HPN Movie Series: Chill Factor (Skeet/Cuba), Thur @ 2200 EST

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Ampersand » Sun Jun 17, 2018 9:02 pm

1 hour until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jun 17, 2018 9:46 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Taking of Beverly Hills
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:01 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Taking of Beverly Hills
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jun 17, 2018 11:44 pm

Code: Select all
[22:11] <@Ampersand_> 3
[22:11] <impdentist> we've been watching a trailer for a movie called taking care of business for 19 minutes
[22:12] <@Ampersand_> 2
[22:12] <@Ampersand_> 1
[22:12] <dan2_> Phallus Entertainment Presents
[22:12] <Trebbers> Fancy fontz
[22:12] <donnamartin> bongos seem appropriate for this font
[22:12] <dan2_> finally some class in my credits
[22:13] <Trebbers> Matt Frewer?
[22:13] <donnamartin> narration by adam scott
[22:13] <Trebbers> sp?
[22:13] <bob511> It does sound like Frewer.
[22:13] <dan2_> thanks for the info Owen Wilson
[22:13] <impdentist> specifically adam scott in party down
[22:13] <@Ampersand_> "in Beverly Hills mansions, you'll get max headroom"
[22:13] <AnimeFilm> record scratch: you are probably wondering how i got into this situation
[22:13] <Trebbers> "The dictionary defines Los Angeles as..."
[22:13] <bob511> And it is Frewer.
[22:13] <impdentist> specifically adam scott in party down doing that commercial
[22:13] <dan2_> who need the star wipe when you've got the car wipe
[22:13] <donnamartin> so many mullets
[22:14] <impdentist> it really doesn't
[22:14] <bob511> Hey, you can't just say "Beverly Hills Cop".
[22:14] <shalabi> didn't know this was a documentar
[22:14] <impdentist> legally they get to say it once
[22:14] <Trebbers> Gangsta white walls, tv antenna in the back
[22:14] <AnimeFilm> good song though
[22:14] <@Ampersand_> a Thom Anderson/Ken Wahl joint
[22:14] <Trebbers> An entire film of B-roll
[22:14] <thetakingoflaser> this is just the cutscene at the start of GTA5
[22:15] <impdentist> i would watch the movie of just this b-roll
[22:15] <AnimeFilm> Heck yeah, that trolley
[22:15] <dan2_> hey, use your turn signal when you're transitioning between scenes, jerk!
[22:15] <impdentist> i'm about to be lee ving this movie
[22:15] <shalabi> i'm seeing some repeats in the b-roll here
[22:15] <lhs> koyaanisgucci
[22:15] <thetakingoflaser> HOLLYANISQATSI
[22:15] <Trebbers> Rollerblade like nobody is watching
[22:15] <shalabi> lol
[22:15] <thetakingoflaser> omg lhs
[22:16] <lhs> dang
[22:16] <@Ampersand_> ahah
[22:16] <kayke_> she's so cool
[22:16] <thetakingoflaser> yours was better
[22:16] <Trebbers> This is the fucking extended mix of the song
[22:16] <impdentist> jan hammer!
[22:16] <dan2_> gotta get us settled into the movie like a nice bath
[22:16] <impdentist> of miami vice fame
[22:16] <impdentist> this is looking up
[22:16] <donnamartin> did we just have more time in the 80s for 15 minutes of credits?
[22:16] <AnimeFilm> this is a nice experimental opening
[22:17] <thetakingoflaser> every one of these cars is driving to the L'AMOUR cover shoot
[22:17] <bob511> Anyone figure out wheree this is set yet?
[22:17] <@Ampersand_> Seattle?
[22:17] <impdentist> atlanta
[22:17] <AnimeFilm> the editor really went wild with the record skips
[22:17] <donnamartin> fargo, nd
[22:17] <kayke_> I keep thinking we're like at boomer's house ready to start the movie
[22:17] <Trebbers> Would be cool to be able to get your Coke and Twizzlers during the first 10 minutes and not miss anything
[22:17] <kayke_> but it's just houses
[22:17] <impdentist> something tells me the first ten minutes are gonna be the best part
[22:18] <donnamartin> har har
[22:18] <Trebbers> "Cadillac (Dance Remix)"
[22:18] <AnimeFilm> how much did cartier pay for branding
[22:18] <dan2_> can't wait till these guys get taken
[22:18] <thetakingoflaser> arnold and mccain having a fascinating conversation rn
[22:18] <dan2_> lol
[22:19] <donnamartin> language, fellas
[22:19] <impdentist> "...your gangster white wall"
[22:19] <Trebbers> ahha
[22:19] <thetakingoflaser> ah yes the long lost baldwin brother, Bajo Baldwin
[22:19] <AnimeFilm> why does everyone look like the villain from the mask
[22:19] <shalabi> was that the LA Alec Baldwin?
[22:20] <donnamartin> did he ask if htat was a gay thing?
[22:20] <lhs> yeah
[22:20] <dan2_> gotta admit I was wondering too
[22:20] <Trebbers> Did Frewer wander off from a Police Academy set
[22:20] <impdentist> it's gonna be impossible to tell any of these people apart
[22:20] <impdentist> what
[22:21] <lhs> there's no stopping that guy
[22:21] <donnamartin> what is he rebelling against
[22:21] <shalabi> it's....some guy
[22:21] <donnamartin> mr. mullet himself
[22:21] <Trebbers> holy fuck that mullet
[22:21] <Trebbers> that is strong
[22:21] <lhs> he has enough mullet to smuggle out free tp rolls
[22:21] <dan2_> *fangirl snips part of his mullet for a keepsake*
[22:21] <@Ampersand_> it's a work of art
[22:22] <kayke_> I want those two to have a gay thing
[22:22] <lhs> that won't buy anyone a house in BH
[22:22] <donnamartin> so much hairgel
[22:22] <AnimeFilm> the whole party probably cost more than that
[22:22] <thetakingoflaser> "then he kissed me" starts playing, barney gets a seat right at the front of the copa
[22:23] <@Ampersand_> why wouldn't they buy the homeless people showers first
[22:23] <AnimeFilm> buy them a shower?
[22:23] <impdentist> flaming games?
[22:23] <donnamartin> are you talking about gay shit?
[22:23] <kayke_> how much does a shower cost in beverly hills?
[22:23] <@Ampersand_> well they shower in gold
[22:23] <@Ampersand_> i've heard
[22:23] <shalabi> $25K per minute
[22:24] <impdentist> what
[22:24] <donnamartin> maybe don't do the yes masser thing
[22:24] <shalabi> did he just
[22:24] <dan2_> especially 2 feet away from that guy
[22:24] <donnamartin> poor man's jfk jr here
[22:24] <impdentist> i love the little fanfare
[22:24] <impdentist> and that they brought the entire tympani set for it
[22:24] <kayke_> he loves her because her hair is tall like his
[22:24] <dan2_> is he gonna introduce the Showcase Showdown now?
[22:25] <impdentist> what
[22:25] <thetakingoflaser> haha dan
[22:25] <AnimeFilm> couldnt be a more riveting setting to open the film with
[22:25] <donnamartin> i'm having a hard time with the hair
[22:25] <donnamartin> boomer is not a name
[22:25] <dan2_> less shaking, more taking dammit
[22:26] <Trebbers> Less yappin, more taking
[22:26] <AnimeFilm> 420 gottem
[22:26] <dan2_> lol treb
[22:26] <donnamartin> i wanna bone
[22:26] <@Ampersand_> "uh, molesting?"
[22:26] <kayke_> 50 bucks says nothing happens in this scene
[22:26] <@Ampersand_> just imagine that hair peeking out of the back of a football helmet
[22:27] <thetakingoflaser> holy shit varney is Lee Ving
[22:27] <@Ampersand_> Mr. Body, of the band Fear
[22:27] <donnamartin> i walked away, are they talking about anyting importnat?
[22:27] <impdentist> he's like a much shorter lee pace
[22:27] <lhs> kids love physically touching abstract concepts
[22:27] <kayke_> lmao lhs
[22:27] <donnamartin> #metoo boomer
[22:28] <@Ampersand_> realizing how tall Lee Pace was was shocking
[22:28] <AnimeFilm> that mullet makes good deals
[22:28] <lhs> is this a dece proposal
[22:28] <impdentist> i don't think i understand the terms of that deal
[22:28] <dan2_> finally the heroes show up
[22:28] <@Ampersand_> Minimum Overdrive
[22:28] <dan2_> heh
[22:28] <donnamartin> lol "toxic chemicals"
[22:28] <bob511> The chemicals, dan?
[22:28] <donnamartin> aha amp
[22:28] <impdentist> my girlfriend watched book of henry with us and now she only ever refers to lee pace as "the tall doctor"
[22:29] <@Ampersand_> lol
[22:29] <impdentist> this includes while watching halt and catch fire
[22:29] <dan2_> ooh baby
[22:29] <Trebbers> This is the same mullet Superman had in the 90s
[22:29] <donnamartin> welp  now it's sex time
[22:29] <thetakingoflaser> "this week ... on rescue 911 ... "
[22:29] <bob511> "Benefit's over.  You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."
[22:30] <AnimeFilm> packing down the set to make room for that mullet
[22:30] <impdentist> would unironically watch like an hour of cleaning up after a beverly hills gala with this music
[22:30] <donnamartin> none of that was interesting
[22:30] <lhs> me so hermes
[22:30] <@Ampersand_> very moody living room
[22:30] <donnamartin> what are they talking about?
[22:30] <@Ampersand_> Boomer's got taste
[22:30] <Trebbers> What the fuck is this
[22:30] <AnimeFilm> hes a man of class and taste
[22:30] <impdentist> i think this is the taking
[22:30] <impdentist> of beverly hills
[22:30] <thetakingoflaser> listen he's just playing AMERICAN FUCK SIMULATOR
[22:30] <donnamartin> lol
[22:30] <impdentist> um
[22:30] <dan2_> the hell
[22:31] <donnamartin> amazing
[22:31] <@Ampersand_> rude
[22:31] <AnimeFilm> lol
[22:31] <lhs> BH city council is woke
[22:31] <shalabi> "you can fuck here, just wrap it up"
[22:31] <thetakingoflaser> "and this is how i became zorro"
[22:31] <AnimeFilm> knocks on door, condom inspection
[22:31] <kayke_> lol
[22:31] <donnamartin> uh oh chemicals
[22:31] <dan2_> they're pulling a con and its actually a truck full of perfectly safe chemicals
[22:31] <Trebbers> The twist is that he just owns an Arena League team
[22:32] <shalabi> literally "Poison"
[22:32] <@Ampersand_> the Poisonmobile
[22:32] <donnamartin> y'all i know i should be past it, but i can't with this mullet
[22:32] <thetakingoflaser> "but i get up again and you're never gonna keep me down"
[22:32] <kayke_> "we've got a truck having unsafe sex"
[22:32] <donnamartin> there's just so much gel
[22:32] <dan2_> I would do this all the time in Euro Trick Simulator just to shave a few minutes off of my trips
[22:32] <shalabi> his eyebrows are thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
[22:32] <impdentist> maybe i'll play some truck sim after this
[22:32] <donnamartin> my cialis has'nt kicked in, maybe another night?
[22:33] <impdentist> i'm just drunk enough
[22:33] <dan2_> v. relaxing game
[22:33] <kayke_> "got everything? where'd you put your other sleeve?"
[22:33] <impdentist> i just need to download the soundtrack of this movie for it
[22:33] <donnamartin> an earthquake?
[22:33] <donnamartin> how dumb are they?
[22:33] <donnamartin> how bout i help some kids if you bone me
[22:33] <impdentist> i mean they don't really live somewhere where they would experience frequent earthquakes
[22:34] <thetakingoflaser> now as in rio 2014, fred leads an impotent attack
[22:34] <Trebbers> waoh
[22:34] <impdentist> was this part of the plan
[22:34] <dan2_> all that just to avoid getting a ticket for boning without a condom
[22:34] <impdentist> AH BIG BOY
[22:34] <impdentist> WHY
[22:35] <kayke_> a whole truck full of fog machines
[22:35] <shalabi> uh
[22:35] <bob511> Is Bob in for a lineup or something?
[22:35] <donnamartin> i like those guys. let's make a movie about them.
[22:35] <@Ampersand_> the taking of the big boy
[22:35] <Trebbers> "Bob is pressing charges"
[22:36] <donnamartin> i need benny hill music
[22:36] <bob511> Toxic Spill Squad...in color!
[22:36] <AnimeFilm> will we ever know why he needed to gun it from the police car
[22:36] <dan2_> Beverly Spills
[22:36] <dan2_> (I'll see myself out)
[22:36] <@Ampersand_> lol
[22:36] <impdentist> epa are rarely good guys in 80s movies
[22:36] <Trebbers> uh
[22:36] <impdentist> ahahaha the trophies
[22:36] <thetakingoflaser> he is BOB, eager for fun. he wears a smile, everybody run.
[22:36] <impdentist> kato no! not tonight!
[22:36] <@Ampersand_> omg we're back in The Urge to Kill
[22:36] <donnamartin> guys, the bubbles
[22:36] <Trebbers> Wait, I thought this lady left
[22:37] <donnamartin> is his kink bubbles?
[22:37] <bob511> Kind of wish this were the sort of movie where Bob is in the middle of the spill, becomes a much bigger boy.
[22:37] <donnamartin> oh i'd love that
[22:38] <Trebbers> So much sliding
[22:38] <thetakingoflaser> HONEY I SHRUNK THE LOGIC
[22:38] <donnamartin> trebbers she felt the earth move and got turned on or soemthing
[22:38] <AnimeFilm> It spills on big boy and he starts to wreak havoc on the city
[22:38] <kayke_> do cop cars not have breaks?
[22:38] <impdentist> does the chemical respect municipal jurisdictional boundaries
[22:38] <bob511> Just emergency brakes.
[22:38] <Trebbers> Chlorine is nachos
[22:38] <impdentist> oh fuck
[22:38] <dan2_> ohhh shit
[22:38] <@Ampersand_> trojan big boy
[22:38] <shalabi> the perfect crime
[22:38] <AnimeFilm> And thats how everyone in beverly hills got cancer 20 years later
[22:38] <donnamartin> is this beverly hills, queens?
[22:39] <kayke_> well that's what you get for getting changed in a sitcom freezer
[22:39] <bob511> Is this the Trash Man's origin story?
[22:39] <bob511> Er, Trashcan Man.
[22:39] <AnimeFilm> lol
[22:39] <Trebbers> "Why does this bus say 'FEMA camp' on it?"
[22:39] <@Ampersand_> i mean, wouldn't everybody in Bev Hills be immune to chlorine?
[22:39] <donnamartin> i dunno, seems like they'd already be affected by the gas?
[22:40] <impdentist> uh
[22:40] <@Ampersand_> hmm
[22:40] <kayke_> wait they didn't have sex yet?
[22:40] <dan2_> odd choce to put the mic inside the bubble bath
[22:40] <impdentist> haha
[22:40] <bob511> "The water pressure is out.  That's why I'm taking a bath."
[22:40] <Trebbers> So he's just taking a pre fucking bath
[22:40] <@Ampersand_> pretty sure he hasn't popped his cork yet
[22:40] <Trebbers> cool, i guess
[22:40] <donnamartin> gotta get your dick clean, treb
[22:40] <kayke_> she changed from her clothes into his jersey to watch him take a bath
[22:40] <donnamartin> don't you?
[22:41] <thetakingoflaser> i don't pop my cork for every bath i see / hey big wetter / spend a little time with me
[22:41] <Trebbers> Mr Bubbles kink
[22:41] <AnimeFilm> a woman needs options
[22:41] <dan2_> all non-poodle dogs are banned in Beverly Hills
[22:41] <lhs> this isn't what the kids mean by "soaking"
[22:41] <Trebbers> Great pervert getup
[22:41] <@Ampersand_> lol lhs
[22:41] <shalabi> not boomer!
[22:41] <impdentist> why would they not want to get all the people out of the house
[22:41] <dan2_> guess he's a late Boomer
[22:42] <kayke_> this is a good case for not having a nickname
[22:42] <Trebbers> ...
[22:42] <impdentist> take it (i.e., beverly hills)
[22:42] <dan2_> the titular line
[22:42] <Trebbers> ahhahahh
[22:42] <AnimeFilm> good to see the power glove in professional use
[22:42] <donnamartin> you're unbelievable, boomer
[22:42] <@Ampersand_> ahhhhh
[22:42] <bob511> Synchronize your TI-80s.
[22:42] <impdentist> ahahahaha the music
[22:42] <thetakingoflaser> oh my god this is incredible
[22:42] <dan2_> you wouldn't download a beverly hills...
[22:42] <shalabi> the needle drop, it burns like chlorine gas
[22:42] <bob511> Ha
[22:42] <kayke_> lol dan
[22:42] <@Ampersand_> lol oh no, not the national guard!
[22:42] <donnamartin> it's amazing what hollywood finances
[22:42] <@Ampersand_> lol dan
[22:42] <AnimeFilm> Beverly Hills ET
[22:43] <impdentist> really need this music higher in the mix
[22:43] <shalabi> why would they drive right next to the spill
[22:43] <kayke_> no I like the bus sounds
[22:43] <lhs> are we supposed to believe that the air quality is any different from usual in LA
[22:43] <@Ampersand_> champagne? welcome to the fuck bus
[22:43] <impdentist> if you're going to do an EMF montage then EMF really needs to be the most important part of it
[22:43] <dan2_> while this is going on another group has trained dogs to rob the beverly hills banks
[22:43] <donnamartin> aha
[22:43] <@Ampersand_> *6 hours later*
[22:43] <kayke_> is she thinking "why aren't those dogs dead"?
[22:43] <donnamartin> seriously?
[22:43] <impdentist> put on EMF
[22:43] <@Ampersand_> lol
[22:44] <AnimeFilm> hes that self centered he doesnt notice hes been in the bath for 3 hours
[22:44] <dan2_> *presses "Fuck Tub" button*
[22:44] <donnamartin> isn't his dick wrinkly by now/
[22:44] <Trebbers> Most danger he's been in so far is waterlogged skin
[22:44] <kayke_> lol
[22:44] <Trebbers> Dick Wrinkly, PI
[22:44] <dan2_> can't wait to see him fight the bad guys while excessivly prune-y
[22:44] <AnimeFilm> So the truck driver suicided for a heist mission??
[22:45] <lhs> club remix
[22:45] <kayke_> the truck driver was a hologram
[22:45] <donnamartin> why do i get the feeling i'm going to wind up rooting for the bad guys
[22:45] <AnimeFilm> the entire police force is in on it?
[22:46] <@Ampersand_> (Still) Unbelievable
[22:46] <shalabi> going for the high score
[22:46] <donnamartin> this .. is the plot of gta 5?
[22:46] <impdentist> hahaha the unbelievable sting
[22:46] <kayke_> I think the real cops are locking in that weird outside locking changing room
[22:46] <@Ampersand_> damn. the mayor was a fruit gusher all along
[22:46] <bob511> Silenced paintball gun.
[22:47] <AnimeFilm> Taking my turn at the trough does not sound pleasant
[22:47] <dan2_> the plan was just taking!
[22:47] <kayke_> oh nooooo not CALVIN
[22:47] <donnamartin> sorry to (not) fuck and run
[22:47] <donnamartin> oh man is he gonna fight them in a towel?
[22:48] <donnamartin> careful there, eastern promises
[22:48] <bob511> BOOM
[22:48] <lhs> please hide in the tub
[22:48] <AnimeFilm> the towel absorbed into his skin cause he was in the bath too long
[22:48] <donnamartin> lotta wasted bullets here
[22:48] <@Ampersand_> yessssss
[22:48] <donnamartin> !!
[22:48] <lhs> yesss
[22:48] <Trebbers> ahahahah
[22:48] <shalabi> lol
[22:48] <Trebbers> bowflexed
[22:48] <bob511> BOOM
[22:49] <kayke_> yas Calvin!
[22:49] <@Ampersand_> no no, it's "Shoot The Cop"
[22:49] <dan2_> if his towell was on that tight he would have lost all circulation to his lower half
[22:49] <Trebbers> What's really upsetting is the crazy idea that people would use the cover of working for the EPA to enrich themselves.
[22:49] <donnamartin> this is me playing gta 5
[22:49] <lhs> mullet vs mullet
[22:49] <@Ampersand_> A Mullet Challenger Appears
[22:50] <AnimeFilm> ha
[22:50] <dan2_> lol treb
[22:50] <impdentist> that was just the same joke
[22:50] <thetakingoflaser> anyone else just sitting here waiting for the ROCKSTAR logo
[22:50] <dan2_> tricked out?
[22:50] <kayke_> I don't approve of this gym/bathroom
[22:51] <donnamartin> his only clothe are jerseys
[22:51] <dan2_> seems like a good motto for America
[22:51] <impdentist> he got fired by the toronto PD
[22:51] <lhs> yeah, his tub isn't big enough to wrestle a manchild in
[22:51] <Trebbers> Frewer needs to stop hyperventilating
[22:51] <AnimeFilm> steroids for his mullet
[22:51] <Trebbers> 'If I die, it's gonna be in a k-hole'
[22:51] <impdentist> that is amazing
[22:51] <donnamartin> oh god there's gonna be a lot of football analogies
[22:52] <dan2_> oh god
[22:52] <donnamartin> clear eyes, full hearts, can't die
[22:52] <@Ampersand_> heh
[22:52] <AnimeFilm> he just drafted larry david
[22:52] <Trebbers> oH NOOOOOO
[22:52] <kayke_> Where's our two baby boys
[22:53] <kayke_> he brought a tank to a football fight
[22:53] <dan2_> is that Z'dar?
[22:53] <AnimeFilm> i like that he put on his jersey for combat
[22:53] <donnamartin> oh my god
[22:53] <lhs> gotta come correct
[22:53] <@Ampersand_> or at least come original
[22:53] <bob511> Does this movie keep conspicuously censoring swears?
[22:53] <dan2_> this movie seems suprisingly expensive for as remarkably stupid as it is
[22:53] <thetakingoflaser> "uhhhh guys. they got a tank."
[22:53] <kayke_> "flamin"
[22:53] <donnamartin> i think the residents of beverly hills will notice this
[22:54] <bob511> Like, it's an R movie.
[22:54] <shalabi> where are the media helicopters?
[22:54] <@Ampersand_> this tank rips
[22:54] <donnamartin> what is this music
[22:54] <AnimeFilm> i like that hes using the tank to try to take them out
[22:54] <shalabi> the weed tashcan
[22:54] <thetakingoflaser> the R stands for Rockin, bob
[22:54] <donnamartin> poison ivy?
[22:54] <Trebbers> so fuck is ok
[22:54] <@Ampersand_> what
[22:55] <kayke_> only bad guys cuss
[22:55] <donnamartin> this is half die hard, half screwball
[22:55] <Trebbers> Maybe Wahl didn't want to be seen cursing
[22:55] <donnamartin> it's like if airplane and die hard had an abortion
[22:56] <AnimeFilm> who was he?
[22:56] <thetakingoflaser> it's THE COWERING AND FURLOUGHED
[22:56] <donnamartin> the guys in this movie is gross
[22:56] <donnamartin> are*
[22:56] <AnimeFilm> I thought for sure he was a villain
[22:57] <bob511> He is?
[22:57] <Trebbers> Wait, Robert Davi was in Wiseguy too
[22:57] <bob511> Oh, no, I confused him with Varney.
[22:57] <@Ampersand_> Bod Saget
[22:57] <Trebbers> weird
[22:57] <kayke_> this movie thinks dogs are funnier than they are
[22:57] <dan2_> wait a minute...this isn't the hotel for dogs!
[22:58] <donnamartin> i think the residents of BH are gonna notice this, no?
[22:58] <bob511> Chlorine is very volatile.
[22:58] <AnimeFilm> hes really turning beverly hills into a vietnam warzone
[22:58] <Trebbers> Can probably see the fires from space
[22:58] <kayke_> at that point these ex cops will be in mexico selling their gold
[22:58] <donnamartin> oh boy
[22:59] <donnamartin> oh this dialogue
[22:59] <lhs> stick a banana in the cannon
[22:59] <kayke_> he's gonna tackle the tank
[22:59] <shalabi> isn't he a quarterback though?
[22:59] <shalabi> i have no idea
[22:59] <AnimeFilm> bend the cannon so that it plugs into itself
[22:59] <bob511> He's going to get flagged playing defense in that number.
[23:00] <donnamartin> guys, guys, i got an idea: beverly hills cop, but with football. and if it was boring.
[23:00] <thetakingoflaser> lol bob
[23:00] <kayke_> his ankle is gonna kill in the morning
[23:00] <shalabi> wait
[23:00] <bob511> Way to go, Peter.
[23:00] <impdentist> that's not really a touchdown
[23:00] <@Ampersand_> lol
[23:00] <donnamartin> Saved by the Pool
[23:00] <Trebbers> fuck
[23:00] <shalabi> touchdowns are good thing
[23:00] <bob511> What the
[23:00] <@Ampersand_> slightly past halftime
[23:00] <kayke_> lmao
[23:00] <AnimeFilm> "Pools...by Peter"
[23:01] <Trebbers> what is this
[23:01] <impdentist> what's all this
[23:01] <donnamartin> wow, this is really the plot point
[23:02] <dan2_> maybe there was entirely different dialoge explaining the plot and they dubbed over it
[23:02] <kayke_> canaries in a coal mine, dogs in a chlorine spill
[23:02] <donnamartin> ew
[23:02] <impdentist> so weird
[23:02] <Trebbers> Well, now waiting for Chekhov's spermicide
[23:02] <thetakingoflaser> we now take you to the COPIED CITY from nier automata
[23:03] <lhs> i want vinegar in baking soda NOW
[23:03] <lhs> silent beverly hill
[23:03] <bob511> That snap count is never going to fool a defensive line.
[23:04] <impdentist> take the lambo come on
[23:04] <bob511> Budget rents Rolls?
[23:05] <dan2_> the action in this feels almost out of sync despite it not being
[23:05] <Trebbers> Dog fights, hell yea
[23:05] <dan2_> and then this subplot makes things even more disorienting
[23:05] <@Ampersand_> "Sex! Sex!"
[23:05] <Trebbers> ahh
[23:06] <lhs> is the entire city a gated community
[23:06] <donnamartin> amazing sound track
[23:06] <AnimeFilm> Just downloading that thick green MULA
[23:06] <impdentist> i am surprised we got this long before this song
[23:06] <donnamartin> wow okay then
[23:07] <bob511> Did it over?
[23:07] <kayke_> an old fashions did-it-over
[23:07] <AnimeFilm> they sound like they breathed too much chlorine
[23:08] <kayke_> Booze in a rent a car?
[23:08] <impdentist> where are all drinks free after 8:00
[23:08] <kayke_> rent a cars
[23:08] <@Ampersand_> forget it, kayke. it's beverly hillstown
[23:08] <dan2_> music video about to start
[23:08] <thetakingoflaser> this music is straight out of a final fantasy cutscene
[23:09] <Trebbers> I can't believe Davi is crooked
[23:09] <bob511> Casting Robert Davi as your secret villain.
[23:09] <kayke_> I'd rent this playstation one game from a block buster
[23:09] <donnamartin> at least she has her shoulder pads
[23:09] <bob511> They're actually Boomer's.
[23:10] <@Ampersand_> "beverly hills. THAT'S where i wanna be"
[23:10] <thetakingoflaser> ugh amp i have been waiting the entire movie to do that
[23:11] <@Ampersand_> sososorry
[23:11] <impdentist> odds on getting some actual social commentary in this
[23:11] <thetakingoflaser> <3
[23:11] <donnamartin> i think i'm on the pig's side?
[23:11] <@Ampersand_> "oral sex/"
[23:11] <donnamartin> what.......?
[23:11] <AnimeFilm> Boomer comes out with his soaking fetish
[23:11] <donnamartin> why is a dentist better at oral sex?
[23:11] <impdentist> :ahuh:
[23:11] <@Ampersand_> lol
[23:12] <donnamartin> who wants a dentil pick in their vagina?
[23:12] <impdentist> that's a good point actually
[23:12] <lhs> probably at least one person
[23:12] <donnamartin> excuse me, looks like you have a big cavity here?
[23:12] <kayke_> lol donna
[23:12] <@Ampersand_> aaaha
[23:12] <bob511> They missed clearing out Lorenzo Lamas, too?
[23:13] <donnamartin> oh man, leaving flaming bags of poo really escalated
[23:13] <thetakingoflaser> SIX FOOT SIX ... FROM NORTH CAROLINA ... MICHAELLLLLLL JORDAAAANNNNNN
[23:13] <kayke_> I fucking love that they're real time calculating how much they stole, even though they just have garbage cans full of gold and paintings
[23:13] <dan2_> lol lb
[23:13] <donnamartin> i can't move past the dentist being good at oral sex
[23:13] <impdentist> it's 106 miles to chicago
[23:14] <kayke_> he has a scientific understanding of the mouth, donna
[23:14] <thetakingoflaser> you can't have a countdown in a movie that moves slower diegetically than time in real life jesus christ
[23:14] <impdentist> a dentist might conceivably be good at receiving oral sex
[23:14] <impdentist> or no
[23:14] <kayke_> the chair might be useful
[23:14] <donnamartin> yeah, i bet that chair is great
[23:15] <donnamartin> also you have a big light to see thigns
[23:15] <thetakingoflaser> and a place to rinse and spit
[23:15] <lhs> you're going to screw that deal up in flaming, famous beverly hills
[23:16] <donnamartin> genital obsessive?
[23:16] <bob511> She's probably wishing she didn't throw on her tap shoes on the way out of the house.
[23:16] <Trebbers> Notch on his jockstrap
[23:16] <kayke_> a crazy bat
[23:16] <donnamartin> maybe he just likes dentists
[23:16] <@Ampersand_> this is natural human dialogue
[23:16] <donnamartin> he's gonna die of asthma isn't he
[23:16] <thetakingoflaser> this is the worst noir of all time
[23:16] <kayke_> I gave you my heart, the very next day, you threw it away
[23:17] <Trebbers> rolling eyes here
[23:17] <thetakingoflaser> ahaha kayke i was singing it out loud
[23:17] <donnamartin> impressed with her arms tho
[23:17] <dan2_> this lady and the mom from The Good Son need to have a contest
[23:17] <donnamartin> those uneven bars are a bitch
[23:18] <thetakingoflaser> talk to me bubby
[23:18] <donnamartin> guy loves himself molotov cocktails
[23:19] <kayke_> twisted metal
[23:19] <@Ampersand_> *mulletov cocktails
[23:19] <donnamartin> it's okay?
[23:19] <Trebbers> ahaa
[23:19] <donnamartin> oh god no stop
[23:19] <Trebbers> just start singing again
[23:20] <kayke_> oh wait is his name "bat"??
[23:20] <impdentist> mulletov cocktails is good
[23:20] <donnamartin> i can't with this nonconsensual punning
[23:20] <donnamartin> aha dentist
[23:20] <Trebbers> Got Tetris on there
[23:21] <shalabi> oof
[23:22] <kayke_> newman
[23:22] <Trebbers> yes yes yes
[23:22] <thetakingoflaser> EAAAAASTBOUND AND DOOOOOWN LOADED UP AND TRUCKIN
[23:22] <bob511> When the car is literally on fire, that's when they say "fucking" instead of "flaming".
[23:23] <@Ampersand_> "you can be a garbage pail kid"
[23:23] <lhs> literally friendly fire
[23:23] <dan2_> refreshing to see someone totally mishandle a gun in an action movie
[23:24] <donnamartin> thank god for the fire code
[23:24] <lhs> he already had a bath today
[23:25] <@Ampersand_> My Wahl
[23:25] <thetakingoflaser> MY WALL by black flag
[23:26] <kayke_> let's grab some sushi and hit the road
[23:26] <donnamartin> looting in no time
[23:26] <lhs> how are they calculating that
[23:26] <Trebbers> Not all that much once you divide that money by the 10,000 guys on the job
[23:26] <donnamartin> they'll probably murder them all
[23:27] <donnamartin> put them on meat hooks in a fridge truck
[23:28] <dan2_> so did they just have each person listing back to HQ what they took?
[23:28] <shalabi> a data driven approach to robbery
[23:28] <@Ampersand_> yessss
[23:28] <impdentist> whoa
[23:28] <donnamartin> oh boy, throwing stars
[23:28] <@Ampersand_> lovely
[23:28] <donnamartin> amazing
[23:29] <donnamartin> ew a purse
[23:29] <impdentist> if only those looney libs hadn't passed gun control in california!
[23:29] <lhs> ha ha
[23:29] <dan2_> and he's got a good arm, bad guys stand no chance
[23:29] <impdentist> well like six of the bad guys stand no chance
[23:29] <impdentist> ok now we're talking
[23:29] <donnamartin> oh my god
[23:29] <Trebbers> They did not skimp on the music
[23:29] <AnimeFilm> nice
[23:29] <shalabi> they hit the gasoline store
[23:29] <lhs> not fred
[23:29] <dan2_> hell fucking yes
[23:29] <donnamartin> the music
[23:30] <kayke_> I feel like I'd be more invested in this movie if I cared at all about these rich people getting robbed
[23:30] <Trebbers> We might even get I Love La
[23:30] <donnamartin> i'm invested in this music choice
[23:30] <donnamartin> and the insane explosions
[23:30] <kayke_> that's true, I do want to see more cars flip over
[23:31] <donnamartin> i'd love it all of BH blew up
[23:31] <@Ampersand_> throwing star to the throat
[23:31] <shalabi> died doing what he loved, shotgunned down in a BH hellscape
[23:32] <Trebbers> yessss
[23:32] <@Ampersand_> such arm
[23:32] <dan2_> YES!
[23:32] <kayke_> wait is calvin actually dead or just sleeping?
[23:32] <donnamartin> yesssssssssssssssssssss
[23:32] <Trebbers> Booooooomer
[23:32] <shalabi> .5 mile pass
[23:32] <lhs> they don't call him boomer for nothing
[23:32] <kayke_> blow up the fresco so no one can have it
[23:33] <lhs> pete's going to turn it into a pool bottom
[23:34] <donnamartin> is his buddy dead?
[23:34] <donnamartin> oh i see
[23:35] <kayke_> just sleeping
[23:35] <donnamartin> lame son of a bitch?
[23:35] <bob511> "....flaming."
[23:35] <lhs> "you... dork!"
[23:35] <impdentist> whoa
[23:35] <kayke_> he is technically lame, with his ankle
[23:35] <donnamartin> what?
[23:36] <kayke_> whahahahaaaa
[23:36] <dan2_> don't ever say sportsball around boomer
[23:36] <kayke_> look who respawned
[23:36] <donnamartin> that did n ot kill him
[23:36] <donnamartin> also that house is super generic plain ugly
[23:37] <kayke_> every mansion is every movie we watch is the worst
[23:37] <kayke_> *in
[23:37] <impdentist> i think a wife is allowed to testify against her husband if she wants
[23:37] <donnamartin> um, they're not married, that's not how this works and also what
[23:37] <impdentist> this guy has the worst fucking attorneys
[23:37] <impdentist> i thought that was a pickaxe at first
[23:38] <donnamartin> not a bad way to go
[23:38] <donnamartin> also yeah me too dentist. seemed bloody
[23:38] <donnamartin> oh thank god this guy's house is so ugly
[23:38] <AnimeFilm> Oh this movie has quite a lot of explosions
[23:38] <kayke_> my next car is going to be one of those little tanks
[23:38] <Trebbers> ahah
[23:38] <impdentist> that is a shitty crossbow
[23:38] <donnamartin> this house is so ugly who designed it?
[23:38] <impdentist> definintely gonna take down a deer when an arrow lands on it
[23:38] <dan2_> its slower than anything boomer has thrown
[23:39] <thetakingoflaser> if i got that crossbow in skyrim i'd immediately reset and send the game back
[23:39] <donnamartin> what was that
[23:39] <kayke_> cork screw
[23:39] <AnimeFilm> his roids
[23:39] <thetakingoflaser> (resident evil font) YOU DIED
[23:39] <lhs> this syrup will never come out of the carpet
[23:39] <donnamartin> yesss bob's big boy was behind it all along
[23:40] <kayke_> they showed him use whatever that thing was to open a wine bottle
[23:40] <dan2_> *dumps celebratory barrel of treasure over Kelvin*
[23:40] <bob511> Oh my god, they booked Bob
[23:40] <kayke_> I do not know why it killed him instantly
[23:40] <donnamartin> well, he tapped his syrup line
[23:40] <kayke_> ummm boomer has absolved you
[23:41] <dan2_> so they're gonna recover the $750,000,000 of rich people's possessions, and then have to spend 100 billion reconstructing all of Beverly Hills
[23:41] <@Ampersand_> "let's boom"
[23:41] <donnamartin> oh hye do you have my jersey you left the house with?
[23:41] <donnamartin> it's worth a lot
[23:41] <lhs> the greatest cockblock
[23:41] <donnamartin> lol
[23:41] <donnamartin> they have to make police statements
[23:41] <bob511> Well, on that front, dan:
[23:41] <bob511> "Though the movie is set in Beverly Hills, the majority of the movie was filmed in Mexico. Rodeo Drive was reconstructed out of Styrofoam in a lot outside of Mexico City."
[23:41] <kayke_> bye movie
[23:41] <@Ampersand_> excuse me, a NIGHT with Boomer Hayes
[23:42] <kayke_> those kids need to touch boomer
[23:42] <donnamartin> lol bob
[23:42] <dan2_> I would be so tempted to just run though the sides of buildings if everything around me was made of styrofoam
[23:42] <donnamartin> oh i'd bust through everything like i was the kool aid man
[23:42] <donnamartin> was this in theaters?
[23:42] <bob511> Also, "A computer game was released in 1991 to coincide with the film's theatrical release. The game was an action/adventure hybrid where you could play as both Boomer Hayes and Laura Sage (strangely, Ed was left out) to solve puzzles and defeat bad guys in order to stop the looting of the city."
[23:42] <@Ampersand_> booming comes naturally
[23:42] <kayke_> I think they actually died and this is heaven and that's why everyone is wearing white
[23:43] <donnamartin> oh thank godi thought this was based on a true story
[23:43] <@Ampersand_> insane, bob
[23:43] <bob511> From the developers of Terminator 2: Judgment Day: Chess Wars
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jun 17, 2018 11:56 pm

genre preference poll open!
vote, or express a desire for a different genre not listed below
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Postby Bob511 » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:09 am

Going to just vote "yes".
universe, you can't play the willfully ignorant, but partisan bleeding heart
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Postby animefilm » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:37 am

Im the only one who voted for z-grade independent trash :(
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Postby identikit » Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:41 am

animefilm wrote:Im the only one who voted for z-grade independent trash :(

not any more, we can get there!

what a poll. sad I can't make it while in Euro time zones, but since I want to join again after the summer, I figure I am allowed to vote.
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:49 am

identikit wrote:but since I want to join again after the summer, I figure I am allowed to vote.


hell yeah
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Postby laserblast » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:42 am

it turns out we love everything except treacly Oscar bait
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Postby laserblast » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:42 am

action is covered by z grade trash
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Postby kayke » Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:01 am

If I had a fourth vote it would have gone to unfunny/problematic comedies.
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:35 am

I think it's clear that ya'll need to get @ me with your big budget Hollywood genre bomb recs, which are not at all represented in your individual Request lists.
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Postby laserblast » Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:44 am

Ampersand wrote:I think it's clear that ya'll need to get @ me with your big budget Hollywood genre bomb recs, which are not at all represented in your individual Request lists.


https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000386/#director
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Postby dan » Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:51 am

I feel like we've already covered all of the worthwhile Emmerich aside from 2012
other than Image
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Postby important dentist » Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:56 am

i took "grade z" to be stuff like super hell or mr stitches or the one with the worms or whatever that was clearly shot on a camcorder. that stuff is ok but i vastly prefer when a production has all the resources of a major hollywood production and still massively bricks it

i am the one vote for oscar bait and frankly i am disappointed in yall
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cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby Kevin McCallister » Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:03 pm

I voted for Congo.
kranky wrote:the monster mash isn't actually halloween specific and is just a monster party that could happen at any time.
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Postby ratbags » Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:06 pm

Ampersand wrote:I think it's clear that ya'll need to get @ me with your big budget Hollywood genre bomb recs, which are not at all represented in your individual Request lists.


the great wall
session to session
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Postby ratbags » Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:12 pm

session to session
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Postby Autarch » Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:47 pm

Sent from my Lenovo
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Postby kayke » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:02 pm

I have literally only ever asked for one thing in my whole life
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 18, 2018 3:17 pm

Kevin McCallister wrote:I voted for Congo.


all i've got is



and

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Postby important dentist » Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:01 pm

i'm not sure if this counts (it has at least some famous people in it and the production values of a real movie) but i've been plugging it for a while


edit:
Box Office Mojo reports with a 2,333 theater count, the film grossed an average $758 from each venue, making it the fourth worst debut for a film with a 2,000+ theater average.
"My foremost duty is to the board," Important Dentist countered. "I
cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby Autarch » Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:27 pm

important dentist wrote:i'm not sure if this counts (it has at least some famous people in it and the production values of a real movie) but i've been plugging it for a while


edit:
Box Office Mojo reports with a 2,333 theater count, the film grossed an average $758 from each venue, making it the fourth worst debut for a film with a 2,000+ theater average.


this one looks amazing
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Postby donna martin » Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:27 pm

Ampersand wrote:I think it's clear that ya'll need to get @ me with your big budget Hollywood genre bomb recs, which are not at all represented in your individual Request lists.


You sure? I didn't think anyone had forgiven me for "What Women Want" yet.
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Postby donna martin » Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:41 pm

Cannot believe we haven't done this one:



And:

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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:33 pm

donna martin wrote:Cannot believe we haven't done this one:




I knew what this was going to be before the youtube loaded on my screen. ;)
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Postby sideshow raheem » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:34 pm

Autarch wrote:
important dentist wrote:i'm not sure if this counts (it has at least some famous people in it and the production values of a real movie) but i've been plugging it for a while


edit:
Box Office Mojo reports with a 2,333 theater count, the film grossed an average $758 from each venue, making it the fourth worst debut for a film with a 2,000+ theater average.


this one looks amazing

I third this
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Postby ratbags » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:35 pm

that movie is actually weirdly depressing. it left in a very sad state after it ended. it's not about it being bad or expecting it to be good. it just seems to come from such a sad place and it's not expressed well and it's a huge fat bummer.
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:45 pm

FYI: I'm using these recs to schedule the rest of summer, so keep them coming, please.
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