Tales of your roommates

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby whatabout tim » Tue Apr 03, 2018 12:59 pm

easy wrote:a single ceiling tile in our bathroom was also moved out of place, meaning someone stood on our toilet and purposefully moved a tile. anyone wanna take bets on why?


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Postby tgk » Tue Apr 03, 2018 12:59 pm

sounds like a pretty sweet party
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Postby tricksforchips » Tue Apr 03, 2018 12:59 pm

Hiding their molly.
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Postby Ted Pikul » Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:00 pm

impact splatter sounds like something out of Dexter
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Postby Viola Swamp » Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:57 pm

whatabout tim wrote:
easy wrote:a single ceiling tile in our bathroom was also moved out of place, meaning someone stood on our toilet and purposefully moved a tile. anyone wanna take bets on why?


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more like

(admittedly the safdie's biggest influence in making good time)
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Postby easy » Fri Apr 13, 2018 5:35 pm

simply love to come home to floating shrimp tails in my sink less than a day after I scrubbed the whole sink down (which is a thing only I do, apparently)
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Postby tawny frogmouth » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:17 am

My roommate bought a huge industrial grade juicer that sounds like a cement mixer and lawn mower are fucking. She uses it around nine a.m. every weekend morning, and my room is next to the kitchen. I finally asked her if she could not use it in the morning, or make the juice at night and keep it in the fridge, and her response was "I'm sorry but there's no way I cannot do it on the weekends."

And now I'm sitting here taking deep breaths
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Postby kit fox » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:30 am

tawny think of how many nutrients would be lost overnight in the fridge!! you monster!!
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Postby walt whitman » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:57 am

tawny frogmouth wrote:My roommate bought a huge industrial grade juicer that sounds like a cement mixer and lawn mower are fucking. She uses it around nine a.m. every weekend morning, and my room is next to the kitchen. I finally asked her if she could not use it in the morning, or make the juice at night and keep it in the fridge, and her response was "I'm sorry but there's no way I cannot do it on the weekends."

And now I'm sitting here taking deep breaths

lol

god and just the amount of labor/mess/food/$ that goes into shitty juice boggles the mind
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Postby fuckles » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:59 am

9am!!! on the weekend morning!!!!!!
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby walt whitman » Sat Apr 14, 2018 12:36 pm

roommate probably also is a hardcore yogi and needs energy to make the morning class etc etc

(im one of those too lol)
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Postby easy » Sat Apr 14, 2018 12:47 pm

fuckles wrote:9am!!! on the weekend morning!!!!!!

man, yes

as someone who also has a bedroom next to the kitchen and enjoys sleeping a bit late on the weekend: yes
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Postby easy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:19 pm

hey you folks always leave bags of raw chicken on top of the refrigerator for days, right?? like that's a normal thing that we all do, yeah??
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Postby mcwop23 » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:23 pm

did they get mad when you threw it out
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Postby easy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:26 pm

I sent a picture of it to the group text we have but I'm like 99% positive that the person responsible (the one I mentioned up at the top of this page) blocked my number a few weeks ago lol

just five more days in this place yall

I can do this
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Postby easy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:26 pm

at the top of the last page, I mean
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Postby mercenaries of slime » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:38 pm

my creepy 40 year old flatmate who hits on 18 year olds just posted a pic of himself on insta with the caption "predator"

:barney:
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Postby easy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:40 pm

wow you guys arent gonna believe this but it turns out none of the three people who live here left the open plastic produce bag of raw chicken on top of the fridge!!!!!!!

I just called a private detective to get to the bottom of this mystery and hopefully they'll be able to figure out the culprit who broke into our apartment in order to leave raw meat out for days, I'll keep everyone posted!!
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Postby tawny frogmouth » Wed May 02, 2018 9:54 am

i sent this first text to both my roommates to explain that our bill was gonna be higher, why it was gonna be higher, and what they could do to lower it if they cared. the crazy one responded but it wasn't a really crazy text or anything:

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then later, she takes it to a one-on-one because she thinks i'm saying the total per person is going to be $75 when i clearly said that was just the electric portion. i explained that and she came back with


Image

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she's done this with literally every one of her roommates, myself included, since we moved in together. we've had three other women come through and with each of them she's managed to take something like the text i sent and elevate it to the level of some goddamn wagnerian opera. she's also someone who will say, unprompted and several times throughout a conversation, "i just don't like drama." i can't engage with her or it will get drawn out, so i continue to exist in the same apartment with her, letting her psychopathic bullshit play out in her own head, so that i can continue to live in a nice space with a good landlord in a neighborhood i like.

and the kicker - back in january i sent her a venmo for her share of the utilities WITHOUT the "red flag" she said she didn't need, for an increase of also about $10 per person, and she sent this:

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Postby easy » Wed May 02, 2018 10:08 am

you should send her that exact screenshot
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Postby Darlene » Wed May 02, 2018 10:25 am

fucking hell.
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Postby galactagogue » Wed May 02, 2018 11:38 am

yeah i would just be like 'oh the reason for the flag is because last time you seemed very surprised by more or less the same thing, so i was just being preemptive.
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Postby galactagogue » Wed May 02, 2018 11:40 am

sooooo im moving into a new place and it's a little quirky-- im ok with that. but i feel sorta guilty because the landlord got locked out from doing a repair, since the locks on the back door are sort of janky and need replacing ( we've both agreed) and i left the chain lock on the front door and exited thru the back last i was there :X

i basically locked both of us out of the house by accident and i feel really stupid and bad for it and i havent even really lived there yet. hahahahahahah. oof.
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Postby jalapeño ranch » Wed May 02, 2018 12:07 pm

Is $10 even something to be upset about?
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Postby churrokbyme » Wed May 02, 2018 12:32 pm

jalapeño ranch wrote:Is $10 even something to be upset about?


Is the relationship that might be jeopardized by being upset worth more than $10?
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Postby Prof. Horatio Hufnagel » Wed May 02, 2018 1:06 pm

galactagogue wrote:sooooo im moving into a new place and it's a little quirky-- im ok with that. but i feel sorta guilty because the landlord got locked out from doing a repair, since the locks on the back door are sort of janky and need replacing ( we've both agreed) and i left the chain lock on the front door and exited thru the back last i was there :X

i basically locked both of us out of the house by accident and i feel really stupid and bad for it and i havent even really lived there yet. hahahahahahah. oof.


when i viewed the room i'm in now i got lost on the way out and ended up in this courtyard in the back that's got these high walls and no way back into the building without a key. i was too embarrassed to call back the dude back so i ended up having to scale a wall in full view of a ton of flats, then run away since it 100% looked like i just robbed the place
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Postby galactagogue » Wed May 02, 2018 2:30 pm

lollll

i feel really shitty cus we were planning on changing the locks anyways but i goofed and locked everyone out like a big dumdum. it's funny cus my landlord is a from hong kong and speaks in really short sentences but they got even shorter when she was yelling at me over the phone :( it wasn't actually that funny tho.
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Postby Stuntman » Wed May 02, 2018 5:11 pm

.
Last edited by Stuntman on Mon May 07, 2018 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Stuntman » Wed May 02, 2018 5:14 pm

.
Last edited by Stuntman on Mon May 07, 2018 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby joe » Wed May 02, 2018 5:21 pm

Mods move to members
dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
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