HPN SHIT FLIXE: Killer Single Dad (Lifetime), Sun @ 2200 EDT

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Which genres of shit flick do you prefer and would like to see more of? Choose 3!

Science fiction
Unfunny/problematic comedies
Lifetime original/made for TV thrillers
Bizarre family films and animated weirdness
Big budget Hollywood genre flops (superhero, action, adventure, fantasy)
Christian/right-wing propaganda
Treacly Oscar bait dramas
Z-grade independent trash (of any genre)
Total votes : 106

Postby Ampersand » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:19 am

This Sunday,
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Jul 07, 2018 5:41 pm

Ampersand wrote:This Sunday,
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:04 am

Tonight! The dB is a little restricted atm, so if you need the movie shoot me a PM
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:06 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight! The dB is a little restricted atm, so if you need the movie shoot me a PM
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 8:10 pm

Two hours until showtime!
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Postby kayke » Sun Jul 08, 2018 9:53 pm

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 9:53 pm

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:01 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Roommate
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:45 pm

Code: Select all
<Ampersand_> PAUSE ON 00:00 PLEASE
<autarch> hold on
<autarch> i'm buffering
<Ampersand_> lemme know
<lhs> this is no time for realplayer
<theroomkayke> why is this movie so wide
<ratmate> to see the whole room
<Trebbers> got snakes in it
<sideshowraheem> hey are you talking about this movie or my ex-wife
<Ampersand_> lol
<bob511> No square foot gone to waste.
<theroomkayke> all good answers, thank you
<autarch> 2 mins
<dan2> what about a rat movie that turns into a snake movie
<autarch> i'm just downloading it now
<ratmate> wow autarch holding us up
<ratmate> typical
<Ampersand_> jeeeeez
<dan2> W O W
<autarch> oh geez
<autarch> you know
<Trebbers> outrage
<bob511> Yeah, streaming from DB is not reliable.
<autarch> I don't need this shit
<sideshowraheem> thankfully this one barely slid over the 90 minute mark
<autarch> I don't need this bullshit from you ratbags
<Ampersand_> we need this shit
<autarch> It's not so easy being me
<ratmate> some of us have JOBS
<autarch> You know, life aint a cakewalk
<theroomkayke> my life is a kaykewalk
<theroomkayke> don't run much
<Ampersand_> some jobs, no hope, little cash
<autarch> hey, guess what ratbags, I have a job too.
<ratmate> autarch is definitely the guy scream-whispering his friends name in a dark theatre when he shows up late
<sideshowraheem> remember when Dropbox would stream for 10 minutes then no more? what was that shit?
<autarch> about 43 seconds left
<dan2> here's a trailer to watch in that time
<dan2> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uQL7dbvHHU
<Ampersand_> damn
<Ampersand_> i am into this
<dan2> it's got Ice T in it
<Ampersand_> yeah good cast
<ratmate> have we watched DEEP COVER yet
<bob511> "captured from the 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) VHS tape. This tape is labeled 61991 and released in (2003)"
<sideshowraheem> oh wow glad to know they took this from the 2 Fast 2 Furious VHS release
<Trebbers> ahah
<bob511> Thorough YouTube captioning.
<ratmate> with laurence fishburne and jeff goldblum
<Trebbers> Finally! I found it! I remember putting 2 fast 2 furious vhs tape in just so I can see this trailer! but  also RIP Paul Walker
<autarch> ok i'm ready
<autarch> sry
<autarch> about that
<Ampersand_> alright
<ratmate> everyone the KING IS READY NOW
<Ampersand_> START ON 1
<Ampersand_> 3
<Ampersand_> 2
<Ampersand_> 1
<Trebbers> bobbin my head already
<sideshowraheem> we're already rockin out
<ratmate> cant believe i saw this in theatres
<autarch> yeah this is some good music
<AnimeFilm> this is my jam
<Ampersand_> a bop
<sideshowraheem> we're indie rockin out
<AnimeFilm> LOS ANGELES, 2003
<ratmate> i think i gave it a positive review on my old movie message board
<autarch> this song is actually v nice
<autarch> john 316
<sideshowraheem> she's gonna get a stunner as soon as she walks in
<theroomkayke> oh dang I want a movie about that desk girl and her wig
<AnimeFilm> What does she study?
<autarch> this movie was made by a christian
<ratmate> this is a very veronica mars aesthetic
<Ampersand_> totally
<dan2> dead on
<Trebbers> Billy Zane is the only actor I recognize from this
<sideshowraheem> Veronica Mercury
<bob511> Not enough gel lighting to be Veronica Mars
<autarch> minka kelly
<autarch> i recognize her
<autarch> wait
<autarch> is that aly or aj from aly and aj?
<Trebbers> I know some of the names
<Ampersand_> need some t-shirts worn over long sleeved shirts to get the full V Mars feel
<sideshowraheem> Jon Gary Steele is a great name
<dan2> Ratzone
<theroomkayke> I love all these side characters, this movie looks so much older than it is
<ratmate> thats me
<ratmate> love putting pics of celebs on my wall
<Trebbers> Don't tape shit to your wall
<theroomkayke> AAAH it's bonnie from vamp diaries
<sideshowraheem> gonna lose that deposit
<Ampersand_> whoa, kayke, both Elena and Bonnie are in this
<Trebbers> hahaha
<theroomkayke> roommate diaries
<sideshowraheem> this guy is going fuckin nuts on that keyboard
<ratmate> ive never been to a house party with one of these live local bands crammed in the corner of the living room
<ratmate> but i always see them in movies
<autarch> this is giving me gilmore vibes
<ratmate> i saw a punk band in a garage once i guess
<Ampersand_> "i guess you can say i made you wet hyuck hyuck"
<theroomkayke> I've been to house parties with more bands than party guests
<AnimeFilm> idk if this is what college looks like
<autarch> ABC family vibes. The TV Show Greek. I never saw an episode, but I saw the trailer a ton and the song is burned into my brain.
<sideshowraheem> this guy is like 35
<Trebbers> yeah
<autarch> 3 cups and you automatically die. it's like Monster energy drink
<ratmate> he tried to charm her with date rape
<theroomkayke> He looks like an evil degrassi character
<sideshowraheem> he's ailed college since 1998
<sideshowraheem> f
<dan2> this guy seems like he's got it all figured out
<sideshowraheem> explains his hair
<ratmate> "wait, my date rape line didn't work??"
<autarch> love to take it off
<Trebbers> what in th world
<autarch> NO! TRACY! SHIT!!
<ratmate> he's doubling down
<bob511> Leaving the friend to just ride the elevator all night.
<theroomkayke> ew I hate this guy and his whole deal
<Trebbers> "The frat pays me in rape"
<dan2> oh ho ho, you scoundrel
<AnimeFilm> he really doesnt look separate from the frat guys
<ratmate> tim riggins would MURDER that guy
<sideshowraheem> this guy is taking dane cook's style like 3 years after he was popular
<autarch> that dude is like 15 years away from an aarp card
<Ampersand_> "you twin"
<Trebbers> uh a ghost
<autarch> damn
<lhs> rebarka
<autarch> "you so ugly i gotta barf"
<autarch> sick burn
<sideshowraheem> her shirt is still covered in beer
<Trebbers> Why is it so dark
<ratmate> my friend turned to me at that point in the film in the theatre and said
<ratmate> "She's the roommate"
<Trebbers> ahahah
<Ampersand_> lol
<ratmate> and he was totally serious
<dan2> lol
<sideshowraheem> ahaha rat
<sideshowraheem> proto chappie tweet
<autarch> hmmm. why is she up so early? somethings not right
<ratmate> she's young
<ratmate> you recover faster
<bob511> Little hair 'o the dog that roofie'd ya.
<autarch> i don't trust her. eerie music plays in her background
<Ampersand_> "yeah i drew you while you slept in your own vomit"
<Trebbers> Bookstore time boyeee
<autarch> "uh god"
<ratmate> wow there goes autarch's theory
<ratmate> good work, detective
<autarch> jfc
<dan2> looking back upon it, the Sony Ericson was a weird name for a phone
<ratmate> hate ex boyfriends
<bob511> ULA
<Trebbers> This girl is a dummy
<theroomkayke> that's what you get
<ratmate> he ditched the love of his life for a school named "Brown"
<sideshowraheem> I'm going to have difficulty telling these two apart even though they have slightly different hair
<Trebbers> I duretz
<sideshowraheem> speaking of hair
<autarch> clothes horse?
<dan2> TOTAL clothes horse
<theroomkayke> "clothes horse"?
<ratmate> people had the same problem with single white female raheem
<autarch> I'm a total weed horse
<ratmate> clothes? that's where i'm a trojan
<theroomkayke> at leas she's not a horse horse
<autarch> wow. she's a real art horse.
<dan2> "is this one dress...human skin?"
<Ampersand_> lol
<Trebbers> SPRINKLERS!
<ratmate> *flipping thru her dresses* these are my old roommates
<sideshowraheem> at least they're more different than The Covenant
<autarch> this is my roommate horse
<Ampersand_> how about beb
<ratmate> "oh totally cool"
<autarch> jfc
<dan2> big becky fan here
<AnimeFilm> beba
<dan2> the name, I mean
<Ampersand_> oh my
<autarch> beebop
<ratmate> here he is
<ratmate> the zanester
<Trebbers> yesyesyes
<Ampersand_> ominous fedora
<Trebbers> verang
<ratmate> playing a fashion professor is what billy zane was born to do
<dan2> Jason Zantham
<Ampersand_> let's just do the Billy Zane filmography
<AnimeFilm> she looks like britney spears
<theroomkayke> because of her hat, duh
<ratmate> "because im the protagonist"
<dan2> Actor (154 credits)
<Ampersand_> doable
<dan2> Ghosts of War (post-production) Actor
<dan2> I like the sounds of that
<Trebbers> The last couple years before Billy let the D'Onofrioing take hold
<theroomkayke> "two things I can't teach-- a hat and a scarf"
<autarch> "what about sex? can you teach sex?"
<ratmate> lol frienderz
<AnimeFilm> I didnt even know ive seen him in twin peaks
<ratmate> the only time ive sent someone a drink
<Trebbers> Wait are they supposed to be freshmen
<sideshowraheem> her head must be so sweaty right now
<ratmate> she absolutely destroyed me cause i didnt send her friends drinks too
<ratmate> so now i dont do that anymore
<ratmate> it was very embarrassing but also educational
<autarch> SOmeone needs to bust out a sick icebreaker
<Trebbers> Will be disappointed if the roommate doesn't wear that hat too
<autarch> holy shit
<autarch> collect call
<sideshowraheem> it's chekov's fedora, she has to talk about Sam Harris in the third act
<autarch> in 2011
<dan2> Night Stalks at the Diner
<Trebbers> Prisoners are the only people collect calling at this point
<theroomkayke> hmmm
<autarch> she seems nice
<theroomkayke> like I know she's crazy but if I didn't I'd be into it
<Ampersand_> we're walking into the modern pieces. hold onto your butts
<ratmate> id be at brown so fast after that
<ratmate> wow a camera?????
<Ampersand_> this one's going directly onto Friendzer
<theroomkayke> just kiss already
<Trebbers> "It's a fedora"
<sideshowraheem> da fuck
<Ampersand_> "i named this one Emily"
<autarch> hahaha
<dan2> lol amp
<ratmate> "i always wanted a sister i could kill"
<autarch> richard prince owns though
<Trebbers> Oh she only watches films
<Ampersand_> lol i love that the roommate is a snob
<ratmate> im not sure that was what the movie was about but ok
<Trebbers> ahahahah
<sideshowraheem> what the fuck is this song
<bob511> Need to frame that poster.
<AnimeFilm> sounds like empire of the sun
<ratmate> i wrote this song...
<autarch> drips from your eyeyeyeyes
<Trebbers> FedEx'ed that poster
<AnimeFilm> which is like an mgmt knock off from this time
<Ampersand_> RMMT
<Trebbers> ahah
<ratmate> lol
<dan2> back to the stable
<lhs> oh no
<Trebbers> Oh no kitty is not going to make it
<ratmate> this part is directly lifted from single white female
<AnimeFilm> lol
<sideshowraheem> The Devil Wears a Kitty
<ratmate> "i can't wait to kill this"
<autarch> "Tonight, we dine like kings"
<Ampersand_> pffffffft
<Trebbers> Cuddlz
<Trebbers> *puts necklace on Cuddlz*
<lhs> i'm so stressed out about the fate of this kitten
<ratmate> have you seen single white female, lhs?
<theroomkayke> she's gonna kill the dead sister
<lhs> nope
<ratmate> oh shit
<ratmate> im sorry
<autarch> hahahah
<ratmate> sick new york shirt
<sideshowraheem> jesus christ
<autarch> the shirt
<bob511> Lids.  Always forget lids.
<lhs> he's 40 today
<Ampersand_> i hate this man's face
<dan2> I genuinely shuddered when he did that smile
<theroomkayke> that guy is me
<theroomkayke> I want my mocha
<autarch> is that the guy from Phil of the Future?
<Trebbers> Guys in this shop all look like they
<autarch> the 40 year old guy
<Trebbers> 're from the local halfway home
<autarch> is that Phil from Phil of the Future?
<theroomkayke> their common room looks like the Dollhouse
<AnimeFilm> they really do look hard to tell apart
<autarch> label lord
<theroomkayke> such a label horse
<Trebbers> ahaah
<ratmate> oh god
<AnimeFilm> y i k e s
<theroomkayke> *screaming*
<autarch> ear horse
<Ampersand_> my kinda hardcore
<Trebbers> seems like it's more involved that that?
<sideshowraheem> oh no now she has the taste for human blood
<dan2> please, see a professional, like at the Piercing Pagoda
<Ampersand_> lol
<autarch> yeah there is nothing about her I don't like so far
<AnimeFilm> wait, that was the 'bad' one?
<Ampersand_> Piercing Pagoda is where i got my ear pierced
<Ampersand_> still leaking puss 20 years later
<lhs> it takes more work for me to get earrings in and my ears are pierced
<theroomkayke> be best friends with these two instead, they're rad
<lhs> she must have the bodily integrity of a two month old tangerine
<autarch> the only way rebecca could get better would be if she killed her
<ratmate> not weird at all
<autarch> "what do you mean?"
<autarch> "You're making a big fuss out of nothing"
<sideshowraheem> "you're just jealous because the audience can tell us apart"
<bob511> "Like some psycho, but single.  And white."
<Trebbers> ahah
<autarch> hahahah
<Trebbers> oh god BZ's tie
<ratmate> id watch a whole movie about billy zane's character
<ratmate> horny fashion professor
<sideshowraheem> fashion guy can barely tie his own tie
<dan2> I'm hoping Billy doesn't end up biting it
<Ampersand_> "i'm The Roommate!"
<autarch> I identify with the professor strongly. I've been horny before so I know how he feels.
<dan2> but I can't think of any other reason to make him a character
<Ampersand_> yeah he's way deas
<sideshowraheem> I feel like Zane might have to save her in the end
<Ampersand_> *dead
<lhs> zane designs her college prom dress
<sideshowraheem> wait who is this?
<theroomkayke> the friend from facebook
<theroomkayke> er friendzster
<sideshowraheem> Dane Book
<Ampersand_> taking it off, once again
<autarch> Why are there two love interests?
<Trebbers> This is like a love octagon
<AnimeFilm> shes "psycho"
<sideshowraheem> I wonder if this director has seen any Alfred Hitchcock movies
<autarch> Lame Crook
<AnimeFilm> Hes seen birdemic
<ratmate> chekhov's bellybutton ring
<autarch> aw, rats! no ass!
<theroomkayke> this is why you should always shower with a buddy
<autarch> it's the d'angelo video all over again
<Ampersand_> probably more Eli Roth's bellybutton ring
<dan2> see this is where my idea for a glow in the dark belly button ring would really pay off
<sideshowraheem> that one is going on celebbellybuttons.com
<autarch> one ring to rule them all
<Trebbers> just leave the room
<theroomkayke> this is when you say "I'm clean enough" and head back to your room
<Trebbers> what
<sideshowraheem> much like that scene in The Covenant she probably should have just left instead of looking around
<autarch> yessss
<sideshowraheem> no
<sideshowraheem> oh fuck
<Trebbers> clenched up
<AnimeFilm> ouchies
<sideshowraheem> this movie loves piercing pain
<dan2> not much of a quip horse, is she
<ratmate> she should've said
<ratmate> "don't forget to wash your belly button"
<theroomkayke> "I don't like it so I took the ring off it"
<autarch> chris hanson
<bob511> Plus, she's going to be covered in ringworm.
<Trebbers> Hope they don't up the piercing trauma for this dude
<sideshowraheem> she's going to take off his tats with a cheese grater
<Ampersand_> i hate this man passionately
<AnimeFilm> he seems like his name would be chadwick
<Ampersand_> Chadwick Broman
<theroomkayke> he looks a little like kristen bell's husband
<autarch> This guy has one facial expression
<Trebbers> Guy is having a hell of a time with his continuing legal education class
<AnimeFilm> his eyebrows fold over his eyes as natural sun protection
<Trebbers> Gonna take out a book in his name and not return it
<theroomkayke> being creepy makes you a ninja
<Ampersand_> we should crawl inside my hat together
<lhs> it seems like they actually hate each other
<autarch> to be fair, she's 35 as well
<autarch> so it's not that weird
<Trebbers> what
<Ampersand_> creep shot
<sideshowraheem> whoever made this loves midriff
<ratmate> this movie is full of navel gazing
<theroomkayke> put the dirty undies into the pizza box and slide he pizza box under the bed
<Trebbers> dude, you know she has low standards
<autarch> what a slob
<Trebbers> just fuck it
<AnimeFilm> aggressively shoves pizza slices into used socks
<Trebbers> Did we even see Jason?
<sideshowraheem> "yeah it's me but my hair is like 25% more blonde"
<ratmate> this song is a little on the nose
<AnimeFilm> thats a weird shot
<ratmate> the sister picture is a little much
<autarch> did this scene really need to go into another stanza?
<sideshowraheem> now this is directing
<lhs> not in front of the kitten
<autarch> don't make a sound
<ratmate> roommates live together, eat together, orgasm together
<Trebbers> Lets see some belly button tonging
<theroomkayke> power move
<Trebbers> "Don't lay down here"
<ratmate> cuddles is like "youre not going to believe what this psycho did"
<theroomkayke> lmao I love cuddles
<Ampersand_> the fuck is this hat
<sideshowraheem> they need to distinguish everyone with hats
<theroomkayke> E A T
<autarch> it's called a buray
<theroomkayke> bluray
<Ampersand_> and bu ray!
<autarch> and blue ray
<AnimeFilm> oh no
<sideshowraheem> this movei is almost as poorly lit as Gotti
<theroomkayke> : ((((
<theroomkayke> OMG
<ratmate> LHS, close your eyes
<autarch> jfc
<autarch> this is not good
<sideshowraheem> oh come on
<autarch> i'm out
<autarch> what the fuck
<autarch> this is so fucked
<lhs> :<
<autarch> did they actually harm any cats?
<Ampersand_> Cuddles is Fluffy now
<bob511> Can confirm that cats love warm laundry, though.
<Ampersand_> kittykarma
<AnimeFilm> yes 20 cuddles stunt doubles were harmed in the filming
<ratmate> the puppy in single white female got it worse
<theroomkayke> Why kill cuddles, just let it go
<Trebbers> Shit, what happened to cuddles
<ratmate> her violence is driven by an obsession with possession
<autarch> do you think the one who got her bellybutton ripped does her own stunts?
<lhs> i have to go pet my cats now, brb
<Trebbers> Dryer?
<ratmate> if she can't have the object of her desire, she destroys the object
<ratmate> i write about this in my book
<dan2> we didn't _see_ Cuddles actually die, so there's still a chance she comes back at the end to settle the score
<Ampersand_> HAT THE FUCK
<autarch> now he has a blu ray too
<ratmate> The Roommate
<theroomkayke> fashion
<dan2> this movie is a hat on a hat
<ratmate> KINKY
<autarch> kinky :ahuh:
<Ampersand_> dark vaginal recesses
<autarch> put a cork in her, zane
<Ampersand_> pull in closer, please, camera
<Trebbers> veering into Goldblum territory
<bob511> "One day you're shooting a movie in 2003, the next thing it gets released in 2011 and none of the clothing looks right."
<sideshowraheem> yikes, this is inzane
<theroomkayke> how could she resist that hat
<autarch> Why didn't she kiss him back? It's BILLY FUCKING ZANE!
<dan2> to think I looked up to you Billy
<lhs> wait billy zane kissed her?
<theroomkayke> yee
<autarch> yeah
<sideshowraheem> welp so much for the Zane saviour hypothesis
<lhs> what a scene to miss
<bob511> "Got an O in Psych"
<autarch> hahaha
<Ampersand_> lol
<autarch> bob5111
<sideshowraheem> *Billy Zane voice * My ex-wife
<autarch> Billy horny
<theroomkayke> "how to take them off!!!"
<dan2> "I'm really getting into fashion"
<autarch> what?!
<sideshowraheem> TAKE HIS HAT
<dan2> she's wearing a wire
<bob511> "You little teeth"
<autarch> jfc
<autarch> billy is awful
<Ampersand_> poor innocent lecher
<autarch> billy wtf
<Trebbers> This makes no sense
<autarch> another loveable teacher
<ratmate> so thats marc jacobs
<theroomkayke> A woman professor? wow
<autarch> yessss
<Ampersand_> that's what you call kittenkarma
<sideshowraheem> Warmplay
<autarch> this soundtrack rules
<dan2> The Walters?
<ratmate> is this dashboard confessional
<AnimeFilm> shes just being a guardian angel
<autarch> the walthers
<theroomkayke> what's a walther?
<sideshowraheem> it's a gun I think
<ratmate> the werthers would be a sick band name
<theroomkayke> lol rat
<sideshowraheem> that would certainly be original
<ratmate> WOW
<lhs> more like no patrol
<ratmate> lol
<Ampersand_> lol
<bob511> Plus, the dorm Internet is super fast over the break.
<autarch> I'm not so Keane on this band
<sideshowraheem> lol autarch
<theroomkayke> yikes
<theroomkayke> YIKES!!!
<Trebbers> Time to hijack a plane
<sideshowraheem> she's going to carve a backwards B into her face
<Trebbers> uh
<autarch> wtf are you doing like girl NOOO
<bob511> This is where we keep our peacock feathers and boxcutters.
<dan2> now she's gonna blackmail Cuddles
<AnimeFilm> this isnt the last navel we will see
<theroomkayke> I'll be hiding inside my t shirt until this is over
<theroomkayke> GO TO THE NURSE
<Trebbers> The belly button bandit
<lhs> good thing she knows how to sew
<autarch> "hell no, acab" - rebecca
<ratmate> this director is the tarantino of bellybuttons
<autarch> The curious case of Benjamin Bellybutton
<dan2> this guy looks like he's constantly been maced
<ratmate> lol
<theroomkayke> lol
<autarch> haha holy shit
<Trebbers> 1234
<autarch> 1234 murder avenue
<ratmate> welcome to PSYCHO PALACE
<theroomkayke> "these are my PARENTS' gardeners"
<ratmate> "this is the room where i learned to be a mate"
<autarch> jesus. what a ray of sunshine she is.
<Trebbers> Parents acting like they interrupted a sex party
<ratmate> look at her bed
<ratmate> that bed is a psychopath warning sign
<Ampersand_> "well i have had other roommates"
<theroomkayke> eye to turkey transition bops
<ratmate> i hope you don't mind eating HUMANS
<autarch> Hello, Mr. and Mrs. O'Path, your daughter Psych is here to see you
<sideshowraheem> dollar store tilda swinton married to dollar store Buffalo Bill
<AnimeFilm> Is this Jork Nicholson
<theroomkayke> dork brown
<sideshowraheem> actually dad looks like Kevin MacDonald as a Klingon
<autarch> "But have you ripped any belly buttons out?"
<autarch> "I'll just leave that comment hanging out there"
<dan2> a person taking medication? oh my GOD I can't believe it!
<sideshowraheem> stigmatize mental health much?
<AnimeFilm> could be her bellybutton medication
<bob511> "No, that's her doppelganger."
<theroomkayke> lol
<Ampersand_> kbye
<sideshowraheem> "her bellybutton is twice as big as yours"
<autarch> "jealous?"
<sideshowraheem> yikes
<lhs> the imdb keywords include "sexiness" and "coffee"
<Trebbers> Almost dropped her Sony Ericsson phone when she saw her
<theroomkayke> "we were just... classmates" that's the prequel
<bob511> Bad blood between the TVD and GG camps at the CW.
<autarch> "friendsterz would beg to differ"
<theroomkayke> whenever that noise happens I get scared we're going to see cuddle's corpse
<autarch> "Crazy Pills. 50 mg."
<ratmate> this is my fave scene
<sideshowraheem> "this is the drug that stops you from killing cats!"
<lhs> let's see what the parents guide says
<Trebbers> Cuddles is going to pressed into that book
<lhs> "She gives people a mental scare when she stares with an angry look. "
<autarch> "Anti-murder pills?"
<theroomkayke> lol raheem
<Trebbers> Rick
<dan2> watch it RICK
<autarch> RICK
<autarch> so sorry, RICK!
<Ampersand_> spoiled?
<autarch> haha
<autarch> pussy
<Trebbers> Driving a porsche
<autarch> can't believe you didn't want to play with fire while being doused in gasoline
<theroomkayke> ah a refreshing glass of glowstick
<sideshowraheem> she's more borderline personality than schizophrenia
<Trebbers> Fuck yea martini
<ratmate> dont drage irene into this
<autarch> are franz ferdinand gonna show up ever?
<theroomkayke> leave this lesbian alone
<sideshowraheem> is this the other woman I don't recognize her without her hat
<ratmate> no
<dan2> they make that stuff?
<ratmate> or is it
<ratmate> we'll never know
<ratmate> without the hat
<bob511> "Wait, let me apply my bellybuttonstick first."
<autarch> show the belly button
<autarch> "show me your bellybutton"
<Ampersand_> "as luck would have it, i live in this bathroom"
<autarch> ahahhaha
<theroomkayke> lol
<ratmate> lol
<theroomkayke> "leave a message on my door"??
<theroomkayke> is that a thing?
<lhs> voice snail mail
<ratmate> that was like part of a dutch angle
<sideshowraheem> wait is their room huge now?
<ratmate> its the dutch angle
<lhs> always get tattooed at hot topic
<bob511> Well, without that gigantic kitten taking up all the space...
<theroomkayke> yeah you need two people to be T.A.T.U
<autarch> a 3rd bellybutton?
<ratmate> *gets a tattoo of a bellybutton*
<Trebbers> here we go
<sideshowraheem> yikes
<Trebbers> haah
<theroomkayke> you freak
<ratmate> UH OH
<bob511> Did Emily also have "emily" tattooed on her chest?
<dan2> I already have an Emily, and she's my boob
<autarch> She's gonna get a red tattoo of her bellybutton slightly to the right of her bellybutton and a blue one slightly to the left of her bellybutton so you can look at her bellybutton in 3D
<Trebbers> Turn it up
<Trebbers> Dum dum
<AnimeFilm> (accidentally paused the film, and eh im just gonna head out. Take care)
<theroomkayke> Stephen you dumdum you scoop neck having dumdum
<ratmate> animefilm might be the roommate
<sideshowraheem> "lift up your shirt"
<theroomkayke> those chain curtains are interesting
<theroomkayke> no swords can penetrate those curtains
<sideshowraheem> "I can't tell who this is it looks like every woman in this movie"
<Ampersand_> how can anyone leave when there's a guaranteed 4-12 more hats
<theroomkayke> their quad is the confederate flag
<lhs> ITT TEK
<autarch> gamers
<autarch> they're a dime a dozene
<theroomkayke> the comforting sight of gamers
<sideshowraheem> is this the first time we're seeing this guy
<Trebbers> yeah
<Ampersand_> who could say for sure
<autarch> the walthers!
<theroomkayke> "please love jason"
<ratmate> lol
<ratmate> this movie is full of deans and logans
<ratmate> no jess
<dan2> now she's a horse of a different color
<theroomkayke> YEAS THE HAT
<autarch> that's spot on
<sideshowraheem> oh shit it really was chekov's fedora
<autarch> there's no jess to be seen
<dan2> It's more of a she-dora
<Trebbers> ahah
<theroomkayke> she still looks blonde
<lhs> when has a boyfriend ever noticed that, kayke
<theroomkayke> lol
<sideshowraheem> the lost Paul brother is in for a surprise
<sideshowraheem> it's every day bro
<ratmate> exacto'd
<Ampersand_> guess he came
<autarch> jfc
<dan2> he's gonna need some Paulbearers now
<autarch> looks like you're about to come....to an end
<sideshowraheem> Goodnight Irene
<sideshowraheem> that fucking french sign is so pretentious
<bob511_> Entree de Artistes, huh?
<sideshowraheem> I'm glad she's dead
<autarch> live laugh love
<ratmate> everyone thats been a victim has been horny
<sideshowraheem> oh I thought she was gonna be a rotted corpse
<autarch> jfc
<dan2> that is not what I needed at 11:35
<sideshowraheem> where did she get the gun
<ratmate> raheem
<ratmate> its america
== bob511_ has changed nick to bob511
<autarch> NOT!
<Trebbers> sheeet
<lhs> gotta buy another devil wears prada poster
<sideshowraheem> kick her in the bellybutton!
<autarch> jfc
<Trebbers> Just barricade that door
<theroomkayke> lmao
<theroomkayke> this is so much
<Ampersand_> quality curtains
<ratmate> of course he has no problem punching her
<sideshowraheem> it's ok Kevin Costner taught him how to kill someone without anyone finding out
<Ampersand_> "but... you accepted my friend request"
<lhs> "oh shit, i always forget to buy bullets"
<Trebbers> no cops huh
<Ampersand_> kiss kiss!
<sideshowraheem> mohammed atta special bitch
<Trebbers> sick
<autarch> kick her face in while she's down you dummy
<theroomkayke> rip the tattoo off her boob
<autarch> boo!
<lhs> stephen was three days away from graduation
<ratmate> from drummer to dumber
<sideshowraheem> Drummer is dead?
<bob511> She gets automatic A's now, right?
<ratmate> shes fine with jason being dead huh
<autarch> can't get over this guy's face
<Trebbers> lol?
<sideshowraheem> his face looks like homer after he eats the super sour candy
<Ampersand_> montage of them pissing on the bed together over the end credits
<dan2> Handsome Guy
<sideshowraheem> Dennis Miller: This movie was so navel dominated it might as well be commanded by admiral Nimitz
<dan2> Mocha Kid
<Ampersand_> Woman Professor
<autarch> there were too many characters
<Ampersand_> too on the nose
<Trebbers> hha raheem
<ratmate> slacker co-worker
<theroomkayke> #mochakid
<ratmate> that guy got fucking burned
<ratmate> we didnt even see him slack
<sideshowraheem> too many characters? what is this friggin twitter 9 months ago?
<ratmate> i hope those of you with roommates sleep safe tonight
<theroomkayke> snappy oliver
<dan2> Chad B. Daring
<sideshowraheem> Animals of distinction
<sideshowraheem> RIP cuddles
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:50 am

This Thursday,

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Postby Ampersand » Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:15 pm

bump. tomorrow!
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Postby important dentist » Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:05 pm

back from vacation and am excited to come back for this. could have sworn y'all did from justin to kelly before i started watching in 2012 but i could be wrong

while on vacay i caught the beginning of a new lifetime movie called "killer single dad" that looked bonkers enough for us
"My foremost duty is to the board," Important Dentist countered. "I
cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:21 pm

important dentist wrote:while on vacay i caught the beginning of a new lifetime movie called "killer single dad" that looked bonkers enough for us


I'm already anticipating the sequel, Dead(beat) Single Dad.
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Postby donna martin » Wed Jul 11, 2018 8:20 pm

on the one hand i've always know The Great Wall was racist appropriation garbage.

but that poster just ... really brings it home.
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Postby Bob511 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 10:38 pm

donna martin wrote:on the one hand i've always know The Great Wall was racist appropriation garbage.
On the one hand, yeah, naturally; it had Edward Zwick and Max Brooks work on it.

In the end I think it comes off more as a sort of cargo-cult Chinese appropriation/mash-up of the Hollywood-formula blockbuster that we're almost certainly going to get more and more of as time goes on, though.
universe, you can't play the willfully ignorant, but partisan bleeding heart
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:56 pm

Check the db or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:25 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight!
Check the db or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:27 pm

1.5 hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:50 pm

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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:11 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: The Great Wall
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:46 pm

Code: Select all
<autarch> 3
<lhs> gobi or go home
<autarch> 2
<autarch> 1
<dan2> lol lhs
<impdentist> i still don't understand how this got made with so many white dudes starring
<impdentist> it's 2018
<donnamartin> oh dear
<animefilm> (thanks I think im synced)
<dan2> Well, technically 2016
<bob511> Pretty sure the Chinese love white movie stars?
<impdentist> oh are they actually white in the movie
<dan2> yeah, this was strictly for china
<besoin> they're white men going east to discover gunpowder
<sideshowraheem> too bad it's not a Brian Dennehy IS Kublai Khan situation
<besoin> pay attention, imp
<Ampersand_> mm fresh horses tasty
<autarch> the moon is strong. yeah tell me something i don't know
<donnamartin> magnets, how do they work?
<lhs> his poncho is straight out of 1995
<Trebbers> Yeah, fuck your magnet
<animefilm> did he call him amigo?
<besoin> yes, he's spanish
<Trebbers> About to ask
<Ampersand_> he called him "amagnet"
<Trebbers> aha
<lhs> what happened to the russian subs
<donnamartin> it's the great spanish migration to china
<autarch> "hey does anyone have a spare magnet?" yeah, just take it, it's useless. Ive been carrying it around
<sideshowraheem> he preferred Left 4 Dead 2 because it had more guns
<dan2> I think it may just be for on screen text
<dan2> I'm assuming all it says was how long the wall was
<donnamartin> the mother of dragons
<dan2> "I don't know, the camera was swinging around too much!"
<impdentist> oh mannnnn
<animefilm> He just sliced a flying turkey leg
<Trebbers> "I don't know, this is shot so confusingly"
<sideshowraheem> "I saw this incredibly dumb plan in the last season of game of thrones"
<Trebbers> Assistant bastards
<impdentist> is damon irish
<Trebbers> Spanish
<donnamartin> why not?
<bob511> Polo-ish.
<dan2> just like Sean Connery in Highlander
<impdentist> yeah that's exactly what i was thinking
<Trebbers> "fuck it!"
<donnamartin> solid cgi work there
<autarch> boioioioioing
<lhs> boioioioing
<bob511> They've wandered onto the set of Hero
<autarch> hahaha
<animefilm> woah where did this wall come from
<donnamartin> suicide by arrow storm
<impdentist> how did they not see that
<Trebbers> Oh, that thing
<besoin> the wall's a beaut
<donnamartin> oh they already built it movie over
<bob511> It's visible from space, not from the ground.
<Trebbers> Looks small from the curb
<animefilm> seems like a lot of people employed to stand on the wall and watch an empty desert
<autarch> kill them all
<impdentist> i think the idea of putting your hands up is that you don't have weapons in them
<impdentist> oh ok
<bob511> So is your guy's copy doing this in Cyrillic too?
<besoin> these guys look really organized
<sideshowraheem> "emperor we found some white guys!"
<dan2> when you really gotta go
<donnamartin> the highlanders are coming!
<impdentist> oh shit we're not going to get any translations
<autarch> there's gonna be a hot chick in this movie isn't there
<autarch> oh there she is
<Trebbers> Looks like some Final Fantasy shit
<donnamartin> plot twist
<bob511> "Can you tell us what these subtitles have been saying?"
<sideshowraheem> classic english guy making everyone speaking english
<dan2> I knew I should have downloaded the UHD rip
<Trebbers> oh no
<animefilm> She looks like shes from world of warcraft
<donnamartin> let's just decide what they're saying
<dan2> World of Wallcraft
<autarch> that color didn't exist until the 90s
<lhs> the only russian word i know is "restaurant" because it looks like PECTOPAH
<autarch> that shade of blue
<bob511> They're skeptical.
<donnamartin> "this guy needs a shower"
<Trebbers> Trying to decide who wants to fuck Damon more
<impdentist> DAFOE
<sideshowraheem> I just don don'd me that Damon's accent sound like a Newfoundlander
<animefilm> spotted him
<besoin> willem dafoe playing the same role as the florida project
<bob511> They're still skeptical.
<animefilm> Hes the landlord of the wall
<sideshowraheem> which I guess makes sense because he's an American trying to do an Irish(?) accent
<impdentist> he should just do the boston accent
<bob511> Except the guy with the cap believes them.
<donnamartin> there's always at least one worm trying to undermine the woman leader
<impdentist> who cares
<lhs> their armor is dyed like bridesmaid dresses
<Trebbers> Asking for the key for the bathroom
<besoin> the power rangers' aunts and uncles
<Ampersand_> good thing the non-english-speaking characters are so marginal. we'd really be lost otherwise
<autarch> who's the other white guy?
<animefilm> is there supposed to be subtitles for the chinese parts
<Ampersand_> probably!
<autarch> that cgi is so bad
<donnamartin> maybe, but i'm just gonna invent their dialogue
<bob511> This is where the Olympic drummers and pollution ended up.
<bob511> (Also, yes, there are forced English subs)
<animefilm> you killed a tao discount?
<bob511> He can't find the key.
<autarch> the prophecy told of a "white savior". we believe you to be he.
<donnamartin> lol always that guy
<besoin> can the dragons not fly over the wall
<donnamartin> their wings are stunted by the pollution
<bob511> Not Chinese dragons?
<lhs> it's out of their jurisdiction
<animefilm> (timecheck? I see no dragons)
<besoin> oh, right, a mushu situation
<dan2> that's the hood ornament
<impdentist> no dragons yet, just speculation
<donnamartin> or the smoke monster
<impdentist> is this accurate
<besoin> very elaborate game of wild and crazy kids
<Ampersand_> this is a pretty good wall
<donnamartin> yes, it's a documentary dentist
<Ampersand_> wouldn't call it great
<dan2> time for the most serious Hungry Hungry Hippos game you ever saw
<animefilm> "I dont think we are in mexico anymore"
<bob511> Did they play vertical lacrosse on the side of the Great Wall?  No, I think that's creative license.
<donnamartin> maybe trump watched this movie
<dan2> Speed Racer didn't have colors like these dude's suits!
<bob511> Trump has definitely fastforwarded through this movie looking for anyone doing splits.
<impdentist> i was really under the impression until half an hour ago that this was supposed to be a depiction of some actual historical event
<sideshowraheem> "we're going to build a wall and investors who are going to make their money 3 times over in the international markets are going to pay for it!"
<besoin> didn't they actually build the wall to keep the mongolians out
<besoin> are they saying mongolians are like dragons
<dan2> same here, but for the last 2 years dentist
<dan2> I'm much happier that it's this though
<autarch> look at this army
<impdentist> yeah seriously
<donnamartin> i like that damon is just here for audience perspective
<autarch> lol
<besoin> and their defense spending as a percentage of gdp is still way below present day america
<dan2> lol
<autarch> i didn't even realize that was damon until donnamartin said so
<donnamartin> ahaha
<animefilm> how is that practical of a setup in anyway
<donnamartin> the russian is back
<animefilm> any way
<autarch> hahaha
<autarch> what the fuck
<bob511> Blue drums are for snipers.
<besoin> blue man group on drums
<Trebbers> What do you have to do to get on drum duty
<Ampersand_> chinese meatballs are weird
<sideshowraheem> those are some nasty dumplings
<Trebbers> lolol
<donnamartin> hell yes flaming hot bllas
<autarch> this shot
<autarch> this fucking shot
<animefilm> i feel like im playing age of empires
<donnamartin> yessssssssssssssss
<dan2> this is getting me nostalgic for the PS2 era Lord of the Rings games
<Trebbers> ahahhhaaha
<donnamartin> it's dragonsssss
<autarch> ssfeffsfesefefessfeewwwww
<impdentist> kill cam
<sideshowraheem> Stranger Things season 3
<autarch> oh fuck
<donnamartin> oh my god i did not think this is what this was
<donnamartin> i'm so happy
<lhs> the revenge of cuddles
<autarch> there's so many
<autarch> lol
<bob511> Oh, Crane Corps time
<dan2> the first tower defense feature film
<besoin> uh oh, what's this
<donnamartin> what
<impdentist> does the backflip help
<Trebbers> what in the world
<donnamartin> what are they even doing?
<autarch> a little cirque du soleil action
<animefilm> seems like theyve done this before
<dan2> stomping on the head does more damage
<sideshowraheem> single use seems like a waste of spears
<dan2> damon just looking on is killing me
<autarch> it's most efficient to do back flips
<besoin> take my wife, please
<donnamartin> this seems...
<Ampersand_> lol
<donnamartin> like not a great idea
<Trebbers> Seems like an avoidable casualty
<autarch> yeah how is that a good strategy
<dan2> can these things actually climb or break though the wall?
<Trebbers> ahahh
<impdentist> they have arrows
<autarch> look
<Trebbers> gif
<dan2> ahahah
<animefilm> jesus they have not figured out good war technology yet
<autarch> that guy has alzheimers
<besoin> uh, hm
<impdentist> ohp
<donnamartin> newman is gonna get eaten
<bob511> There's the Queen
<dan2> Wave Two: Begin
<besoin> we know so little about chinese history
<autarch> wait. wayne knight is in this?
<donnamartin> power shield deflect
<animefilm> lol
<animefilm> wargs: the movie
<Trebbers> You need to sell some of your crappy turrets and get new ones
<donnamartin> oh my god it's WWZ
<bob511> And you guys were dogging on the Crane Corps
<autarch> this doesn't make sense.
<autarch> why are they drumming. why are the things attacking
<Trebbers> Wait nunchuks on drums
<animefilm> fuck we spent all our military budget on drums
<besoin> seems like the jig is up
<donnamartin> this does not seem like they can win
<impdentist> feel like this will be ineffective
<animefilm> why did we wear bright colors when there are rampaging wargs
<Trebbers> looks so bad
<lhs> you go and fight
<autarch> yeah nunchucks on drums is genius
<autarch> the most racist shit ever
<dan2> Wallem Dafoe
<besoin> haha
<Trebbers> ahah
<impdentist> ah yes
<Trebbers> sick
<donnamartin> literal white savoir
<animefilm> William Dafriend
<Ampersand_> the mouth is the eyes of the heart
<impdentist> does it have eyes like halfway down its neck
<lhs> thank you, europe
<donnamartin> comeon
<animefilm> its like watching a videogame
<Trebbers> Wonder how much of the 150m was Damon's salary
<animefilm> in coop mode
<besoin> oh gosh
<besoin> toro
<impdentist> oh come on
<donnamartin> oh good lord
<Trebbers> Oh bullfighting joke
<autarch> shouldn't more of them have scurvy? just historically speaking
<autarch> yeah that was a good joke. credit where credit is due
<donnamartin> i can't decide if i'm more offended by the cgi or racism
<besoin> the latter
<dan2> racism towards white people you mean?
<donnamartin> okay fair but the cgi...
<autarch> i've seen that shot before.
<sideshowraheem> it would be great if Dafoe got eaten before he was able to give any exposition
<autarch> where he's sliding and doing an arrow
<impdentist> feel like they could have had that one
<animefilm> ill wait till the racist cgi enters the fold
<besoin> why are they retreating?
<lhs> that one's an organ donor
<donnamartin> wait weren't htey winning?
<besoin> damon killed like three of them
<Ampersand_> lol lhs
<sideshowraheem> they could have easily killed them all
<Trebbers> I want to see the funerals
<dan2> it is pretty shameful that they turned a great tragedy like this into some popcorn fodder to make a few buck
<theratwall> whoa
<Trebbers> I assume that's why they took the dead back
<besoin> ho ho ho
<autarch> why does the valley look like a halfpipe?
<impdentist> was the great wall really at the end of a scary canyon like that
<dan2> here are subtitles that seem to be in synch, I just uploaded them  https://dbr.ee/Jjxi
<besoin> please don't bow to them
<donnamartin> is this a buddy cop movie, a historical non-fiction drama, or a war drama
<lhs> the great wall was in a lot of places
<animefilm> they earned general tsaos praise?
<dan2> and it does seem like the chinese language has translations
<impdentist> are we going to need those subs
<impdentist> it seems like a lot of effort
<donnamartin> oh do they get a free dinner then? maybe chicken?
<dan2> only if you feel like it
<autarch> dan you're a savior
<autarch> a white savior
<dan2> like, do you think following the story will change you viewing experience
<autarch> idk
<lhs> i'm watching via usb stick on my tv so i'll just have to use my imagination
<besoin> you subtitleless fools are missing a lot
<bob511> Apparently, the Nameless Order still have names.
<besoin> you know nothing about strategist wang
<impdentist> oh nice it works, that was easy
<donnamartin> yah thanks dan
<Ampersand_> no way. i refuse to read The Great Wall
<donnamartin> the wall has secrets?
<Trebbers> Tobar
<Ampersand_> Toblerone?
<autarch> dan, you're a computer genius. thank you.
<donnamartin> yeah dan do you work for geek squad?
<donnamartin> that was magic
<donnamartin> dafoe gonna dafoe
<Trebbers> Clean up how
<autarch> they want cocaine?
<dan2> all I did was translate and type out all of the chinese dialogue language myself, it was nothing special
<besoin> doesn't the powder seem unimportant now?
<donnamartin> yeah there's 3,000 death dragons who will tear you apart
<dan2> Matt Shavin'
<donnamartin> and you want powder?
<autarch> okay. alright. damon clean up nice
<bob511> Still look kind of smelly, to be honest.
<besoin> white people! [applause]
<impdentist> they took out like 3
<donnamartin> oh ffs now we're applauding grown men for bathing?
<impdentist> come on
<lhs> congrats on taking a fucking bath
<autarch> haha
<donnamartin> amazing what medicore white men can do to fail up
<autarch> hehehe
<donnamartin> now imagine this movie with Riggs and Murtah
<impdentist> perhaps my english is not that good... is that a common phrase?
<besoin> hoping for an archery contest
<donnamartin> sweet
<dan2> Time for Damon to wear the sorting hat to learn what color armor he's gonna be
<bob511> Damn it, dan, I was trying to work out that joke.
<besoin> these guys don't really seem genuine about honoring damon and toblerone
<donnamartin> this is like weekend at bernie's if they went to china
<Trebbers> It's a very elaborate roast
<impdentist> the 1-2-3 isn't really helpful
<dan2> yesss
<donnamartin> oh come on
<sideshowraheem> lol
<autarch> this is so stupid
<autarch> i love it
<dan2> the original DudePerfect
<Trebbers> *slowclap*
<autarch> i absolutely love shit like that
<Ampersand_> the knight of cups
<dan2> lol amp
<donnamartin> matt damon in the meeting "so basically, it's two buddy bros in china. hijinks ensue"
<besoin> "where does the boston angle come in?:
<bob511> That's not what always means.
<autarch> lol
<autarch> dropkick murphys when?
<besoin> is he using chopsticks
<besoin> quick learner
<donnamartin> this dad accent is...
<lhs> he should just be using an arrow to spear his food
<autarch> love that he just has an american accent in this movie.
<donnamartin> wait wasn't he just a highlander? when did he become boston?
<animefilm> the age of empires soundtrack
<impdentist> he's trying to be irish i am pretty sure
<besoin> it was nice of the dragons to let them spend 250 years building all of this
<bob511> Damon watching the copy with the Russian subs, too.
<donnamartin> this is not his best acting effort
<donnamartin> like, i think he tried harder in we built a zoo
<animefilm> why is he out there without a rope
<besoin> we built a wall
<sideshowraheem> We Built a Wall
<sideshowraheem> FUCK
<besoin> :)
<Ampersand_> lol
<autarch> these aren't bungie cords. they're just fucking ropes
<donnamartin> aga
<besoin> she's going to teach him to bowl
<besoin> "like this, baby"
<sideshowraheem> then how do you eat?
<donnamartin> this is some fucking war propoganda. is 3 doors down gonna show up?
<dan2> do you think they get a lot of monter guts in their hair with it being this long?
<donnamartin> oh irish came back
<besoin> one of the strangest accents in movie history
<sideshowraheem> yeah this is some insanely bad acting from Damon
<sideshowraheem> he's putting it all into his accent
<donnamartin> it's some nic cage accenting
<dan2> the spending round is almost over, get all of your upgrades before the next wave
<donnamartin> god dafoe is kicking their acting asses
<besoin> no surprise there
<dan2> Dafoe spent 3 months living on the Great Wall to prepare
<donnamartin> this is like, when charlize was in scenes with vin diesel and it was so obvious how bad vin is
<besoin> ehhh
<donnamartin> in terms of disparity of performance
<besoin> i was ehhh'ing the magnet revelation
<impdentist> did the chinese really not have magnets
<donnamartin> wait this is the goddamn plot?
<dan2> wow, Chinese technology really was ahead of everyone else back then
<autarch> ancient chinese legend, eh?
<autarch> what if damon have ipad?
<impdentist> weird that they show the cgi rendering process right in the movie
<besoin> sounds like some unfortunate weaknesses in this dragon queen
<dan2> "The entire world would get Zerg rushed"
<sideshowraheem> lol dan
<donnamartin> i truly cannot believe this is the plot
<impdentist> there's like 30 towers, how is one "the west tower"
<besoin> couldn't one dragon kill this entire unit
<impdentist> this formation was totally ineffective earlier
<Ampersand_> Master Shredder inspired flash mob
<sideshowraheem> those shields seem very impractical, you're way more likely to cut yourself
<besoin> good thing they sent out their two most important people
<besoin> welp
<impdentist> heroes automatically regenerate health
<autarch> "what'd i miss?"
<dan2> he's just missing his torso, he'll be fine
<sideshowraheem> "Make the white guy the general now"
<besoin> yep
<donnamartin> yeah this is some velocoraptor shit
<autarch> "give this to matt"
<impdentist> the infinity stones!
<Ampersand_> "i know it's a little gaudy, my grandma had bad taste.."
<sideshowraheem> oh Tao Tei is two words
<donnamartin> wait where did the headbands come from
<besoin> east tower
<impdentist> in their funeral ritual they just dump him over the wall
<autarch> lighting a turd on fire and floating it over to the monsters
<dan2> _insane_ kite budget on this
<sideshowraheem> they're going to accidently burn down the city behind the wall
<autarch> greaet prank
<besoin> i want my funeral to be like this
<dan2> Raise the Dead Lantern
<donnamartin> the dragons are gonna show up right now and kill them all
<autarch> they should have called this movie The Great Drums
<animefilm> Do you think they could play heroes?
<theratwall> okay ive dozed off like 6 times
<theratwall> what the hell is going on
<donnamartin> there are dragons
<donnamartin> or something
<autarch> nobody knows
<dan2> you have to bungee to kill them
<autarch> it's so stupid
<animefilm> chinese leader general got a viking funeral
<donnamartin> well, we know there are alien dragons
<donnamartin> oh magnets are part of this
<autarch> this is actually starting to make good sense, scientifically
<autarch> wow. genius
<impdentist> nets don't work!
<sideshowraheem> like a whale?
<autarch> huh?
<autarch> a water beast?
<animefilm> water tao tei
<Ampersand_> hook that bone
<autarch> no. we don't have whales in china.
<donnamartin> maybe this is where insane clown posse got it's idea
<impdentist> they have a word for "spain"?
<theratwall> moby dick
<dan2> yeah, but how many chances do you get to eat dragon meat
<theratwall> lol the door didnt close
<donnamartin> oh man, i hope the dragons dont wake up before they sneak back from the party
<animefilm> too many rituals going on here
<besoin> someone went to pottery barn
<autarch> why is every soldier so well armed? that's so unrealistic.
<impdentist> *run away with me* starts playing
<dan2> those lantern kites they sent out caused a huge forest fire
<theratwall> IOH NO
<theratwall> THE CORN
<dan2> callin it now, he's a traitor for the dragons
<theratwall> god i love willem dafoe
<autarch> willem dafraud
<besoin> ricoolllaaaa
<animefilm> hes like a skyrim npc
<theratwall> do you wanna hear my willem dafoe story
<impdentist> oh they're hearing things
<impdentist> i thought they were gonna go tooooot
<donnamartin> the wall is telling htem its secrets
<impdentist> wow they did not work at alllll
<theratwall> i thought those were horns
<sideshowraheem> Death squad?
<donnamartin> that's grim
<impdentist> death squad is seal team 6
<besoin> should have used this earlier
<autarch> they just gonna gas em?
<autarch> this is so stupid
<Trebbers> ahahha
<impdentist> ahahahaha
<dan2> that's the squad people get put on when every other squad has been taken at the squad fair
<sideshowraheem> ok that weapn kicks ass
<donnamartin> okay that's dope
<animefilm> a 14 year old made this movie
<Ampersand_> need his bone?
<dan2> Zhang Yimou made this
<Ampersand_> jeez
<Ampersand_> thristy
<animefilm> need his weed bowl
<besoin> he needs his glasses!
<dan2> and hopefully got paid
<donnamartin> i would like to suggest they stop sending peopel to dive off the wall
<autarch> they're gonna have to wrestle one with their bare hands
<animefilm> srsly if this happens every day....
<dan2> Damon doing as little as he can get by doing every battle
<theratwall> how do you think matt damon sleeps at night
<besoin> teach an ancient culture to fish
<autarch> there's sleeping potion?
<donnamartin> i imagine damon sleeps fine. he's rich af.
<besoin> bigger chains next time
<impdentist> his name is william?
<animefilm> he probably lives in a replica of a blue collar boston neighborhood, but on an island
<autarch> it's good will hunting 2
<dan2> yesss
<theratwall> screaming arrowa
<autarch> hahaha
<Trebbers> Damon is all like, "Wait, this is going to play in the US market?"
<theratwall> you cant do that
<theratwall> you cant slide down a giant chain
<autarch> he should be grinding on a skateboard
<lhs> not with that attitude
<donnamartin> maybe it just wants to be a friend
<Ampersand_> snuggle that pup
<impdentist> yeah i've done it in tony hawk
<donnamartin> see now it's all sad and wounded
<besoin> why did the other two millions dragons leave
<impdentist> i fail to understand how this makes it easier for them to pull
<impdentist> or why he needed the screaming arrows
<Trebbers> "Gonna put you under a sunlamp and feed you crickets"
<donnamartin> ahahahahahaha
<animefilm> what does dafoe want anyway? to steal their powder?
<dan2> they're fighting sentient Gushers
<Ampersand_> lol
<impdentist> he just wants to go back to wherever
<sideshowraheem> this movie is approaching Snyder slo-mo levels
<impdentist> france or whatever
<animefilm> lol, the official gushers movie
<theratwall> that axe is too big
<Trebbers> waht
<donnamartin> ahahaha
<autarch> what?
<Ampersand_> these dragons shouldn't have installed whistle tips in themselves
<dan2> oh my GOD
<impdentist> what the
<theratwall> they just touched axes
<donnamartin> this is so amazing
<impdentist> why are they doing that
<autarch> yeah just waste all your arrows on the ax
<animefilm> the axe makes a rocket sound
<donnamartin> i wanna meet the person who went to the theater to seriously watch this
<autarch> it's morse code
<besoin> oh commander lin
<theratwall> morse code arrows
<impdentist> he's going to shoot the arrows in such a way that it actually sounds like the word "HELP" in chinese
<sideshowraheem> if this had come out when I was in high school I definitely would have seen it in the theatre
<donnamartin> wait they had this all along?
<theratwall> jesus
<autarch> what?
<impdentist> ah
<donnamartin> why didn't they just blow them up all along?
<Trebbers> They were trying to keep the M80s around until the 4th
<lhs> i am definitely going to sample the wall drums and screaming arrows
<besoin> just blow up the fucking queen next time
<autarch> ok
<dan2> he's going to slowly boost his friend back up the wall by shooting him a million times
<autarch> this is some mummy shit right here
<sideshowraheem> they just send all these fuckin chinese people do die on the wall but open it up to save Damon
<autarch> hahaha
<autarch> typical tough guy
<theratwall> do you think that's matt's real hair
<donnamartin> i hope not
<theratwall> scars are sexy
<donnamartin> his back is not sexy
<theratwall> i was not being sincere
<theratwall> is there such a thing as a sexy back though
<theratwall> sexy backs are hard to come by i find
<autarch> yeah, they could've used some cgi on that back
<donnamartin> JT knows all about it
<sideshowraheem> well Justin Timberlake thinks so
<sideshowraheem> god dammit
<theratwall> lol
<lhs> yeah, cgi some eyeballs onto that back
<donnamartin> :)
<besoin> off your game, raheem
<theratwall> raheem sidenote: kawhi to the raptors god bless
<donnamartin> oh fuck this did not go well in jurassic park
<autarch> why aren't they shooting arrows at it?
<sideshowraheem> is that real or just a rumor?
<donnamartin> they had a lawsuit and everything
<theratwall> its real
<donnamartin> oh fuck
<theratwall> meat stick
<besoin> slow clap?
<autarch> slow clap again
<donnamartin> there's a goddman SLOW CLAP
<animefilm> How do you think they trained them to do the battle scenes?
<besoin> wait. who is this guy?
<donnamartin> who is anyone?
<autarch> oh jesus there's so much movie left
<theratwall> the chinese invented the slow clap
<besoin> commander lin is commander lin
<besoin> and then there's toblerone
<autarch> forgot about toblerone
<sideshowraheem> oh this guy is Chekov's wuss
<donnamartin> fuck i have to be up early for a doctor's appt too
<theratwall> that will be fun to explain
<theratwall> "Donna you look exhausted"
<donnamartin> yeah, i failed my eye exam because of damon
<theratwall> "well the dragons werent gonna kill themselves"
<autarch> well maybe they will, we dont know. and with these magnets, I wouldn't count it out
<donnamartin> i really cannot get over the magnets
<Ampersand_> a thief? a cook? a lover?
<impdentist> a midnight toker
<donnamartin> lol
<besoin> the pompatus of...dragons?
<autarch> the poet, the pharmacist
<sideshowraheem> Dafoe has spent 100% of this movie hiding behind pillars
<autarch> the physician, , the farmer, the scientist The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends
<theratwall> at the very least this movie makes this wall look really sexy
<besoin> toblerone is going to pass on what he learned here to help columbus genocide hispanola in the epilogue
<animefilm> Dafoe will die falling off the wall with his hands reaching for the camera, i suspect
<theratwall> no dafoe's gotta die in some quiet backstabbing scene
<impdentist> that seems reasonable
<theratwall> so they can push in on his face
<impdentist> chekhov's wall
<theratwall> with his big mouth and eyes
<bob511> Not so great mortar for the great wall.
<donnamartin> subtle
<autarch> wait, are they traitors now?
<theratwall> a traitor is just a hero for the other side
<autarch> booom
<besoin> never go back to a dud, willem
<animefilm> thats a large russian egg
<donnamartin> this movie can't resist a gag
<bob511> The apron over the intricate armor
<donnamartin> tiny kitchen for a big wall
<impdentist> they have to do kitchen work and everything in their armor?
<animefilm> "damn i left the kiln on''
<Ampersand_> "i need a cigarette"
<besoin> just leave him
<besoin> jesus
<donnamartin> i would do anything for love, but i won't do that...
<autarch> he's got a new willem
<autarch> he doesn't need this one
<donnamartin> oh fuck
<Trebbers> ahahh
<besoin> how do ya like them apples
<dan2> then he actually is dead
<autarch> looks like he's dropped his marbles
<donnamartin> doesn't seem liek they're good at this wall protecting
<impdentist> ahhhhh
<autarch> they gon' die
<donnamartin> so wait what are they doing?
<donnamartin> releasing a poison?
<autarch> hahah
<autarch> what's this
<besoin> wouldya look at this little asshole
<theratwall> this wont end well
<autarch> no it doesn't
<autarch> the magnet doesn't work.
<autarch> the beast is bluffing.
<autarch> calling it right here.
<bob511> Indo-Tao-Tei
<dan2> now she's starting to do Damon's accent
<besoin> surely commander lin has better things to do
<impdentist> hahahaha
<theratwall> who is this kid
<donnamartin> kitchen kid
<autarch> wtf
<autarch> what's the nameless order?
<Ampersand_> burned by the dragon of acne
<animefilm> hes the kid who was sent to kitchen duuty
<autarch> hahahaha
<besoin> don't you have a dragon problem you should be dealing with
<autarch> ampersand
<impdentist> "well this sucks"
<autarch> wrong way. they get eaten.
<donnamartin> uh oh
<bob511> Rides off into Ashes of Time
<impdentist> willem the foe
<dan2> just tripled his horsepower, nice
<animefilm> lol
<dan2> see I told you the kite budget was insane
<Ampersand_> the great tarp
<sideshowraheem> oh hell yeah,
<theratwall> what in the world
<besoin> hope they don't try to land these in new jersey
<autarch> wait, why is he in jail if he's innocent?
<impdentist> this is not going well
<sideshowraheem> oh wow this technology seems like it sucks ass
<bob511> Cid, you fucked up
<donnamartin> wait in the hell
<dan2> easier said than done lady
<autarch> is she flying?
<impdentist> again why are they putting their most important people in their untested aircraft
<autarch> this is like the end of waterworld
<animefilm> the great flying eperiment
<theratwall> this seems like a failur
<donnamartin> i have no idea what they're doing
<sideshowraheem> they're getting a like 70% blow up rate on this balloons
<autarch> if you remember the end of waterworld then you know what i'm talking about
<lhs> they find the water
<animefilm> when the boat blows up?
<autarch> but there's the flying machine
<besoin> it was columbus ohio all along
<autarch> kill the queen?
<theratwall> we're gettin a queen battle
<autarch> who's the queen?
<donnamartin> i genuinely don't understand
<impdentist> the dragon queen
<sideshowraheem> the dragon with the thing on it's head
<autarch> your beau? he was a traitor
<impdentist> he's just gonna fuck up
<sideshowraheem> Willem Dafucked
<besoin> now the bad guys have powder
<dan2> he's going to get on a balloon, shoot an arrow in the air, hop on it, ride it to the next balloon and repeat
<donnamartin> why are they taking it away
<besoin> why would magnets bother the dragons
<besoin> be reasonable, movie
<impdentist> dan i think that was a move in cool spot
<theratwall> this scene is going to be very revolutionary
<sideshowraheem> that's the queen
<theratwall> kill the monarchy
<autarch> the dragons have nfc
<donnamartin> how does a magnet calm it?
<impdentist> it's science
<dan2> extremely fortunate no birds have run into the canvas
<autarch> dragons. they're just like us
<autarch> also, that's not what . a dragon looks like
<Ampersand_> mongolian buffet
<donnamartin> ahaha
<autarch> whoopsies
<dan2> agagaga
<donnamartin> so good
<besoin> willem defused
<autarch> lol
<theratwall> lol
<autarch> haha besoin
<donnamartin> aha
<sideshowraheem> they're going to burn down the palace trying to land
<animefilm> wtf is goingb on
<autarch> wait. where are they?
<donnamartin> this also seems ineffective
<besoin> no respect for physics
<dan2> time for the on-rails level
<autarch> why are the dragons in beijing?
<impdentist> they got through the wall
<bob511> Well, under the wall
<donnamartin> i love that her hair is still perfect
<impdentist> uh
<autarch> this doesn't make sense physically
<dan2> they waited for one warrior to go thought the turnstyle at the wall and then all went through with no card
<bob511> Not really the time for hot potato
<besoin> balloon seems quite sturdy now
<donnamartin> i know she said black powder is terrible but it seems pretty good for this
<autarch> what a hunk
<donnamartin> ewww
<autarch> WHERE ARE THEY
<impdentist> what's going on down there
<sideshowraheem> they're in the city
<besoin> hold onto your butts
<autarch> what city
<autarch> this is so confusing.
<besoin> the capital
<autarch> how did the dragons get into a city with people in it.
<sideshowraheem> the capital
<theratwall> wait they need to ask permission
<theratwall> its right there
<autarch> what about the wall?
<impdentist> this guy sucks
<theratwall> just kill it
<autarch> TNT nunchucks?
<besoin> strategist wang is the real hero here
<theratwall> suicide bomber dragon
<lhs> gotta have a sewer level
<autarch> shhhhh
<donnamartin> ahahaha
<impdentist> ah ok
<besoin> is that how those shields work
<besoin> kitchen man, noooo
<autarch> yeah. that's not the first time.
<theratwall> hes not gonna make it
<animefilm> still trying to imagine anyone seeing this in theatres
<donnamartin> just gonna leave him there to get eaten?
<autarch> "he'll live"
<dan2> just let him and his gaping would rest in this sewer water, he'll be fine
<dan2> *wound
<besoin> kitchen maannnnnn!!
<theratwall> why did the lighting all of a sudden get dario argento
<autarch> "he'll live"
<autarch> hahaha
<Ampersand_> loool
<donnamartin> ahahaha
<autarch> holy shit
<autarch> lol
<sideshowraheem> love a heroic suicide bomber
<theratwall> man
<lhs> his goose is cooked
<besoin> heroic martyr kitchen man
<autarch> "YOU SAID HE WOULD LIVE!!!"
<theratwall> "he'll still live" - matt
<animefilm> the lighting looks more like the natalie portman scifi movie
<sideshowraheem> wait I thought they didn't attack when the queen was feeding
<autarch> omg i'm dying
<sideshowraheem> wait, who cares
<theratwall> the queen isnt feeding
<dan2> Forget it Lin, it's Dragontown
<theratwall> theyre about to send her a SPICY MEATBALL
<besoin> i'm terribly afraid of that magnet
<sideshowraheem> those shoulder eyes are freakin my bean
<Ampersand_> bad baby
<autarch> is thtat the queen?
<animefilm> these guys
<besoin> this is so ridiculous
<dan2> Bodyguard dragons are amazing
<autarch> why is it so rainbowy in there
<donnamartin> i would love if one of them got kicked out for wear a dirty t shirt
<besoin> dragon pride
<dan2> I wonder if they were like the bullies of the dragon world growing up and they just kind of fell into the job
<animefilm> im amazed this movie came out without even being aware of it
<theratwall> its a good thing they have that magnet
<besoin> it was one of the highest grossing movies of the year
<sideshowraheem> I remember seeing a lot of commercials for it
<autarch> rats!
<donnamartin> oops
<besoin> oh NOW you miss
<dan2> I 100% thought this was a straightforward historical drama
<besoin> william tell here
<animefilm> the rainbow colors are really ofputting
<sideshowraheem> I remember the weird monsters from the trailer
<lhs> imagine how much poop there is
<donnamartin> what
<Ampersand_> my eyes
<besoin> hell of a throw
<autarch> nice magnet catch
<donnamartin> that was the most unrealsitic part
<autarch> yeah he threw that thing like 10 stories high
<impdentist> you idiot
<besoin> sorry, these guys are indestructible
<dan2> now you fucked up
<sideshowraheem> no english translation on that one just russian
<donnamartin> oh how generous damon
<donnamartin> you only keep failing
<autarch> hahahaha
<autarch> what the fuck
<theratwall> lmao
<impdentist> ah
<impdentist> ahahahahaha
<sideshowraheem> ahahaha subtitle
<besoin> dan!
<Ampersand_> ya busted
<besoin> meanwhile
<sideshowraheem> I give this subtitle an A+
<Ampersand_> 20 minutes of credits
<autarch> they all fall?
<donnamartin> hahahahahahahahahaha
<donnamartin> fucking locusts
<besoin> very odd biology these dragons have
<autarch> this is so bad
<impdentist> gonna be a hell of a cleanup job
<theratwall> what about dafoe
<animefilm> what did they do, i missed it
<autarch> this . is the dumbest movie i've ever seen.
<besoin> they killed the queen
<dan2> well I guess they're having dragon steaks for the next 250 years
<animefilm> put a magnet on a machine or something
<sideshowraheem> they killed the queen my dude
<besoin> blew her right up
<animefilm> ah
<sideshowraheem> wait how did he survive
<besoin> guess where I'VE been
<animefilm> i hope there is a sequel in the works
<dan2> The Greater Wall
<besoin> smooches
<sideshowraheem> this is Damon's best acting of the movie
<sideshowraheem> or maybe i'm ust used to it
<animefilm> he plays a smug person well
<donnamartin> so this is the story of how we got black powder, started the nra and got everyone killed?
<besoin> toblerone and bill WILL return...
<sideshowraheem> "he gave me a copy of Powder on DVD as well"
<bob511> Heh
<donnamartin> are they gonna bone?
<animefilm> wait srsly... they are still bros
<autarch> decker's gonna get laid
<dan2> they're not even gonna be able to ride the horses out of there with the amount of dragon corpses on the ground
<impdentist> ...i think
<sideshowraheem> oh he's back to wooden acting again
<besoin> she saved the entire society
<animefilm> the north west territory is the desert where dafoe ran off to
<donnamartin> wait didn't the entire society get eaten?
<donnamartin> i want her hair
<autarch> she has great hair
<sideshowraheem> 12 minutes of special effects credits
<Ampersand_> great wall, too
<besoin> nice wall design
<impdentist> wow
<donnamartin> i cannot, not not  believe that was the plot
<sideshowraheem> oh it actually is
<theratwall> now that was a movie
<donnamartin> someone wrote this
<dan2> great work Zhang, glad you didn't tarnish your record
<donnamartin> someone greenlit it
<autarch> that might have been dumber than gotti
<sideshowraheem> Max Brooks?!?!
<autarch> i think it was
<besoin> edward zwick!
<donnamartin> someone produced this
<bob511> Lots of people
<Ampersand_> zwicky wicky
<sideshowraheem> The Great Wall, Da Greatest Wall in da World!
<donnamartin> so many people said yes, okay, let's make this movie
<dan2> a wholllle lot of people produced
<theratwall> that script was written by the same guy who wrote michael clayton
<animefilm> idk how this got made
<theratwall> if you can believe it
<theratwall> the guy who wrote michael clayton
<donnamartin> i wish this was more of a where's waldo plot
<theratwall> worked on that script enough
<theratwall> to get credit
<sideshowraheem> we need all five northern territories, the northwest, queens brooklyn, manhattan
<dan2> Budget   $150 million[5] Box office $334.9 million[4]
<dan2> the system works
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Postby dan » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:41 pm

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Postby donna martin » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:10 pm

dan, you're the gif hero we didn't know we needed.
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:41 pm

This, Sunday,
trailer: https://vimeo.com/277899054
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:38 am

Killer Single Dad is tonight!

Check the dB or PM me to join!
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Postby Shalabi » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:29 am

can't wait for this and the sequel Killer Double Daddy
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:05 pm

Ampersand wrote:Killer Single Dad is tonight!

Check the dB or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:58 pm

~ 2 hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 15, 2018 9:54 pm

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:05 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Killer Single Dad
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