2018 dystopia logbook: happy piss year

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Johan POOPLER » Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:47 pm

Annie May wrote:Can't wait until the giant pizza ovencar splatters a pedestrian


issa gonna make-a big-a tomato sauce.....bellisimo
das ding wrote:
so what did he have to say about manly attraction to sheep?

i dunno. it's a very sad aspect of our nature, but also one of the foundations of love

ImageImageImageImage
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Postby john plainman » Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:48 pm

tgk wrote:


that video is funny as hell, the dystopia exists in the comment thread
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Postby Durham » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:37 am





good account
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Postby Durham » Sat Jan 13, 2018 2:39 pm

instant classic

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Postby mondays » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:03 pm

logan paul
shithole countries
hawaiian false alarm

good thing it hasn't even been two weeks in 2018
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Postby DasLofGang » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:40 pm

we're relatively close to entering this millennium and century's third decade and it still has yet to do anything but find new ways in which to suck shit
heaven’s full of murderers
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Postby DasLofGang » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:42 pm

TVs are really flat and the picture is incredibly sharp

that's it. that's all we got.
heaven’s full of murderers
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Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 8:59 pm

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Postby RIXX » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:02 pm

tgk wrote:


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Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:06 pm

those probably aren't as bad for you
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Postby the soccer return believer » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:10 pm

Add anthrax to tide pods
katy perry pissing all over my diamond-encrusted crown as I sentence another peon to death
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Postby tgk » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:15 pm

hopefully they start banning tide pods, those things are wasteful
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Postby Paul » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:39 pm

Durham wrote:



good account




https://gfycat.com/affectionateuniformamericancrocodile




also, hawaii related. people getting their children in to the sewer

https://gfycat.com/unsungdamageddwarfrabbit



2018 is fun!
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Postby joe » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:17 pm

dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
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Postby joe » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:18 pm

i mean a lot of shs belongs here but this one feels particularly insane
dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
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Postby theta » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:34 pm

Image
hologram wrote:also music is done and already happened so enjoy all that Sisters of Mercy while you can
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Postby loaf angel » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:18 pm

goldsoundz wrote:i'd bang that moron
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Postby office plant » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:34 am

Image
An early-morning emergency alert mistakenly warning of an incoming ballistic missile attack was dispatched to cellphones across Hawaii on Saturday, setting off widespread panic in a state that was already on edge because of escalating tensions between the United States and North Korea.

The alert, sent by the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, was revoked 38 minutes after it was issued, prompting confusion over why it was released — and why it took so long to rescind. State officials and residents of a normally tranquil part of the Pacific, as well as tourists swept up in the panic, immediately expressed outrage.

“What happened today was totally unacceptable,” said Gov. David Y. Ige. “Many in our community were deeply affected by this. I am sorry for that pain and confusion that anyone might have experienced.”

Officials said the alert was the result of human error and not the work of hackers or a foreign government. The mistake occurred during a shift-change drill that takes place three times a day at the emergency command post, according to Richard Rapoza, a spokesman for the agency.

“Someone clicked the wrong thing on the computer,” he said.

State officials said that the agency and the governor began posting notices on Facebook and Twitter announcing the mistake, but that a flaw in the alert system delayed sending out a cellphone correction. As a result, they said a “cancellation template” would be created to make it easier to fix mistaken alerts. A new procedure was instituted Saturday requiring two people to sign off before any such alert is sent.
Continue reading the main story
Related Coverage

Opinion Editorial
False Alarm Adds to Real Alarm About Trump’s Nuclear Risk JAN. 13, 2018
Hawaii Wants to Be Prepared for a Nuclear Attack by North Korea JULY 25, 2017
Hawaii Brings Back a Cold War-Era Nuclear Warning System NOV. 28, 2017
Intelligence Agencies Say North Korean Missile Could Reach U.S. in a Year JULY 25, 2017

At no time, officials said, was there any indication that a nuclear attack had been launched on the United States. The Federal Communications Commission announced that it had begun “a full investigation into the FALSE missile alert in Hawaii.”

The alert went out at about 8:10 a.m., lighting up phones of people still in bed, having coffee by the beach at a Waikiki resort, or up for an early surf. “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL,” it read.

Hawaii has been on high emotional alert — it began staging monthly air-raid drills, complete with sirens, in December — since President Trump and Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea, began exchanging nuclear threats. Estimates vary, but it would take a little more than half an hour for a missile launched from North Korea to reach Hawaii, traversing an arc of roughly 5,700 miles. State officials said that residents here would have as little as 12 minutes to find shelter once an alert was issued.

Within moments of the first announcement, people flocked to shelters, crowding highways in scenes of terror and helplessness. Emergency sirens wailed in parts of the state, adding to the panic.

“I was running through all the scenarios in my head, but there was nowhere to go, nowhere to pull over to,” said Mike Staskow, a retired military captain.

Allyson Niven, who lives in Kailua-Kona, said her first instinct was to gather her family as she contemplated what she thought would be her final minutes alive.

“We fully felt like we were about to die,” she said. “I drove to try to get to my kids even though I knew I probably wouldn’t make it, and I fully was visualizing what was happening while I was on the road. It was awful.”

Ray Gerst was vacationing on Oahu with his wife to celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary. He received the alert as they pulled up for their tour of Kualoa Ranch.

“All the buses stopped, and people came running out of the ranch and said, ‘Just sit still for a minute, nobody get off the bus, nobody get off the bus,’” he said.

They were taken into the mountains, Mr. Gerst said, and dropped off at a concrete bunker. They sheltered in place for about 15 minutes, he said, during which time they had no cell signal.

“It was scary,” Mr. Gerst said. “I mean, there was no intel.”

At Konawaena High School on the Island of Hawaii, where a high school wrestling championship was taking place, school officials, more accustomed to alerts of high surf or tsunamis, moved people to the center of the gym as they tried to figure out how to take shelter from a missile.

“Everyone cooperated,” said Kellye Krug, the athletic director at the school. “Once they were gathered, we let them use cellphones to reach loved ones. There were a couple kids who were emotional, the coaches were right there to console kids. After the retraction was issued, we gave kids time to reach out again.”

Matt LoPresti, a state representative, told CNN that he and his family headed for a bathroom. “I was sitting in the bathtub with my children, saying our prayers,” he said.

Natalie Haena, 38, of Honolulu, said she was getting ready to take her daughter to ice skating lessons when the alert came. “There’s nothing to prep for a missile coming in,” she said. “We have no bomb shelters or anything like that. There’s nowhere to go.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/13/us/hawaii-missile.html
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Postby freezinseason » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:43 am

as if north korea would do that. UK is more likely to fuck up in that way. they want their empire back
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Postby Sobieski » Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:49 am

Johan POOPLER wrote:
Annie May wrote:Can't wait until the giant pizza ovencar splatters a pedestrian


issa gonna make-a big-a tomato sauce.....bellisimo

that's amore
smoke less weed
get more sleep
always tip %20
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Postby Durham » Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:52 pm



the interface to inform you of your impending death by immolation or chemical poisoning is somehow the same as a craigslist ad for a used ps3
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Postby murray st. » Wed Jan 17, 2018 2:53 pm



A meme should not become a family tragedy. Don't eat poison.
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Postby Buzz Fledderjohn » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:40 pm

the beginning of the beginning of the end of the beginning
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Postby Robo-Chachi » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:44 pm

Minister of a lonely heart is much better than the minister of a broken heart.
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Postby goofjan » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:00 pm

murray st. wrote:

A meme should not become a family tragedy. Don't eat poison.


I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by laundry pods,
foaming hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the suburban streets at dawn looking
for a soapy fix,
Tide-headed memesters vlogging for the ancient viral
connection to the zeitgeist in the washing machinery of night
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby Milquetoaster Strudels » Wed Jan 17, 2018 4:04 pm

Not sure where to put this, but the chairwoman of the Minnesota GOP is openly soliciting bribes *cough* sorry--"donations"

http://m.startribune.com/apnewsbreak-mi ... ection=%2F
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Postby Dead_Wizard » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:07 pm

hell is us

Is Blockchain the Answer to Sexual Consent?


http://fortune.com/2018/01/16/consent-app-me-too/
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Postby strange potion » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:31 pm



My prayers have been answered.
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Postby noiseandpop » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:34 pm

too bad it's a conservative initiative.

rest in piss.
~~cry urself 2 ash~~
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Postby tgk » Thu Jan 18, 2018 1:21 pm

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