO IMPROV ON THIS SET
<besoin> this script is sacred
<Treb_Ferguson> gif
<Ampersand_> lol
<ratreynolds> pls gif this
<sideshowraheem> more of Burt being a cranky asshole
<ratreynolds> omg
<lhs> well i guess this is getting old
<ratreynolds> i need that gif
<ratreynolds> why wasnt THAT the movie
<ratreynolds> im dying
<dan2> this for 90 minutes would have been so much better
<besoin> Songs
<Ampersand_> At the Mosh Pit
<Treb_Ferguson> Burts are Burning
<besoin> Undudes
<dan2> it actually was called Chocolate Maracas
<lhs> no big fish
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Postby ratbags » Thu Jul 26, 2018 11:51 pm

can't wait for that gif of burt in the pool
session to session
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Jul 27, 2018 1:06 pm

This Sunday,
Image
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:06 pm

Bump
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 29, 2018 10:35 am

EMPIRE OF THE DARK is TONIGHT
Check the db or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 29, 2018 3:50 pm

Ampersand wrote:EMPIRE OF THE DARK is TONIGHT
Check the db or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 29, 2018 8:06 pm

Two hours until showtime!
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